


Gewalt Schlaflieder

by starrynightfantasies



Category: Loki laufeyson - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abduction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Loki, Canon-Typical Violence, Coulson has issues, Douche bag Coulson, Erections, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Orgasm, First Time, Frigga headcanon, Germany, Hurt/Comfort, Leather, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki's issues, Loss of Virginity, Mention of Death, Stuttgart Loki, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Violence, Warning: Loki, during avengers, falling through the void, graphic depictions of the void, mention of homosexuality, virgin blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:13:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 48,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8449381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrynightfantasies/pseuds/starrynightfantasies
Summary: During the events leading up to Loki's attempt at taking over New York, he travels to Stuttgart, Germany. The mission is simple: Retrieve an eyeball so Clint Barton can get the materials he needs. Loki quickly becomes distracted by something else entirely- a violinist. A violinist who simultaneously manages to quell the fear inside his mind while further inciting his rage.He wasn't supposed to lose sight of his goal...





	1. Chapter 1

As Loki descended the stairs, his eyes focused on his target. Midgardian security was so lax, he could hardly believe how easy it had been to find the man. 

Movement to his left. 

 _Ah, the welcoming  committee_. 

He began tossing his scepter in warning, but the drone-like mortal evidently had no sense of self-preservation. Lightly swinging the weapon, he swiped the man across his face, sending him flying. 

 _Ehehehe..._  

He had no real intention of hurting anyone here. He came for one thing;  _that_ man's iris scan. Loki refocused on his target. As soon as the man locked eyes with him, Loki grasped his throat and flipped his feeble body across the table behind him. The screams of terror filling the air sent shockwaves of excitement through his body as he did the job he came to do. 

But as he looked up to scan the crowd, reveling in their fear, he noticed one person who did not seem the least bit affected by him. 

 

Of course, Loki had heard the chamber music when he entered the building. How could he not? It had reminded him of the music his mother used to play in her rooms on Asgard when he was a small child. She had even claimed the soothing sounds helped her garden grow, though he knew it was her magic that aided its beauty. 

But that particular moment was  _not_ the time to be reminiscing about his former home. 

 

The creature before him was intriguing. Not because she was exquisite. She most certainly was, but Loki wasn't intrigued by beauty alone. The interesting part about this woman was the fact that she was the  _only_ person who hadn't run from the room; aside from the two unconscious men he had had  _interactions_ with. 

She was clutching her violin to her chest as if he might take it from her at a moment's notice. But aside from that, there was no show of fear from her at all. 

Loki was both fascinated by her and more than a little angry at her lack of concern. 

"Play for me, mortal," he growled. 

She furrowed her brow. 

"Ex-excuse me?" 

"I said-- _Play for me. NOW._ "

There was a quick flurry of movement from the woman- sheet music flying from the stand in front of her, violin rising to position, and then the sweet sound of her bow making contact with the strings. 

And for just a few moments, the madness was gone. The continuous gutteral murmurings of the  _Other_ were obscured by the sounds emanating from her somewhat primative Midgardian instrument. 

She was watching him as she played; her eyes almost completely unreadable. Loki didn't know if she was waiting for him to tell her to stop, or if she was waiting for him to kill her. She didn't appear to care one way or another. 

He hadn't had one blessed moment of peace since Thanos had found him, and he wasn't  _about_ to let this opportunity pass him by. 

"You're coming with me." 

 

The woman paused with her violin still resting on her shoulder; her mouth poised in a surprisingly alluring  _O_ shape. Her brows knit together for the first time in what seemed to be genuine concern for her own safety. Loki watched somewhat impatiently as her mouth began attempting to form words that never actually came out. 

"Speak, girl. We have very little time," he said harshly. 

"I-- I don't suppose I have a choice in the matter... do I?" 

"Ehehehe...I like that. You already realize your place, mortal. You will do well to remember it." 

He grasped her upper arm, pulling her up from her chair. Once again, the only concern she showed was for her instrument. She carefully held it to her chest as if it were a sleeping baby. 

"One more question?" She whispered. 

"What?"

"Where are we going?"

 

Loki didn't bother answering her. That information was not something she needed at the moment. Pulling her along behind him, he began to change into his armor as he stalked outside toward the gathering crowd. 

 

 

Amelie watched, wide-eyed, as the man changed- from a suit and tie to... some kind of armor. 

_Oh, this is not good. I am being abducted. By...who is he? **What** is he? _

He was a giant compared to her- she was only 5' tall, and he must have been at least 6; probably a few inches taller. So he half-dragged her through the doors before stopping, slamming the end of his glowing scepter down onto the ground and shouting: 

"KNEEL!" 

A few members of the crowd began shifting around, but not many people obeyed his command. 

Suddenly, there were several more versions of him surrounding the people, forming a square around the crowd. They all raised their scepters at once. 

"I said," he turned to give her a menacing glare, " _KNEEL!"_  

"Oh! Me!" She fell to her knees beside him so as not to further anger him. He grinned down at her, but the smile was full of malice and she shivered in the cool night air. 

 As he spoke, Amelie couldn't help staring at the man. She  _should_ be terrified of him, but something about him gave her pause. There was something in his eyes. He wasn't himself- not really. She didn't know how she knew, but she was  _sure_ that he was more than just the evil dictator he seemed to be playing at the moment. 

 

 

Loki had meant for the Avengers to catch him. He  _hadn't_ meant to abduct a female along the way.  _That_ was  _not_ part of his plan. What amazed him more than anything was the fact that she had fallen asleep almost immediately after they were forced into the Avengers' jet. It was as if she held no concern for herself whatsoever. Either that, or she had a death wish.  _That_ , he could relate to. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Amelie woke in a cell. Alone. 

Its four white walls gave her no clue as to where she was taken, but that didn't matter at the moment. What  _did_ matter was her missing violin case.

_Where have they taken it?!_

 

"So-- Ms. Klein, I'm going to need some information from you," a surly voice said, seemingly out of nowhere. 

Amelie looked around her cell in an attempt to find its source, but there were no vents or speakers large enough for her to detect. 

She squared her shoulders at the bodiless voice. 

"Where is my violin?"

"Not to worry Ms. Klein. It has been taken to the laboratory for testing. You'll get it back when you cooperate." 

Amelie angrily flung her arms into the air. 

"I  _did_ cooperate! I went with you, didn't I? I didn't say  _one word_ when you made me kneel in the street like a puppet! Then, you have your band of  _freaks_ come and pick us up... I  _am cooperating, asshole!_   _Give me my violin!_ " 

Her voice echoed in the tiny unfurnished space, and she was so angry her hands shook. There was no response for what felt like hours. 

Then without warning, her cell door opened with a loud bang, and a man she didn't recognize stood before her looking angrier than she thought he had a right to. 

He was dressed in a suit and tie; almost as posh as those who had attended the party earlier that night. He didn't  _look_ like the type of man who could hurt a woman, but his eyes made her nervous. They were sky blue- almost too innocent. Even though his face was pink from rage, he wore a strange half-smile as if he was in on some big joke. She didn't like the look of this man, and she was very good at reading people. 

"Phil Coulson. And I am not part of Loki's 'band of freaks.' Actually, we're here to stop him from taking over the planet. Are you with us or not?"

_Nope. Still don't trust you._

"Loki? Who--"

"Tall, dark, evil guy you were on a date with... you know. C'mon sweetie. You can play dumb, but you can't play brain dead." 

As Coulson shoved his way into the cell, Amelie looked around for something,  _anything_ to use to defend herself. 

There was nothing. 

 

 

Loki chuckled while Fury droned on and on about his supposed crimes. 

_You haven't seen anything yet. Just wait until I turn you all against each other..._

"Let me know if 'real power' wants a magazine..."

"I want my violinist," Loki muttered.

Fury stopped, turned around, and walked toward Loki's cell. 

"You don't even know her name, do you?" 

Loki was sure Fury was just playing him for a fool, so he used his seidr to quickly poke around in Fury's thoughts. The name was at the forefront of his mind, so it only took a second. 

"Of course I do. Amelie Klein. Why wouldn't I know the name of my personal violinist? Now bring her to me." 

Fury started to walk away, but turned his head just long enough to say, "She's...busy." 

Loki banged his fist against the glass, not caring if the entire cage plummeted toward the Earth below. He just didn't want to spend one more night fighting off the twisted voices inside his head. 

 

 

"Stop...  _Please_. I don't know  _anything_ ," Amelie begged. 

Coulson grinned sadistically as he dug the blade deeper into the bottom of her foot. He knew that as long as she was wearing shoes, no one would know he had disobeyed direct orders  _not_ to torture her. After all, who would believe  _her_ over  _him?_

"You mean you don't know the man you  _came_   _here_ with? You're a lying  _bitch_!"

He slapped her hard across the face before slipping her shoes back on and standing to walk across her cell. He knew he couldn't allow himself to get carried away, or she would end up dead like the last prisoner. Thank goodness  _she_ had had an undocumented heart condition...

"I already  _told you_. He asked me to play for him, and I did. Then he said, 'You're coming with me.' I didn't argue because he looked dangerous! Now leave me  _alone!"_

Amelie jumped when her cell door swung open and a tall black man wearing an eye patch strolled in. 

"Agent Coulson," he nodded.

"Ms. Klein, I'm Nick Fury. I have reason to believe you have information that could help us in locating a very important artifact..." he paused, staring at Coulson's sleeve. 

"Coulson, is that... _blood_ on your sleeve?" 

Coulson's entire demeanor had changed when Fury walked through the door. Suddenly he was almost shy. Meek to the nth degree. This was not the man who had tortured her just moments prior. 

"Oh, yeah, um... Amelie had stepped on some glass...before. I was helping her tend to it." 

 _Fucking liar._  

 


	3. Chapter 3

"He's asking for her," Fury muttered to Coulson, "His  _personal_ violinist." 

"I- I'm  _not_ his personal  _anything_ , though! We  _just met._ He doesn't even know me," Amelie cried, completely confused. 

Fury started toward her, and she instinctively shrunk back into the corner. 

"See, I know that's not true. Loki knows your name, so he obviously knew  _of_ you before he took you from that hall tonight. The question is: what does he want with you? Loki doesn't simply  _take_ things...or people- for no reason. I need you to find out what he wants. That may help us find what we're looking for." 

Amelie didn't want to risk another torture session, so she said nothing. She was hesitant to help  _any_ of them, especially after the way Coulson had behaved. She really only wanted her violin. Then everything would be alright. 

 

 

Loki heard their voices long before he saw them open the doors. He was certain they didn't know of his ability to hear across such long distances. Otherwise, they wouldn't hold private conversations just outside the door to his cage. 

"We'll put her in there for observation- see how they interact. If they're working together we will know," Fury muttered. 

_Do they not realize that I am the God of Mischief? I could convince them that the sky above their pathetic little world was green if I chose. They have no idea who they are dealing with..._

"Loki. Amelie is here to visit you, but if we see anything inappropriate, she will be taken away and not brought back," Fury barked. 

"Ehehehe...define 'inappropriate.'"

 

 

 Amelie was half-pushed into Loki's cage through a trap resembling those at high security government buildings. The door slid open, and she went inside a tiny glass cage. Then the door shut, and the cage spun around, making her extremely dizzy. When it stopped, she was facing Loki, and the door opened again, allowing her access to his inner sanctum. She hesitantly stepped forward, hoping he wouldn't be another Coulson. 

She could feel Loki's eyes on her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She didn't know why. It wasn't as if she hadn't survived worse. 

"Where is your instrument?" 

Amelie didn't raise her head as she answered, "They...took it." 

"Look at me, mortal." 

Slowly, she allowed her gaze to travel up his body toward his piercing blue-green eyes. She hadn't noticed before, but he was  _beautiful_...not just handsome, but otherworldly. Although at that moment, he looked extremely irritated, so she couldn't really focus on his physical attributes. 

"What do you mean, they  _took it_?" He asked through gritted teeth. 

"I- I woke up, and it was gone... I asked where it was, and C-Coulson said it had been t-taken to the laboratory for t-testing..." 

Amelie was beginning to lose her composure, and she  _hated_ losing her composure. She felt a lone tear streak down her cheek, and she quickly swiped it away hoping Loki wouldn't see it. 

Loki took two giant strides toward her, grabbed her roughly by her chin, and glared into her eyes. 

"What  _is_ your problem, girl? When last I saw you, you showed absolutely no fear of me, and now you tremble. Was it  _them_? Have _they_ warned you of my so-called evil deeds?" He sneered and gestured to the ceiling, and Amelie knew he was referring to Fury and Coulson. 

"I-- I don't know anything about you. I just...  _DAMMIT! I just want my violin back!_ " 

At her outburst, Loki released her face from his grip, stepped back, and laughed. It was a cold, humorless sound that sent chills down Amelie's spine. This was a man in pain.  _Nothing_ was really funny to him. He was living a nightmare. 

And he had pulled her into it with him. 

 

"I ASKED FOR MY _VIOLINIST_ , DID I NOT?" Loki yelled, startling Amelie out of her thoughts. 

Loki began pacing the glass cage, his brow furrowed, eyes glowing with rage. 

Seconds later, Fury entered the chamber looking almost as angry. 

"You did, and we graciously delivered her to you, despite your manners." 

Loki slammed his fist against the glass, making the entire cage shake. Amelie yelped in panic, knowing exactly what would happen if the cage let go. 

"I asked for my  _violinist_ , not  _Amelie_. That would imply that I wanted her to  _play the violin_.  _WHERE IS HER VIOLIN?_ " 

It was evident that Fury was experienced in dealing with emotional outbursts. Either that, or he was on a very effective beta-blocker, because he didn't even flinch. He spoke calmly and professionally. 

"We had to ensure it posed no risks to our team before releasing it back to her. We will return it to her when we are finished." 

"In the same condition I hope?" Amelie whispered. 

"Of course, Ms. Klein."

" _Now_ ," Loki growled. 

"Excuse me?" Fury said, irritated.

"You will return it to her  _now_ or you will be missing a very expensive cage and two prisoners," he smirked. 

Suddenly all traces of anger were gone from Loki's face, and he was giving Fury a predatory smile. 

"You  _think_ that fall would kill me, but you're wrong, director. I've fallen  _much_ further than that before." 


	4. Chapter 4

As Loki paced his cell, presumably waiting for Fury to return with her violin, Amelie sunk to the floor on the opposite side of the chamber with her back to the wall. She hadn't actually believed Loki when he had claimed he would survive falling from the sky in the glass jar they were currently occupying. Neither had Fury or Coulson. 

Until he started to rattle the cage...

Loki had placed both of his hands on the glass and gritted his teeth until they squeaked. Suddenly, bright green light shot from his fingertips, and the entire cell began to shake. Amelie screamed when she saw the hole under the cage begin to open under its own volition. 

"Stop. Stop now, Loki. If you do this, she will die, and you know it," Fury muttered. 

"Don't you worry director. I wouldn't dare let her die. Not that way at least," he smirked, "Now, bring me the violin, or we're out."

 

 

_What had he meant? Wouldn't he let me die? Why not?_

Amelie looked over at Loki. He had gone still; his eyes clouded, and his posture was completely different. His shoulders were slumped. His back was bowed, and he had one hand on the side of his head as if he were in pain. 

 _"_ Loki?" 

He didn't answer, so she just sat there watching him, wondering what was going on inside his head. 

 

 

_You didn't fall...your so-called brother **shoved** you from that great height. You are unwanted, unloved, unworthy. If you fail, you are nothing. Nothing,  **Laufeyson**..._

Loki shook his head as hard as he could, trying to clear that voice from his mind. 

"Loki? Are you alright?" 

 

 

Amelie gasped as Loki turned his head just enough for her to catch a glimpse of his eyes. They were bright blue, and they were _glowing_. 

 _Oh shit_. 

 

 

"Why the hell is your brother so interested in that girl's violin? There is literally nothing special about it," Fury grumbled. 

Thor shrugged. "I do not pretend to know what is going on inside my brother's head, director. I  _can_ tell you, with absolute certainty, that he has a reason for everything he does." 

"He said she was his  _personal_ violinist..." 

Thor gave him an incredulous look.  

"Loki doesn't  _have_ a personal violinist, Director." 

"And what did he mean when he said he had fallen 'much further than that before'? Was he just manipulating me?" 

"Oh, no... he---didn't exactly fall though. He...well, he  _let go_..." 

 

Fury felt his head spin as he walked toward the chamber that housed Loki's cell. If what Thor had told him was true, Loki was not only homicidal. He was also _suicidal_. Fury bit back the tiny shred of sympathy he felt from talking to the thunder god. He  _had_ to remember who he was dealing with, or things could get really far out of hand very, very quickly. 

 

"You were lucky. As it turns out, they were finished with this," Fury muttered as he slipped the violin case through the sliding door. 

Loki took it without a word. Amelie was relieved to see that his eyes had returned to their usual green, so as soon as Fury left, she hobbled across the tiny room to reclaim her very favorite possession. 

 "Why are you limping, mortal?" 

 "I- I stepped on a piece of glass... earlier." 

Amelie was suddenly pressed against the glass wall with Loki's hands tightly wrapped around her upper arms. His face was just inches from her own. 

" _You're lying. Do not lie to me, girl,"_ he growled through gritted teeth. 

Amelie was terrified, but she wasn't going to allow  _him_ to torture her too. Not without a fight at least. She drew back and kicked him in the shin as hard as she could manage. 

Unfortunately, that only seemed to hurt her toes and piss him off more. 

"Ow,  _fuck!_ What are you  _wearing_ under those pants?" 

"Nothing. I am a  _god_. You are  _mortal_. Obviously, you can't harm me! Now, you are going  _nowhere_ until you tell me the  _truth._ " 

She wriggled in his arms, and he squeezed harder, making her whimper. She tried to pull away, but he took a step forward so that his knee was pressed between her thighs, leaving her completely immobile.

"What are you going to do, _god_? Torture me? Rape me? Kill me? At this point, I really don't care," she said, falling limp. 

 

 _Torture that disrespectful little trollop! Then use her for your own gratification..._  

 

Amelie was shocked when Loki scrunched his eyes shut and let her go. She crumpled to the floor and watched as he almost scurried to the opposite side of the cell, holding his head in his hands. 

" _Stop right now! I will not do that!_ " He yelled. 

"I- I'm sorry... I just... I thought... Loki?" 

Before she could finish, Loki had raised his hand and created what appeared to be a magical wall between them. 

His voice was weak when he spoke again. 

"Don't come anywhere near me, Amelie. I  _am_ as dangerous as they say." 

Amelie felt so sorry for him in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to help him somehow. She knew he was sick. Sick or possessed. And he knew it too. 

"Loki? Can I help?" 

When he looked up at her, she felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. His eyes were so conflicted. It was as if half of him  _really_ wanted to hurt her but the other half was trying desperately to keep from doing so. 

"Will you...play for me?" 


	5. Chapter 5

Amelie began to play for Loki- the softest, sweetest sounding piece she knew. Her hands trembled as her bow glided across the strings, but he didn't seem to notice. Loki had kept the barrier up between them, and for that Amelie was somewhat thankful.

She didn't know what he meant when he said he was dangerous, but the look on his face made her believe him. He was exceptionally strong, obviously magically gifted, but very frightened. And if she was correct in her assessment, he was afraid of  _himself_. 

 

 _What made one frightened of one's self?_  

Amelie had just begun to ponder that when Loki's head suddenly snapped up. He put his finger to his lips, and she paused her bow until he motioned for her to continue.

His eyes grew wary, and he said, "They're coming to take you away, darling. They don't like when I'm docile." 

 _No_. 

 

She stopped playing, and shook her head vehemently, a fearful look on her face. Now that she had soothed him, she knew that Coulson was returning for _her_ , not because he was finally calm. Coulson had an excuse to continue his questioning of her.

Loki studied her closely before dropping the barrier and demanding that she step toward him. 

"What is it, girl? Do not tell me you would rather stay here with the _monster_ than go to your own room. What have they done to make you this way? _You_ are not the same woman I took from that hall. And I will only ask you this one more time-  _why are you limping_?"

The last question came out as a growl, and Amelie fell back a few steps in fear.  

 " _Show me, now!_ "

 

Loki was trying to keep his unstable temper in check, but he had a feeling Amelie was afraid of someone on the ship. Someone  _other_ than him. He had already told both Fury and Coulson that she was  _his_ violinist.  _His_. Signifying that neither them nor anyone else onboard had  _any right_ to lay a finger on her. They were to bring her meals and anything else she requested, but nothing else. 

 

Amelie was actually somewhat relieved when Fury opened the double doors leading to Loki's cell. She really didn't want to leave Loki, but she also didn't want him to find out what Coulson had done. The strange thing was, she didn't really know why. She wasn't sure if he would be angry with him or her. He was so emotionally unstable already, she was afraid something like that might really set him off, and Fury would actually  _hurt_ him. 

 

 _Am I suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, or what?_  

 

"Time's up, I'm afraid," Fury announced as he slid the tiny door open and motioned for Amelie to come forward. 

 

"I wasn't finished with her yet," Loki smirked. Amelie noticed that his demeanor had completely changed the moment Fury had entered the room. He had put his emotional armor on, and was standing tall, proud- arrogant even, where moments earlier he had appeared angry and vulnerable. Her head spun from the contradictions.

 _Who is he really?_  

 

"Next time you bring her to me, I expect her to have been given the time and supplies to properly groom herself. This is not how you treat a lady, director." 

 

 

 

Amelie smiled to herself for the first time since she had been brought aboard the  _floating fortress_ , as Loki had affectionately called it. At least he had brought up the fact that she might want a shower. She knew she smelled awful. Her cheeks flamed at the thought that Loki might have an even better sense of smell than she did. Then she wondered why she cared. He  _was_ extraordinarily handsome, but she had met handsome men before and hadn't reacted in the same way. 

 

She had only a half hour of peace before someone was at her door again. Dread filled her as the lock turned. It was almost as if she could already distinguish  _his_ movements from anyone else's.

Coulson. 

"Fury tells me you need a nice hot bath." The words slithered off of his tongue, making her shiver involuntarily. 

"A shower will suffice. And I've been bathing myself since I was three, so I do not need any help." 

He took three strides toward her, jerking her off of her feet and dragging her to the door. A scream left her even though she tried to hold it back. Suddenly, Coulson's hand was around her throat, cutting it off. 

" _Shut up_ , or you'll be dead before your feet touch the floor, bitch." 

 

 

 Loki felt a sudden burst of rage at the sound of a woman's scream. 

 _Amelie_. 

He flung himself at the trap door, trying every spell he knew in an attempt to get free, but nothing worked. He banged his fists on the inside of the glass until the cage shook and the hole under his prison began to open on its own. 

When he finally realized that there really was no way out, he yelled until his throat was sore, pulling at his own hair at the same time. 

This was all his fault. He should never have brought her along. He should have demanded to inspect her feet sooner. 

 _Someone is torturing her right at this very moment...because of me. All because of me._  

"DAMMIT FURY! SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING!" 

_I will kill every person on this ship if I have to._

 

 _"Yes. And everyone else in this miserable realm,"_ Loki heard the voice inside his head agree. 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Fury could hear the god yelling from outside the chamber that housed his cell, but he wasn't in any mood to be bothered at the moment. He had ordered Coulson to gather the needed supplies for  _his violinist_ to have a shower, and he was on his way to speak with Thor once more. Loki may be unstable, but even unstable folks would give up information when they were in  _pain_. 

 

"Just stop, please! I  _don't know anything!_ How many times do I have to tell you? You'll kill me before you get anything out of me because I  _know nothing_!" Amelie's hoarse voice rang out in the small private bathroom as the agent continued to hold her feet under scalding hot water. She knew beyond any doubt she wouldn't be able to walk after this. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she refused to allow them to trail down her cheeks. 

"Maybe I don't really care if you know anything. Did you ever think of that?" Coulson snarled. 

Through the excruciating pain, Amelie vaguely wondered why this man insisted on only harming her  _feet_. 

_Does he have some sort of fetish?_

She decided to perform a Hail Mary type of experiment- one that had the potential to get her killed right then. She directed every bit of rage she held for this man at the exact point he was holding her. He had one hand wrapped tightly around her right ankle while his elbow was rammed into the pressure point in the top of her thigh. That leg was essentially useless, but the other one was not. 

Amelie closed her eyes tightly, then struck as hard as she could, kicking Coulson in his nose. The blow was angled slightly upward, and caught him totally off-guard. His body flew backwards just long enough for her to move out of arms reach. 

"You worthless little..." Nose bloodied, he threw himself at her. She had nowhere to go really, so he was on her in seconds. 

Amelie felt nothing as cold blackness enveloped her. 

 

 

"What are you asking me to do, Director? _Torture_ my own brother?" Thor wanted to be sure he understood what Fury was proposing before he flew into a rage. 

"You already said he was adopted...don't tell me you  _agree_ with his behavior." 

"You have no idea what you're asking here. Loki already despises me. I can say with absolute certainty that is why we are in this situation to begin with. You put me in that cage, and neither of us will come out alive. Loki has nothing right now.  _Nothing.._. At least that's what he thinks. There is nothing in his mind but a burning desire for revenge. There is nothing I could do to him to purge that desire from him. That being said... I believe your favored Midgardian phrase is  _fuck off with that_. I would  _never_ do that to him, no matter what he has done to me." 

Thor turned to leave just as Coulson strolled up beside Fury. 

"What was  _that_ all about?" 

"It seems I may have offended the one demi-god who is on our side," Fury paused to look up at him, "Coulson, what the  _fuck_ happened to your face?" 

 

 

 

 

There were moments when Loki wondered if he was  _actually_ hearing the voice, or if it was truly all in his own mind. He'd heard it so often when he was in Thanos' servitude that he figured he would never get it out of his head, no matter how many more centuries he managed to survive. He hoped he would get a much needed reprieve from it when Fury confiscated his scepter. He'd been _relieved_ to be rid of the damn thing. After all, the first time he'd heard the voice was when Thanos had given it to him. 

 _You're mine now, Asgardian_. 

It had slithered into his mind when Thanos had placed the scepter in his hands. The voice of the  _Other_. 

_"Who was that?"_

_"Let's just say that is your...assistant."_

_"I don't **need** an assistant." _

That comment had earned him extra punishment. More time under the bright burning light Thanos referred to as his _personal sun_. Loki knew it for what it was: a torture device created specifically for someone with particular sensitivity to heat.

When he was finally allowed to leave the furnace, his hair was brittle and breaking off onto his shoulders; his skin was cracked- peeling all over; great weeping blisters forming on every surface of his flesh. Even his teeth had been damaged by the flaming hell Thanos was so fond of.

Loki had never left a battle with so much as a limp before, but when he'd gone through the Tesseract and entered Shield's base, he truly thought he was dying. So he fought like a man with nothing to live for. 

 

 

 

 

"Loki!" 

Fury's voice snapped Loki out of his own mind quite violently. 

"What the  _hell_ are you in here bellowing about? I could hear you all the way in the control room. And," he glanced down, "it looks like you've managed to shake your cell enough to..." 

Loki banged his fist against the glass. " _Where is Amelie?"_  

"Oh, so she's 'Amelie' now? Not just your violinist?" Fury paced back and forth shaking his head. "I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, you may be using this whole  _personal violinist_ thing to trick us into allowing you to fuck with her mind or something." 

Loki's jaw clenched with anger, and he could no longer control his actions. He flung his body against the side of his cell, causing it to rock from side to side. 

 _"You're WRONG, director!_ She is being tortured on  _your_ watch, and you don't give a damn! Did you not  _hear_ her too? She was screaming just moments before you heard  _me_." 

 _"WHERE IS SHE?"_  

Loki was practically screaming with rage, and even though Fury was certain Loki could not escape his cell, he was still unsettled. 

"Listen," he said in his most calming voice, "if you will just..." He didn't know how to finish without further angering the god, so he stopped. 

"I'll go look for her. I'm sure she's fine." 

The scathing sneer on Loki's face could have melted the concrete floor where Fury stood. 

 

 

 

 

 

Fury tentatively approached a still-brooding Thor on his way to look for Amelie.

"Do we  _know_ why Loki is so...obsessed with this violinist?"

Thor gave him a withering stare before snapping, "I've already  _told you_.  _I don't know_."

He may as well have said  _fuck off_ once more. Fury shook his head at his own stupidity before continuing on down the corridor. 

 

 

 

"Director!" 

Agent Coulson was running toward him looking slightly panicked, and Fury felt his stomach drop. 

"I- I found the violinist... Amelie... is that her name? She's unconscious. It looks like someone used some kind of tranquilizer on her as she was leaving the bathroom. I left her to bathe herself...I guess I should have stood and guarded the door..." 

Fury stared at him for a moment, quietly assessing his behavior. He looked genuinely frightened; hands shaking, voice trembling, face pale even though his nose was still fairly bruised from whatever he had done to it earlier. Coulson frequently had accidents such as that one, so he was not all that concerned. 

"Show me." 

As they approached, Fury could clearly see that Amelie had been able to dress herself completely- even down to her socks and shoes- before the attacker had gotten hold of her. 

Carefully, he lifted her head from the floor and attempted to wake her. 

"Coulson, I want you to check the video footage from approximately thirty minutes ago until now. It seems we have more than one problem on our hands here. Loki didn't do _this._ " 

"Yes, sir." 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

As Agent Coulson carefully and methodically sifted through the video footage Fury had requested; making sure to edit it  _just so_ , he let his mind drift. That was something he rarely did. The past was a nasty place full of pain he couldn't stand to revisit. Unfortunately he had been reminded of it just that morning when Stark had questioned his relationship status, even offering to fly him to whatever faraway land Coulson had invented to keep further questioning at bay. 

The only person who knew the truth about his relationship was Fury, but even  _he_ didn't know the _whole_  truth. The rest of the team believed his cellist was a female who had moved away due to an orchestral job offer she couldn't refuse. Coulson had tried so hard to forget the night  _his cellist_ had been taken from him. 

Brian had been his world. He'd always had a feeling he wasn't exactly  _into_ women the same way that say, Tony Stark was. But Brian had been the one to show him why. It was slow and sweet, and so very romantic. Coulson had fallen for him without ever realizing what was happening. They moved in together in secret. Of course, Shield knew. They know  _everything_. But they don't care about an agent's sexuality or their relationship status unless it compromises their work. 

He didn't  _want_ to believe that Shield had anything to do with Brian's death, but something in the back of his mind- a nagging feeling- continued to bother him. He still remembered hearing Brian's pleas; begging for his life, while he was helplessly restrained in a separate room. He had been forced to listen to the brutal beating...the sickening sounds of bones breaking. And the deafening silence that followed.

The images were so vivid he felt as if it had all happened last night, not several years before. Huge men clothed in black tactical gear had broken their door down, dragging them away from each other, giving them no chance at all. He still didn't know why they had left him alive. Or why they'd left Brian's badly beaten body there for him to find. 

He supposed  _that_ was why he had had the  _accident_ with the first prisoner. He had been angry over Brian's death. Angry and confused. There was no excuse, really. He just couldn't stop. Even now, he couldn't stop. 

And it  _really_ pissed him off to hear Loki refer to that girl as  _his violinist_. That's what he used to call Brian-  _"my cellist_ _."_  

When he was satisfied with the footage, he left the secured area to find Fury. He needed to inquire about the girl's condition. 

 

 

 

Amelie woke to find Fury kneeling beside her bed, and she let out a hoarse little screech before he could stop her. 

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Can you tell me the last thing you remember?" 

Her head was spinning, and she felt horribly woozy, so she didn't speak immediately. She couldn't recall anything after leaving Loki's cell, anyway. 

"I...um...I remember being in Loki's cell. But, after that it's just..." 

Fury shook his head. He already knew. "Blank, right? You can't remember taking a shower? Getting dressed? Don't remember anyone approaching you?" 

"Approaching me?" Amelie sounded weak, even to her own ears. And for reasons she didn't understand, she wanted to see Loki. She wanted to see him  _right then_. 

"Someone- we don't know who yet- managed to drug you when you got out of the shower earlier. Coulson is sifting through the video footage as we speak, so we will get to the bottom of this. But for now, I need you to stay put. I'm going to lock you in, and I don't want you leaving this room unless one of us comes to get you. I'll have someone _trustworthy_ bring you something to eat. It will help with the nausea." 

 _"I can't_!"She blurted without thinking. 

"What?" 

 _"_ I- I- I... " Tears pooled in her eyes, and she couldn't stop them from flowing down her cheeks. "I can't be alone!" 

Amelie grabbed at Fury's sleeve. "Loki's cell. It's protected, right? I mean...you guys can see what happens in there! Take me there.  _Please._ " 

She knew that if she stayed inside that room,  _something_ would happen. She didn't know what, but when Fury had said  _Coulson_ , her insides had almost turned to liquid. He would come for her. Even if he  _hadn't_ been the one that had drugged her, he would come for her, especially if he knew that she was alone. 

"Fine," Fury scoffed.

"Just so you know, though, Loki is probably fucking with your mind more than you know. He's a predator." 

 

 

 

 

Loki wasn't facing them when Fury led Amelie to the small door that allowed him access to the cell. She'd had such a hard time walking from her room, she was dying to sit down inside, but she was worried that she might be disturbing him since he hadn't bothered to turn around. 

"And why is my violinist injured, director?" Loki's voice had a hard, arrogant edge to it that it lacked when Amelie had been alone with him. 

"She's not. If you would turn around, you could see that." 

"She's limping," Loki growled.

"How could you even  _tell_?" Fury contested. 

Loki finally turned, revealing a sneer that left Amelie partially afraid of him until he gave her a tiny gentle smile. 

"Her footfalls were uneven. I am a  _god_. I hear far better than any one of you." 

Amelie, who was finally inside Loki's cell, sat down on the floor, and watched as Fury shrugged and left the room. 

"Show me your feet," Loki whispered. 

This time, Amelie knew there was no point in arguing with him. Plus, she was hurting so much, taking her shoes off sounded like heaven. She didn't know why her feet were burning so badly. She remembered the first injury- the one she'd gotten from Coulson- but that one hadn't felt like this. 

As soon as she pulled her socks off, she understood. Her feet were badly burned. There were huge blisters all over the soles of her feet, and she still had no recollection of how it had happened. 

" _Norns_ , Amelie! Who did this to you? I'll _kill_ them." 

Loki's promise of vengeance confused her. She didn't quite understand why he was so worked up over someone hurting  _her_. She was nothing to him. 

"I don't...I don't remember." 

" _Tell me!"_ He yelled, rising to his full height and towering over her. Suddenly, she was terrified of him.  _He_ wouldn't hurt her, would he?

She curled herself into a ball. "Please don't hurt me... please," she whispered fervently. 

 

 

 

Loki took one look at her and fell to his knees beside her. He felt  _awful_. How could he yell at her when she'd just been tortured in almost the same way he himself had been? 

"Oh, Amelie...I'm- I won't hurt you. I was just- You  _really_ don't remember who did this?" 

The voice. The slithering voice of  _The Other_ tried desperately to niggle it's way into his brain at that moment, but he was just too upset with himself to allow it to overtake him. 

 _Later_ , he thought.  _Later, I'll let you consume me. But for now, you can kindly fuck off._   _I'm busy_. 

"I don't remember...Loki?" Amelie wanted to ask him for comfort so badly, but she didn't know if he would be willing to give it to her. 

"Yes?" 

She fidgeted nervously for a moment, tugging at her hair. 

"Will you-- I mean... Can I-- Will you..." she closed her eyes, "hold me?" 

Loki looked almost frightened for a split second before he reached out to touch her hand. 

"Show me what you want. I'm-- not so good at this." 

 

A few minutes later, Amelie was curled up in his lap; her head resting on his shoulder while his hand gently stroked her back. The rich scent of his leather armor made her stomach turn flips in a _much_ different way than it had when she'd thought of Coulson earlier. And the sweet, almost cool fragrance on his skin was so nice, she wanted to bury her face in his neck. She had to refrain from doing so, especially knowing how nervous he already was. 

He seemed so tentative, as if he hadn't so much as  _touched_ a female in years, but it turned out he was much better at  _this_ than he thought. His big hand on her back soothed her so much, she felt herself relax for the first time since she'd been brought on board. 

" _Thank you, Loki_ ," she whispered as her eyes dropped closed and she drifted off to sleep. 

Loki took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her- his violinist- and let himself enjoy the moment. It was the first moment he had actually  _enjoyed_ in a long, long time. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Loki couldn't remember a time when he'd simply  _held_ a woman. He'd had plenty of sexual encounters, but this was different--almost too imtimate for his current emotional state. But even though he felt distinctly uncomfortable, he  _wanted_ this. He wanted to be close to her; to comfort her when she needed it the most. He was desperately trying not to think about what had happened before that had led to this particular moment. If he did, he would probably ruin everything by getting angry all over again. So he just sat there, rubbing her back and toying with her long silky hair while she slept in his arms. 

 

As Fury watched the footage Coulson had pulled for him, he wondered if the agent had  _intentionally_ tampered with it, or if he'd simply botched the recording. He wouldn't have been suspicious at all, but Agent Coulson had only made one other mistake with their footage in the last five years. And it just happened to be the day that female prisoner had died. Unfortunately, that had been before Shield opted to purchase a secondary security system- one that only  _he_ knew about. 

Sure, the recording _looked_ legitimate. It looked as though one of the other male agents had been in Amelie's room just prior to her taking a shower, and had waited there for her. However, Fury knew that to be impossible because that particular agent had been on the floor in the main control room the entire time. There had been no time for him to sneak away and drug Amelie because Fury had been reprimanding him for his haphazard handling of Loki the day before. He even spent twenty minutes reviewing how to properly escort prisoners with the agent in question. 

It was time to check the backup cameras, and Fury was almost afraid of what he would discover. He fervently hoped Coulson had simply pulled footage from the wrong date and time. When he looked at the bottom of the screen, however, the timestamp was correct.

_Was Coulson covering for someone else? Or had he himself drugged the girl? Why?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amelie was muttering in her sleep, and as Loki listened, he realized she was remembering something important. 

"Not alone with him..." She started to shiver, and even though Loki knew his cold skin wouldn't help warm her, he wrapped his arms tightly around her body. 

" _Please..."_  

It was almost more than he could stand. He knew she was dreaming, and it wasn't particularly pleasant, but he wanted to hear what she had to say. He needed a name.  _Just give me a name, Amelie._  

Her shaking became more violent, and he finally whispered to her, "Shhh... it's alright. You're not alone. Shhh...." 

Loki knew he was no good at comforting. He was good at a few things; lying, killing, and plotting. Comforting was  _not_ his forte'. But he wanted so badly to comfort  _her_ , and he didn't understand why, especially since he was on a mission. A mission he'd almost forgotten entirely since she had come into his life so suddenly. 

Amelie was still muttering seemingly unintelligible phrases when Loki had an idea. He began saying names to her; names of agents and so-called heroes they had both had interactions with to see how she would react. 

_"Fury."_

Nothing.

_"Rogers."_

A small smile played at the corners of her mouth. Loki grimaced and moved on. 

_"Stark."_

"Pff..."  Loki couldn't help laughing at the scoff. Obviously, there was no love lost between Amelie and the metal man. 

 _"Thor_." 

No reaction. 

 _"Coulson_."  

She startled awake, breathing heavily and pushing against his chest as if she were trying to fight her way free. 

 

 _Fight back. You know you want to. It would feel so good..._  

The voice was back. This time Loki couldn't stop it. He clambered away from her as quickly as he could, throwing his Seidr shield up in front of her. 

 

"Loki?" 

"Amelie... stay... stay back." 

 

 

 

 

 

Fury couldn't think of a better person than Steve Rogers to take with him to the  _other_ secured area; the one no one knew about. He needed an eyewitness, and it had to be someone he could trust not to leak the location of the secondary camera system. 

"What exactly are we looking for Director? More of Loki's shenanigans?" 

Fury shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately not, Captain. This...is an inside problem. Anything you see inside this room must be kept completely confidential. I brought you here strictly as an eyewitness in case any of this evidence goes  _missing_." 

"Who...?" Steve shook his head when Fury didn't answer. It seemed as though this  _might_ be the right moment to just keep quiet.

Fury had set the video to play footage recorded inside Amelie's bedroom. Though Steve didn't agree with their policy of recording people while they were in their private spaces, he understood the logic. Times had changed, and he supposed _everything_ had to be monitored these days. Thankfully, they weren't recording people taking their showers or using the bathroom yet. 

For a long time, they sat watching an empty room, but Steve could tell that Fury was on edge. He still wasn't sure what they were looking for until he saw Coulson carrying a nude unconscious Amelie into her bedroom. Steve couldn't help it; he gasped loudly. Glancing at Fury, he muttered a quick  _sorry_ before continuing to watch as Coulson quickly dressed the girl all the way to her shoes. He took a long look around the room after placing her body exactly the way he wanted it, disappeared into the bathroom for a few seconds- presumably to cover his tracks- and walked back out into the corridor leaving her bedroom door open as he went. 

"Son of a  _bitch!_ " Fury slammed his fist across the table in front of them. 

"I'm going to need you to write a statement about this, Rogers. Just describe what you saw on the footage...Can you get that to me within the hour?" 

"Yes, sir." 

He still wasn't sure what he'd just witnessed, but he knew it couldn't be good. He had only spoken to Amelie one time, but she had charmed him. 

"Director?" He asked just as Fury had reached the door. 

"Is she alright? Amelie?" 

Fury rubbed at his eyes, suddenly exhausted. "Yeah. She's fine. Thanks for this Steve. I didn't want to see this...alone." 

 

 

 

 

 

Before he could speak with Coulson about his recent discovery, Fury had to question Amelie once more to see if she remembered anything. Any  _tiny_ detail that would help him understand what was happening. When he approached Loki's cell though, he got another shock. 

Amelie was on one side of the cell, sitting cross-legged and  _singing_ to Loki. But that wasn't even the strangest part about the scene...Loki had put up a shield between the two of them, and he was standing as far away from her as he could; pressing himself against the opposite side of his cell. He had his eyes closed as if he was trying to take in every word of the lullaby she was crooning. 

 

"What the hell?"

Amelie glared at him. "Shhh.... " 

And she kept singing. She'd left her instrument in her room when Fury had brought her to Loki's cell, so she improvised. It was the least she could do after he had held her while she slept.  

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Amelie had hoped that Fury would take the hint and leave, at least for a little while, but instead he continued to badger her until Loki finally opened his bright blue eyes, giving him a death glare. 

" _What?_ What could you  _possibly_ want with her  _right now_?" 

Though she could see that he was undeniably peeved, he still didn't drop the shield he'd placed between them. For a moment, she wondered why he bothered protecting her from himself; why he even cared enough to fight whatever urges came over him. He didn't know her at all, yet he seemed extraordinarily protective of her. The thought crossed her mind that maybe he saw her as a possession- as his property- since he'd stolen her from the hall that night. But she dismissed the idea soon after because he hadn't  _stolen_ her at all. She'd gone with him without a fight. 

"I need to speak with her. Now," Fury declared in his no-nonsense voice. 

Amelie decided she deserved a say in the matter, especially if Fury thought he was just going to drag her out of there and leave her alone again. 

"I'm not leaving this cell, so whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of  _him_." 

"Amelie, this is classified information that cannot be shared with... _outsiders_." 

Amelie could tell that Fury had almost said something quite different, but decided against offending the  _outsider_ he'd just not-so-subtly referred to. 

Loki dropped the shield without warning, striding purposefully across the cage to place his hands on the cool glass directly in front of where Fury stood. 

"Do you think that I haven't already figured it out,  _Director_? That I haven't already realized that one of your agents has been torturing  _my violinist_ whilst she is out of my sight? I already know who it is. Anything you need to say to her can be said in front of me.  _She is not leaving my protection again_ _!_ " 

With that last statement, Amelie found herself behind one of Loki's magical shields, and as she looked around, she realized it was completely out of reach from the entrance to his cell. 

 _He already knows who it is? How? Even I don't know who drugged me. Could he possibly know that it was Coulson who..._ Amelie's thoughts were rudely interrupted by Fury's angry reply. 

 _"Loki, I am not playing games with you!_ " 

Loki merely laughed at his weak attempt at intimidation. There was nothing Fury could do unless he climbed inside the cell and somehow broke the barrier between them. 

"Amelie," Loki said very gently, "take off your shoes and show the  _brilliant_ Director Fury what _someone_ has done to your feet while you were under his watch."

For some reason Amelie felt a sudden wave of shame. She didn't know if it was because she hadn't been able to defend herself from Coulson's attacks, or if it was because she'd been chosen for the attacks in the first place, but the idea of showing anyone else her injuries made her tear up. Still she did as Loki asked, knowing he was trying to prove a point. As she removed her socks, she heard Fury's gasp from outside the cell. 

As soon as he regained his composure, he pulled a small communication device from his breast pocket and began speaking to someone. 

"Amelie, I- " 

 _"Save it, Fury,"_ Loki growled.  _"No one wants your pity."_  

 

 

Seconds later, Steve Rogers walked into the chamber looking ghostly pale. 

"What can I do for you Director? I have that statement you asked for." 

Fury sighed, "Well, it seems you'll have to re-write it. Take a look at her feet." 

Rogers glared at Loki for a split second before realizing that Loki hadn't been the one to harm Amelie. Loki simply shook his head as if he had known all along he would be the one who caught the blame for it. 

"Not me this time,  _Soldier_." 

It angered Loki that anyone would think he'd harm one  _hair_ on her head, and he couldn't figure out  _why_. Why did that bother him so much? 

"What do we do now?" Rogers asked. 

"We take a few photos and go speak with Coulson. I'm going to need you as my backup." 

Steve looked like he would rather take a Hulk beating than go with Fury at that moment. Amelie smiled weakly, hoping that would give him a little encouragement, but he simply gave her a salute and walked away with his head hanging low. 

 

 

"I'm...sorry about earlier," Loki muttered. "I don't know why you wanted to come here. Why would you  _choose_ to stay in this cage with me, Amelie? Surely Fury could find a suitable bodyguard for you out there." 

Amelie gazed at Loki's face for a moment trying to determine whether he was angry with her or not. She didn't know him well enough to know if he was annoyed that she'd come to him, or if he was just questioning her. So she decided to tell the truth. 

"Loki...I didn't want one of Fury's henchmen. I--- for some reason, I wanted  _you_. You're clearly the strongest person here, and you're not going to hurt me, or you already would have. I just...I needed to be near someone I knew. At least a little bit." 

 _And there it was- his angry face_. She was so confused by his sudden mood swing, it took her a moment to realize he was actually  _upset_. Her mind drifted back to those moments when he held her so tightly. He'd thought she was asleep the entire time, but she wasn't. She had heard him when he'd whispered those words to her while softly stroking her hair. 

 _Why would you want to lie in a monster's arms, Amelie?_ _No one has touched me this way in well, ever...not this way. I shouldn't be so agreeable to this. After all, you'll probably decide I'm not worth it in the end. Everyone else does._

 

 

Now it seemed like she was talking to a completely different person. Though his eyes were green, she could see the fire in them. 

"You don't  _know_ me, Amelie! I  _could_ very well hurt you! I almost did today! Why did you think I put that shield up? It wasn't to protect  _myself_." 

 His face was so tragic; half rage and half fear. Amelie didn't know what to say. 

"But... you protected me. And I knew you would. I don't know how I knew, but I did." 

 Loki sighed, angrily brushing his hair back away from his face. 

"You know  _nothing_ , Amelie! If I had hesitatied for  _one second_..." 

"Loki, even if you had, it wouldn't  _matter_. No one would  _care_." 

Amelie spat the last word before realizing what she'd said. When she looked up at Loki's face, all of his frustration had been replaced with concern. She couldn't stop herself from continuing her rant though, no matter  _how_ guilty and broken he looked. 

 "This miserable, boring, loveless life I live... facing every single day with the terrifying reality that I may very well starve to death if I don't practice until my fingers are blistered. Eight hours a day locked inside a tiny practice room. Aside from the drugging and torture, this has been a reprieve from the ugly reality of my so-called glamorous life.

Loki...I came to you because...I knew you needed me to play for you...it-- seems to help. And I needed you for protection and- and- comfort. Trust me when I say that even if you  _killed me_ , no one would care! No one would even  _know_."

She was shaking by the time she'd finished. It was as if every bit of fear, anger, and bitterness had welled up inside her and spilled over. How  _dare_ he question her motives for coming to him for comfort? Especially after  _he_ led her there. 

Loki took two giant steps toward her, lifted her chin with his fingertips, and gave her a stern but soulful look. Her heart turned to lead inside her chest. 

" _I_ would care."

 


	10. Chapter 10

"Why?" 

Loki's face scrunched like a child's, even though it was perfectly clear he hadn't been childlike in a very long time.

"What?"

"Why would you care? You don't even know me, Loki. Aside from these brief moments in your cell, we have no connection."

Loki was still holding Amelie's chin between his fingers; either unable or unwilling to drop his hands and stop touching her. He couldn't decide which, and he didn't want to examine the issue too closely. He also didn't want to answer her question. It was all far too complicated. He desperately wanted to go back in time to that moment when he had held her while she slept- and stay there forever- because he knew as soon as he admitted that he didn't  _exactly_   _hate_ her like he despised the rest of the people on this miserable planet, she would run. 

"I don't know. I don't want to be held responsible for harming yet another mortal." 

It was quick and impersonal- and a total lie- but he couldn't bear telling her anything more. It just hurt too much to admit that he'd grown attached to  _anyone_. 

Amelie didn't know what she'd been hoping for, but it wasn't  _that_. She couldn't reconcile the man standing before her with the man who'd held her less than two hours before. Realizing he still had her face in his hands, she took a step back, forcing him to let go. The confusing mixture of sudden despair and disbelief coursing through her at the moment made his touch feel like a slap instead of a caress. 

_What did I really expect? I'm the one who asked him to hold me, so why am I so disappointed?_

Amelie didn't say anything else. She simply moved to the far side of the cell and sat down, but her treacherous brain began to poke at her; recalling details about his scent, the way his breath caught in his throat when she moved, and the feel of his hands in her hair. She hadn't imagined the man would smell so good, but he had. He smelled of well-aged leather, a hint of cloves, something cool and wintery- almost like cedar but not quite, the wild windy scent of _adventure_... and all of that was nicely tied together with a huge ribbon of  _male_. The smell of male dominance- if there even  _was_ such a smell. No, she was certain there was such a thing, because Loki had  _invented_ it. 

 

 

 

 

Steve stood outside Fury's office reviewing what he had learned so far. He still couldn't believe Agent Coulson- soft-spoken, gentle, always respectful Agent Coulson- had intentionally harmed and drugged one of their passengers. He hated to call anyone a prisoner. Except for Loki. He didn't mind calling Loki a prisoner- he'd killed so many people, he  _should_ be a prisoner. But he felt awful that Amelie had gone through such an ordeal without anyone being aware of it. 

"Captain. We need you." 

Steve sighed to himself before stepping into Fury's office to face Coulson for the first time since the incident. 

_Where was angry Bruce when you needed him?_

 

"Captain, can you identify these photographs for us?" 

Steve was blindsided when he'd walked into Fury's office. He thought the meeting would be between the three of them, but evidently Fury had decided to leave Coulson out of it for now. Instead, he had called in a few other agents whose names he didn't recall. 

"I, um, yes sir. Those were taken just about," he glanced at the clock, "thirty minutes ago. They are photographs of Amelie's injured feet." 

"And do you know how she received these injuries?" 

Steve wasn't sure how to answer that question. He hadn't  _seen_ Coulson do it, so he couldn't definitively say  _who_ had. 

"Well,  _allegedly_..." Fury cut him off. 

"No. Not  _allegedly,_ Captain. Do you  _know_ for sure who did this to her?" 

"No, sir."

Steve watched as Fury pushed  _play_ on the remote, expecting to see the footage they had watched in secret earlier that day. However, that was not the case. 

The video showed Loki grasping Amelie by her upper arms and pushing her up against the glass wall of his cell. 

_"You're lying. Do not lie to me, girl!"_

Amelie looked absolutely terrified, but fought back by kicking him in his shin. Unfortunately for her, it did nothing to the god. 

_"Ow, fuck! What are you wearing under those pants?"_

Loki sneered at her,  _"Nothing. I am a god. You are mortal. Obviously, you can't harm me! Now, you are going nowhere until you tell me the truth!"_

Steve watched in horror as Amelie tried to wriggle out of Loki's grasp, but he only squeezed harder. She tried to pull away from him, but he took a step forward, pressing his knee between her thighs. 

_"What are you going to do, god ? Torture me? Rape me? Kill me? At this point, I really don't care,"_

The video shimmered for a split second, and stopped. The next clip showed the two of them again, but Amelie was sitting on the floor in front of him. 

_"Show me your feet."_

 

 

"Sir, what about the drugging? We saw..." Steve was rudely interrupted once again. 

"It wasn't a drugging after all, Captain. When I spoke to Agent Coulson, he said he had been standing just outside her door. He heard her collapse during her shower. Evidently the pain from her injuries was too much for her. Agent Coulson was simply trying to make sure she was decent before coming to get help for her." 

"But Amelie- she had memory loss. How did that happen if she wasn't drugged, sir?" 

"She didn't have memory loss. She just didn't want to tell us what  _really_ happened. Stockholm Syndrome. It's a classic case. You know what that is right?" 

"Yes, sir. That one, I know." 

Steve wasn't convinced, though. He had seen the video. He saw Coulson looking around as if he were hiding evidence. There was something  _off_ about this, and Steve intended to find out what.

 

 

 

Loki had stood at the other side of his cell staring at Amelie for the better part of two hours. He wished he could listen to her thoughts for just one moment. He knew he had hurt her earlier; knew she had wanted to hear something more than what he'd been willing to give. 

"Amelie, I-- "

 

"Loki, don't  _move_. Let the girl out." Tony Stark's voice rang out inside the chamber. He was all decked out in his iron suit and Loki wondered what could have possessed him. 

"What? I don't  _want_ out!" Amelie shouted. 

"Stockholm Syndrome. Fury was right," Stark said arrogantly to the soldier, who was standing beside him. 

"No! It's not  _like_ that! I'm not leaving! He needs me! _I need him!_ " 

"Then I will come in and get you myself." 

 

"Norns, what  _are_ you doing, metal man? Did you not  _hear_ her?" 

"I think you've done quite enough, Reindeer Games. You just stay put or this cage will fall from the sky with you in it." 

The sight of Stark grabbing at  _his violinist_ was enough to send him into a rage, but all he could do was stand there, helplessly mouthing  _I'm sorry_ as she was dragged out of his cell, kicking and screaming. 

 

_"Loki! Loki don't let him take me! Leave me alone! Loki, please!"_

 

Loki didn't know what was going on, but he knew better than to try to fight the metal man inside his glass prison. The cage would certainly fall from the sky, and he would never be able to protect Amelie if she wasn't in his arms.

He would simply have to find a way out if he wanted to get Amelie back. 

 

But her begging and screaming for him.  _That_ really hurt. 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

Steve didn't feel right about what was happening. He couldn't bear hearing Amelie's pleading cries, especially since Stark didn't seem to care about her feelings at all. If she really  _was_ suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, Stark should realize that she would be very attached to Loki, even if he had hurt her. It was obvious she cared for Loki, but Steve still wasn't convinced that he'd been the one to harm her. 

After a particularly hard jerk to her arm, Amelie let out a yelp, and Steve finally stepped in, grasping Tony's wrist to slow him down. Stark stopped in the empty corridor, still awkwardly holding Amelie while she squirmed in his grip. 

"Tony! That's enough. She's not  _Asgardian_. You'll break her in half. Let me take it from here. You need to calm down."

"Why the hell is she fighting me so hard? You saw what he did!  _We're_ the good guys! She'll run from you," Stark finished with a haughty, humorless laugh.

"Just...set her down and let me handle this. If she runs, I can catch her."

Steve looked at Amelie with a hint of empathy in his eyes.

"I  _have_ to do this. Please don't run from me. You  _know_ I'll catch you, but I won't hurt you, Amelie. Will you just come with me? We can talk for a bit...if you want."

Amelie didn't say anything. She simply nodded her agreement and Tony begrudgingly let her go. She glared at him one final time before walking away with Steve without making any attempt at escaping.

All she could think about was Loki. Alone and afraid.

Sure, he was the most formidible of any of them, but he was fighting an invisible battle; one even she didn't understand, even though she'd helped him win it a few times already. Now he would suffer.

She kept seeing the same image in her mind over and over again- Loki, looking on helplessly while she was being dragged away and mouthing a desperate  _I'm sorry_ to her. He must have said it five times. Loki was not a man to apologize for anything. She didn't know if he was saying sorry for allowing them to take her or for something else entirely. 

"Are you alright?" Steve's concerned voice interrupted her dark thoughts, and she almost didn't bother answering him. 

 _No...I've never been less alright, thank you._  

"Why are they doing this? What did we do?" 

Even she heard the desperation in her voice, so she knew he could as well. She no longer cared though. She just wanted to be with Loki. He  _needed_ her. Perhaps even more than she needed him. He just didn't know it yet. 

Steve didn't answer her right away. Instead, he led her into a small room down one of the corridors. It was equipped with a plush couch, a tiny chair, and a coffee machine. She sat down immediately, taking her shoes off to alleviate the pain in her feet and looked expectantly at him as he sat across from her on the tiny chair that was more her size than his. 

"Fury believes that-- that Loki may have hurt you. And that you are covering for him... I mean, it's  _okay_. All of us-- we understand. We've all  _been_ there..." he stumbled through the words as if he were trying to get them out without antagonizing her further. 

"But he  _didn't!_ Listen, Steve. I'm not lying for anyone! Loki did not hurt me!" 

Amelie was so upset, tears began to flow down her cheeks. She knew Loki  _had_ hurt some others- she had no idea how many- but she also knew he would  _never_ hurt her. 

"Fury has video evidence of Loki being," he paused, pressing his lips together and searching for words, "violent with you." 

" _What? When?"_  

Steve recounted the events in the video for her, noting her confused expression. She finally realized  _when_ they had actually taken place, and she started laughing. It was a harsh, almost ugly sounding laugh. Amelie was pissed. 

"Do you know why Loki was so fucking mad, Steve?" 

Steve flinched hearing her use such profanity, but he shook his head, urging her to continue. 

"Because when Fury brought me back to his cell, I was injured."

She shook her head and sighed as if she were disgusted. "I should have just  _told_ him. Then maybe none of this would have happened."

Steve flinched again when Amelie raised her head and glared at him once more.

"Do you know  _who injured me?"_  

"Who?" His confounded expression was almost amusing. Almost. 

"Agent Coulson. And yes, he did it on purpose. Would you like to see? It may be difficult to see the  _first_ injury because it's covered by the others." 

Amelie decided right then she was no longer embarrassed or ashamed of being victimized by such a cruel man. Instead, she wanted to scream her truth to every single person with a pulse so that Loki didn't get blamed for  _harming another mortal_. 

Steve gently lifted her foot into the light, inspecting the place where Coulson had hurt her. 

"This isn't a burn like the others...this had to have been done with some kind of tool. Loki isn't allowed to have anything like that in his cell..."

 

Steve didn't want to leave Amelie unattended, but he had work to do. Amelie's confession about the first injury combined with the knowledge that Fury was actually  _hiding_ evidence from the other agents led him to believe that there really was something not right about the situation.

Fury had told him that the camera system in Loki's cell was fully equipped; meaning everything captured inside also had audio. When they'd visited the secured room, however, Fury claimed that the video of Coulson did not. 

 _Why would an agency like Shield install a secret camera system that didn't record sound_ _?_

"Listen, Amelie. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I don't want to leave you here alone, but I need to go look around. Will you be alright if I make sure the door is locked from the inside so no one can get in?" 

"Yeah, I think so... "

"Steve?"

He turned around; concern etched across his face. 

"Loki wouldn't hurt me. I know he has hurt-  _killed-_ a lot of people, but he wouldn't hurt me. When I came back from my room and had no idea what had happened to me, Loki... he  _cared_ for me." 

Steve nodded solemnly, then turned around and walked out the door. 

 

 

 

_You failed her just like you've failed everyone else who ever cared about you. Worthless. Homeless. If you fail this misson, you'll have nowhere to go._

Loki lay in his cell and let the voice overtake him. He had no way of fighting it at the moment. He'd let her go. He should have fought for her, no matter the consequences. He had no idea what the metal man was capable of, and now his girl...no... _his violinist_ was gone. 

_She didn't want you anyway. Why would she? You're a monster. A coward. Not even part of your own race. No one wants you._

He tried to remember the way she'd felt in his arms; the way her tiny body had molded to his, the way her hair had fallen across her back, her sweet smell. But all he could think about was Tony Stark with his big metal gloves all over her. Amelie, screaming his name, begging him to save her. And he hadn't. He'd just stood there. 

Now his mind was a tangled mass of black memories from the void; the voice telling him every negative thought he'd ever had against himself...And all he wanted to remember was her. 

 

 

 

As Steve made his way to the secured room, he grabbed a pair of headphones from his room, knowing he wouldn't want to be overheard in case there  _was_ audio on the files he was looking for. 

Searching through the files was easy. Listening to them was not. 

Although he couldn't  _see_ what was happening in the bathroom where Coulson had taken Amelie, he now knew there had been screaming. A  _lot_ of screaming.

Unconscious women didn't scream.

And screaming women didn't stop screaming abruptly unless something  _happened_ that made them  _stop_ screaming abruptly.

Like a tranquilizer shot. 

 

Taking a deep cleansing breath, he rubbed his eyes and kept searching. There was one more thing he needed to see for himself. 

The video from earlier that day began to play, and Steve found himself glued to the screen. He'd seen a lot of so-called  _villains_ and  _criminals_ in his time. But he'd never seen one act the way Loki had with Amelie. The way he held her...it was so tender, so sweet. Steve almost felt like he was watching something much more erotic than one friend comforting another. He felt a twinge of something in his chest, and quickly switched the camera back to the present. 

Steve had intended to go back and report his findings to Amelie, but when he saw the state Loki was in, he decided that someone needed to go check on the god. 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

"Loki-- are you... is everything... alright?" 

Steve was apprehensive to say the least. He'd already fought the god once, and although Loki was inside a cell originally built for the Hulk, he knew what Loki was capable of. He hadn't seen Loki like  _this_ before though, and he had to make sure it wasn't a trick before proceeding. 

It was pitiful, really. The vengeful god was curled into a ball on the floor of his cell; his green cape wrapped around his body- for comfort or warmth, Steve didn't know. But he was becoming increasingly concerned because Loki still hadn't answered him. 

" _Loki_." 

Bright blue eyes trained on Steve, making him take a few steps back from the glass. The last time he'd seen Loki, the god's eyes had been green, not crystal blue.  _Like the Tesseract_. 

"What have you come to take from me now, soldier? I have nothing." 

Steve was still unsure whether Loki was manipulating him, so he simply watched him for a moment longer. 

"You think I'm trying to trick you. You think I hurt her, and I'm trying to hurt you too. She was right all along. I would  _never_ hurt her. I thought I was capable, but now I see...I see that even though I am not in control, I could not harm that girl. But you don't believe that, so I will never see her again. After all, it's what  _heroes_ do, right? Keep the ones I lo--  care for away from me. The  _parasite_. The  _monster_."

Loki rose to his feet in one fluid motion and made his way to the side of the cell where Steve stood. There was something different about the way he moved though. He wasn't strutting like he usually did. His shoulders slumped and his feet were half-dragging across the floor. He looked tired. 

"Loki, the thing is, I came here because I wanted to  _help_." 

Steve did his best to emphasize the last word so that Loki understood its true meaning. He couldn't very well state his intentions with cameras everywhere. 

Loki narrowed his eyes at Steve. Clearly, he had caught on to what Steve was trying to say, but didn't believe him. 

"Sure you do. Just like Thor. Just like Stark. Just like everyone else here. I'm  _sure_ you want to help  _me_ ; the criminal who killed 80 of your men in two days." 

Steve didn't know how to convince him, so he tossed out the only card he had-

"Amelie told me everything, and I believe her."

 

Loki stood there staring at his hands for what seemed like an eternity before Steve's words made sense.

"Amelie...? Is she alright?

But Steve had already walked away. 

_Of course she's alright! She has the soldier, the metal man, and the mighty Thor looking after her now. She's forgotten you._

As if it would do any good, Loki slapped both hands over his ears and let out a feral growl. He grasped his hair, pulling it as hard as he could in an attempt to stop the searing pain in his chest. She'd been talking to the soldier. She'd told  _him_ everything. 

 

 

 

Steve left Loki's cell still wondering if the Asgardian was alright. He knew he would never get a straight answer from him, so he'd just given up. Unfortunately, that meant he would have to lie to Amelie and tell her that Loki was fine. She cared for him, and Steve didn't want to cause her any more pain. 

He expected to see Amelie fast asleep on the couch when he arrived, but she was sitting up drinking a cup of coffee and staring at the wall. 

"Amelie?"

"Coulson tried to get in."

Her voice sounded utterly dead, and Steve wondered how long she'd been sitting there in that position.

"He yelled at me from behind the door. Told me that if I didn't let him in, he'd just go hurt Loki instead. I knew that would never happen. Loki would kill him. Steve... why won't he leave me alone?"

Amelie's voice broke on the last word, and Steve dropped the files he was carrying to sit down next to her. He decided he would let her choose whether she wanted to use him for comfort or not.

"Amelie, I don't have the answer to that... he's _sick_. Listen... I know this is going to be hard for you, but I need you to try to remember what happened in that bathroom. I-- I saw the video footage. Well, actually, I _heard_ the video footage." 

When Amelie turned to look at him, her face had gone completely white; so pale Steve thought she might faint. He placed a hand at the small of her back to steady her.

"Y-you _saw?_ I don't know what happened, but I know I wasn't  _dressed!_ " 

"Oh. Oh, no. No! I didn't mean... I didn't see _inside_ the bathroom, Amelie! They don't have cameras in there!" 

Steve's face was so hot from embarrassment, he felt as if it would catch on fire at any moment, but when Amelie began to giggle, his mortification faded. Soon, they were both cackling with laughter.  

It wasn't long before Amelie's laughter turned sour though. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her body was shaking with sobs. 

"S-Steve... You h-have to f-fix this.... Y-you know the t-truth." 

He wanted to console her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her so badly, but all he could think of was that video. All he could think about was how she'd curled up in Loki's lap. How he had held her. Steve couldn't do that. For whatever reason- no matter how badly he wanted to, he just couldn't. 

"Listen, Amelie. I need you to try to remember what happened that day in the bathroom. Like I said... I didn't  _see_ anything inside. All I could see on the video was Coulson bringing you- unconscious- into the bedroom and getting you dressed. But while you were in the bathroom, you were... screaming. A lot. You were screaming for someone to- to- stop. What were they doing? Who were you screaming at?" 

Amelie looked up; her face soaked with tears, but her eyes were fierce. 

" _Coulson._ Steve, it  _had_ to have been him. Who else could have done it? And if those other agents saw the video and heard me screaming, how could they  _possibly_ think that Loki did this?" 

Steve really didn't want to tell her that Fury hadn't shown them the video. And he certainly didn't want to tell her that Fury had lied about the audio on the recording. But he did. 

"That's  _it_. I want to talk to him.  _Now._ " 

She was halfway to the door when Steve stopped her. 

"Amelie, he doesn't know I listened to the tapes... he only knows that I  _saw_ that one video. So you can't tell him any of that. I've been doing some investigating... and if you want me to continue, you need to be patient. I'll get to the bottom of this. I promise." 

 

 

 

 

 Fury had been avoiding speaking with Agent Coulson for a few hours. He knew it would be a difficult conversation, and as much as he wanted to get to the bottom of this, he just had a tough time with emotional talks. However, when Coulson came to his private office to ask why Amelie had been moved to a different room, Fury took it as a sign he needed to just get it over with. 

"Ah, Agent Coulson. I'm glad you came by. I've been meaning to talk with you about something a bit...sensitive. It involves Amelie." 

Coulson appeared slightly confused by Fury's choice of topic, but he closed the door and sat down across from Fury. 

"You see, I know what has been going on behind closed doors. And I want to know  _why_." 

"What-- What do you mean, Director?" 

This was often the problem with working around agents and spies. They were phenomenal actors and actresses. One never knew if they were putting on a show for your benefit. 

"I mean the hostility you seem to have toward her, Agent. She has injuries. Now, I managed to blame them on Loki. He's the perfect scapegoat. But I need to know why you thought it was appropriate to torture her, even though you knew she knows nothing. Is it a fetish? Some sort of sexual thing?" 

Coulson was silent for a while, and Fury watched his body language. He didn't seem to be the least bit ashamed of his actions, or of the fact that someone knew about them. 

"No. It's most certainly not a sexual thing, Director. You _know_ me," he said, implying that Fury knew of his orientation.

"She has information. She knows where the Tesseract is. I was just trying to do my job." 

Suddenly, Fury was angry. He slammed his fist down on the desktop, rattling trays and picture frames. 

"That girl doesn't know  _shit_ , and  _you know it!_ Now stop trying to lie your way out of this and tell me the fucking truth! Why are you torturing that girl?" 

Coulson didn't answer, so Fury stood, towering over him with an angry scowl on his face. 

"Do your job. Find the Tesseract. Stop  _fucking around_ or I swear to God, you're out of here. You were lucky I had Loki to blame for your shit this time. Now, get  _out_ of my face."

Before Coulson could reach the door, Fury called out-

"I know about the last one, Coulson."

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Deep down, Coulson knew what Fury had meant when he said he  _knew about the other one_. He knew Coulson had been responsible for the other prisoner's death. What he couldn't understand was why Fury hadn't done anything about it. 

Unless Shield really  _had_ killed Brian, and Fury knew about that as well. 

 

That was when Coulson finally realized what was going on.

Fury felt that he _owed_ Coulson. Otherwise, he would be in prison by now. 

Instead of heading toward the main control room as he had originally intended, he decided to go on his own little mission. Stark and Banner may not be able to find the Tesseract, but he had no doubt he could drag the information out of Loki. All he needed was a few minutes alone with him and Amelie without the security cameras. 

 

 

It had been a while since Fury checked on Loki, so he made his way down to his cell hoping the Asgardian wouldn't be too hostile toward him. When he arrived, Loki was pacing his cell, muttering to himself; green sparks flying from his fingertips. Fury was grateful for the glass barrier, but wondered if they needed something a bit more durable. 

"Is everything alright, Loki? You seem a little disturbed."

Loki rolled his eyes, jutting his chin out and gritting his teeth at the man who was supposed to be the head of the greatest security network on Midgard. 

"Where is my violinist?" He whispered menacingly. 

_Your violinist... You dare call her yours, Asgardian? She was never yours. She never will be yours. You have a mission. And if you don't complete it, he will make you beg for death. Just as you did before. You remember, don't you?_

Ignoring the Other, Loki continued to glare at Fury as he took several strides toward the side of the cell. With his face inches from the glass, he yelled, " _Where is she, director?"_

Fury chuckled. "You lost your privilege to  _your_ violinist when you decided to torture her. She's safe. Don't you worry. Rogers is looking after her."

_Yes, that's right. She's bonded with him. He's comforting her in a way that you never could. You, with your ice cold skin...you're a walking nightmare._

Loki's hands slid down the glass as he squeezed his eyes shut and fell to his knees on the floor. He didn't know how much longer he could listen to that voice. It hadn't stopped for one second since Amelie had left his presence. His only reprieve had been when the soldier had come to talk with him. He almost wished he hadn't managed to scare him away.  _Almost._ But when he thought about Amelie telling that other man everything he had begged her to tell  _him_...

 _"_ You know I didn't do it. Yet you choose to punish me anyway.  _Why?_ Yes, I killed many of your men. And yes, I would kill just as many to get out of here. I'd kill you too if I had the chance just because you've taken her away from me. But I wouldn't hurt a single  _hair_ on that girl's head. Now, would you kindly _leave me alone?_ "

Fury didn't argue. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders, turned, and left the room. Loki couldn't decide if he was relieved or angry that Fury hadn't denied his accusation. He _knew_ Loki hadn't hurt Amelie. So, why was he torturing him for no reason?

 _To force you to surrender. But you can't. You're mine_.

Loki shook his head in an attempt to clear it, as he'd done so many times already. He needed to get free of the cell. He  _had_ to get rid of the scepter. He knew if he was rid of that, the voice would go as well. Then maybe he could be the man that Amelie needed.

 

 

 

After Coulson had disabled the cameras in the chamber that held Loki's cell, he searched through older footage to find something to use for a loop. After all, someone would notice if there was suddenly no security feed from the most observed room in the entire ship.

He also knew that Steve would have to leave Amelie's side eventually because he'd been watching the two of them. Steve was almost certainly doing some  _investigating_ for her. That meant that she must actually  _care_ what happened to the god who'd been blamed for her injuries.

This plan was going to work. It  _had_ to work. If he could find out where the Tesseract was, he could bribe Fury into telling him who had been responsible for killing his lover. 

While he waited for Steve to leave Amelie alone, Coulson located the keys to the room where she was staying. He couldn't have her refusing to let him in again. 

 

 

 

"I need to go talk to Loki again. I know he doesn't trust me after what happened, and if I'm going to help, I need to get him talking."

Amelie looked at Steve like he'd sprouted horns.

"What? Is that so crazy? I'm a likeable guy, right?"

She shook her head, laughing. There was no way in hell Loki was going to open up to Steve, of all people. He was just too... _good_.

"Steve...first of all, of _course_ you're likeable. People like, oh I don't know, the president like you. People who  _haven't_ killed a ton of other people. But Loki? Steve, Loki is  _never_ going to trust you. You're just too nice."

She shook her head, feeling guilty for saying something even slightly offensive about Loki.

"That came out all wrong. He's had a hard time. Even  _I_ don't know what's happened to him, but I do know that the guy who is currently occupying that cell? That's not the real Loki. That's only part of him. I don't know who else is in there with him."

Steve listened intently to her words, considering them carefully.  _Who else is in there with him..._

"Why would you say...? His eyes. They changed. They were green-- and when I saw him earlier, they were--"

Amelie interrupted. "Bright blue. He wasn't himself. Why didn't you  _tell_ me? He needs me, Steve. When he was like that before, I- I played for him, and he sort-of came out of it. Actually, when I didn't have my violin, I sang."

"So  _that's_ why he calls you  _his_ violinist..." 

Amelie nodded, tears welling in her eyes. The thought of Loki, alone in his cell and dealing with whatever madness plagued his mind made her want to run to him, tearing her way through anyone who stood in her way. 

Steve saw her face and made a decision. "Let me speak with Fury. I'll be back as soon as I can. Keep this door closed."

 

 

 

Just as Steve had made his decision, Loki made his own. He was going to get out of that cell even if it fell from the sky. He no longer cared what happened afterward. As long as he was away from that damn scepter, he would be free. He braced himself for what he was about to do, but was interrupted. 

The doors opened, and two people entered the chamber. Suddenly, Loki was ready to  _fight_.

It was Coulson, and he was dragging Amelie into the room by her hair.  

"Either you tell me where the Tesseract is, or I  _kill_   _her_ in front of you... and you'll be helpless to stop me in your glass prison!" 

Amelie-  _his_ Amelie screamed his name as Coulson jerked her up to a standing position against his body, pulled a knife out of his jacket, and slashed at her exposed stomach. 

" _Loki!"_

"You shut up!" He yelled, jerking her hair once more. 

"That was just a preview, Asgardian. Now,  _tell me where it is_ , or she dies. I know you  _care_ for her!  _Your_ violinist," he sneered. 

Amelie managed to reach her hand down to cover the open wound, and when she saw the blood smeared on her fingers, she cried out again. 

 _"Oh god... Loki, please!"_  

 

Fortunately, Loki had already calculated several ways out of his cell.

Coulson's breaths were numbered. 

"I'm coming, love," he muttered as he used every bit of energy he had to throw his body through the glass.


	14. Chapter 14

As Loki flew through the glass, his cell plummetted, giving him only a split second to make it across the divide before the heavy metal container came crashing down to knock him into the sky below. 

In complete shock, Coulson let go of Amelie just long enough for her to fall to the floor, avoiding the spray of glass shards as they scattered across the room. 

"Norns, that was close," Loki breathed as he grasped Coulson's throat and slammed him against the wall. He'd hit the floor and tumbled up onto his feet before the agent could even begin to respond. 

"Now what were you saying about my not being able to do anything in my glass prison?"

Loki lifted him off of his feet by his throat and shook him like a feather duster. "Say your prayers, mortal."

 

 _"No, Loki!_ " He heard Amelie gasp from behind him. "If you kill him, they'll never know the truth. They'll blame  _you_ for this," she pointed to the growing pool of blood around her. 

"He  _deserves_ it after what he's done to you, Amelie!  _Don't you deserve it, you worthless thief of oxygen?_ " Loki was gritting his teeth, snarling in Coulson's face as he shook him by his throat. Coulson clawed at Loki's hands to no avail. There was no escape from his iron grip. 

"How  _dare_ you torture and humiliate a lady?  _My_ lady." 

Coulson let out a gasping yelp as Loki hauled him the few feet toward the empty hole left by his now missing cell. He laughed maliciously as he dangled Coulson's flailing body dangerously over the edge. 

"Would you like to know what it feels like, mortal?  _I_ know.  _I've_ been there. The only difference is, you won't survive. You'll fall and fall and fall, screaming all the way down, and when you hit the ground there won't be anything left. It is absolutely  _terrifying_. Even for a god. You may even be spared...you may perish on the way down. After all, you  _are_ the type of man who has to torture  _women_ for fun, so you probably won't have the fortitude to make it through such a traumatic experience." 

 

"Loki..." Amelie whispered. 

He turned to see her eyes dropping closed, and he knew she was losing too much blood. He had to make up his mind. 

 _Fuck it._  

"I'm going to tend to her. If you can hold on, maybe the other _heroes_ will save your worthless ass." 

Loki pushed Coulson down into the hole, watching as the agent scrambled to gain some purchase with his hands. When he settled, his fingers were barely clinging to the ledge. 

"Perfect," Loki smirked. "You hang there for a moment. I'll be right back to determine your fate." 

 

 

"Amelie... " Loki whispered her name as he gently lifted her into his arms. He carried her to a spot where there was no glass on the floor, and sat down, laying her on his lap. 

"Stay very still, love."

Amelie was more than a little dizzy from blood loss, and in a lot of pain, but in that moment, lying across his lap, she was happier than she'd been in several days.  _And he'd called her 'love'..._

" _Loki_ ," she whispered, " _I missed you..."_

"Shhh... don't move. I'm going to heal you, but you must be very still." 

Although he'd shushed her, Loki couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face.  _She had missed him_.  _His violinist had missed him._

Amelie watched hazily as green light emanated from Loki's hands, spreading across her stomach. Where she'd been experiencing pain, she now felt a cold tingly sensation. 

"I'm so sorry, Amelie. I should have done something about him before. I should have done something the first time you came here injured." 

"But you dint knnoww...howw coulld youu... knoww?" Amelie was falling asleep in his arms. He had known that she would. She had been through so much in such as short amount of time. Now that she was healing, her mortal body had to make up for the trauma somehow. 

As much as Loki wanted to take her and run from there, he knew he couldn't- not without first finding her violin, and second getting rid of the scepter. He knew it would end up falling back into his hands if he didn't send it somewhere off-world.

For a moment, he forgot all about Coulson, all about the rage he'd felt just moments before. So, he sat there in the floor holding her for as long as he could before anyone came to take her away again. 

 

 

 

Seconds later, Fury, the soldier, and the metal man entered the room, and Loki clung to Amelie, shielding her body from whatever idiocy they might have planned. Stark immediately started toward him, but the soldier stopped him. 

"Tony- Let them be. Just... watch." 

"What the fuck do you mean,  _watch?_ He obviously broke out of his cell just to hurt her.  _Look_ at her!" 

 

 

"Loki, what is going on here? How the  _hell_ did you manage to break the glass in your cell without... wait a minute. Where's Coulson?" 

Loki was still holding Amelie as tightly as he could without actually hurting her. As Fury walked toward him, he wanted nothing more than to protect her from him, even though he knew the real threat was gone.

Loki nodded toward the hole where Coulson was still hanging, evidently concentrating too hard on trying to stay alive to speak. 

"Stark! Get Agent Coulson!" Fury shouted while Loki proceeded to tell him what had happened. 

"He dragged Amelie in here by her hair and told me he would kill her in front of me if I didn't give up the location of the Tesseract. He slashed her stomach with a knife, and I was able to break through the glass to save her. You won't find surveillance though. I feel quite certain he turned the cameras off." 

 

 

"He's lying," Tony exclaimed after he had flown down the hole to retrieve a shaking and terrified Coulson. 

"I don't think so," Steve said. "And Director, we both know where we can find footage..." 

 Fury turned to glare at Steve. "I  _told_ you not to say anything about that." 

"Yes, well when you use that system to frame someone who is innocent, then it should no longer be a secret," Steve challenged.   

"Loki, I believe you." 

 Loki nodded at the soldier, not sure how else to respond.

 

 

"Well, just in case, I think we should keep Amelie separated from you for now," Fury declared, attempting to lift Amelie from Loki's grasp. 

" _No,"_ Loki growled. "I have been healing her for the last twenty minutes, and I do not intend to stop now. She needs me, director, and if I have to jump through that hole with her in my arms, I will." 

Steve stepped up between the two of them in an attempt to stop the inevitable fight that was about to begin.

"With all due respect Director, I think he's right. We have nurses... and Banner, but we have no one like  _him_. She'll be safe with him. We can put them in that room where Amelie and I were, and place a few guards outside the doors. If we find anything on the tapes,  _then_ you can split them up. Otherwise, she could die. And you don't want that on your conscience. Not after...nevermind." 

Fury shot Steve a warning look before nodding once. He was still not happy about the arrangement, but Steve had a point. Loki  _was_ the best healer they had. And Amelie was in desperate need of medical attention. 

 

 

Loki was still dissatisfied by the outcome of the conversation though.  _Why_ was Coulson just standing there as if nothing had happened? Why was he allowed to walk free?

"Is no one going to ask  _him_ what happened here? Or are you just going to lock me up again simply because I defended Amelie? Every single person in this room  _knows_ that I did not hurt her, yet no one will admit that it might have been one of  _you_." 

He was pointedly staring at Coulson, and the agent quickly looked away as if he was too afraid to face him. 

Steve finally broke the silence. 

"Well,  _I_ know it wasn't Loki. And Director Fury does too. He just doesn't want to admit it." He paced the floor between Loki, Coulson, and Fury, waiting for Fury's inevitable anger. 

 

It had been a difficult week for Steve. Finding out you were working for a corrupt organization that blamed such violence on anyone but the person responsible had made him want to quit his job and find somewhere else to go.  _This_ was not the reason he'd joined Shield. The only thing that had kept him there that week had been Amelie. He'd only stayed to protect her from Coulson. Now that Loki was out of his cell, and that cell was destroyed, the moment he'd waited for had arrived. He was going to speak his mind. If he lost his job, so be it. He wasn't sure he wanted it anymore anyway. 

 

"I did come in here with Amelie and threaten Loki, but it was only to motivate him to tell me where the Tesseract was... Director Fury told me to find it. I was only doing my job," Coulson said in his usual calm persuasive voice. 

That was the last straw for Steve. He stepped forward, poking Coulson in the chest. 

"So all of that video footage where you were in her room getting her dressed- after she'd screamed for someone to  _stop hurting her_ \- that was Director Fury's orders too? The stab wound on her foot? That was Fury's order? Slashing her stomach with  _your own personal knife_? That was Fury's order? If that's the case, Agent, I think you should file a complaint against your brilliant supervisor. Actually, I think I will too. Especially after I learned that  _all_ of the camera systems in here- even the  _hidden_ ones- have audio." 

Steve turned to look at Fury's face, which had gone stony. "I just have one question for you before I leave Shield for good, Director.  _Why_ are you covering for this abusive lunatic?" 

 

Fury's shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh. "Because I know what he's been through. I know what he has seen. And I  _owe_ him."

 


	15. Chapter 15

Everyone in the room had fallen into an uncomfortable silence after Fury's confession. It seemed to Loki that the metal man had known he was working for a corrupt system, yet didn't really care. However, the soldier was completely taken aback by all of the new information and was having some sort of existential crisis.

As much as Loki loved chaos, he wasn't enjoying the atmosphere at the moment. He'd never actively tried to protect anyone before- anyone besides himself that is. So the fact that Amelie was lying unconscious across his lap while the so-called superheroes and their leader were having a stand-off was disconcerting to say the least. He stayed quiet as he watched every move they made, noticing how Coulson was inching closer and closer to the large hole without anyone else seeing. 

 

"O-kay...so are you going to  _tell_ us why you've allowed him to go around torturing women, completely unchecked? Because I know Amelie can't be the  _only_ one," Steve asked. 

"I would prefer it if we secured our prisoner first. We don't want him getting away, now do we?" 

"Look at him, Director. He's not going anywhere. If he was going to leave, he would have done so already. Instead of fighting Agent Coulson, he would have left Amelie and made a run for it. He's staying here for her. And you're stalling."

Fury looked over at Loki, who was gently brushing Amelie's hair away from her face and glaring at everyone else in the room with suspicious eyes. He supposed Steve was right. He  _was_ stalling. He didn't want Coulson to know the role he'd played in destroying his life. He had hoped Coulson would never find out, but he now knew that was a pipe dream. 

"Agent Coulson and I go way back. You all know about his...cellist. Well, there is something you  _don't_ know. The cellist didn't move to take a better job. The cellist was killed...in Coulson's home." 

There was a collective gasp. Even Loki was surprised by what he heard. He didn't think Coulson was capable of feeling anything but contempt, but evidently his coldness came from heartache. He still didn't feel sorry for the bastard. In fact, if Amelie wasn't currently occupying his lap so beautifully, he would toss Coulson through that hole himself. Men like him didn't deserve to live. 

Coulson noticed how Fury was careful not to use specific pronouns when speaking of Brian. He didn't know whether to be thankful for that or offended.  _Was Fury ashamed of him?_  

"So, why does that give him the right to torture innocent women?" 

Steve was quickly becoming annoyed by the pathetic excuses Fury was spouting.  _He_ had lost someone too. That didn't mean he felt the need to hurt other people. He  _helped_ other people. 

"I didn't  _say_ it gave him the right, Steve. I said I  _owed_ him. There's a difference." 

 

"Why do you owe me? Why are you protecting me? Is it because Shield  _was_ involved in Brian's death?" 

Coulson had decided that he didn't care if everyone knew that his cellist was male. Why should they give a damn if he was gay? It truly was none of their business. Besides, the fact that Fury wouldn't even say his  _name_ was dishonoring the man that Coulson loved.  _He still loved him_. 

He glanced around at Steve, Tony and Loki. No one had even flinched when he'd said Brian's name.  _Perhaps they already knew._  

Fury looked down at his shoes before speaking. He wasn't sure how he would get through the next few seconds, much less Coulson's reaction to his words. 

"Phil," he sighed, "I never wanted to have to tell you this, but Brian was a- well, he was a Hydra sympathizer. He was sent to you to gain as much information about Shield as possible. It just so happened that you fell in love with each other. What Shield did... it was necessary. He would have torn us apart. We never made a move until we caught him sending information back to his teammates. Even then, I tried... I tried  _so_ hard to stop him. I even spoke with him myself. He wouldn't have any part of Shield. Said he'd never join. He could have helped us take down the small gathering of supporters he was working with, but he was too far gone."

"I-- Phil, I'm so sorry." 

Fury hoped Coulson would accept his half-truth and move on. He didn't want to tell  _anyone_ the entire story, especially Agent Coulson. It would destroy him. 

Coulson edged closer to the hole, and this time Fury noticed. "Everyone out. Steve, get Loki and Amelie into that room and stand guard outside the door until I return. Stark- I want you on standby," he gestured to the double doors. 

As soon as the room was clear, Fury held his hands out to Coulson. 

"Phil, come on man. Step away from the hole. It's not that bad. Just...talk to me." 

It was a few moments before Coulson said anything. When he did, he spoke through gritted teeth. 

 _"He never loved me. No one ever did."_  

 

 

Loki carried Amelie into the room where she and Steve had stayed for the last few days. She had drifted in and out of consciousness as Loki tended her wound, but each time her eyes focused on him, he saw the ghost of a smile on her lips. Steve poked his head inside a few times just to make sure they had everything they needed. At first, the intrusion rankled Loki. He didn't want  _anyone_ invading their space. But after the second time when Steve simply nodded at him and closed the door again, he realized that the soldier really was only trying to help. It was a brand new concept to Loki, who'd only ever encountered  _heroes_ who wanted his head. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Amelie finally opened her eyes again. This time, she was lucid. "Loki...you...saved me."

Loki had never felt like a hero- not once in his entire existence had he felt like the person who'd actually  _won_. But hearing Amelie say those words felt better than anything he could have imagined. 

"I guess I did. But how could I  _not_ , darling?" 

"I'm... " she paused for a second, unsure of whether to continue, "actually  _glad_  Coulson did what he did. Otherwise, we would still be apart. I  _missed_ you, Loki." 

Amelie bit her lip, waiting for his response. She was afraid she might have crossed some invisible line between them. After all, neither had  _said_ they had feelings for the other. But she definitely had feelings for him. 

Loki thought about her words for a moment.  _How could she miss someone like me? I basically kidnapped her, then had to restrain myself from hurting her._

"Amelie... I'm afraid I don't understand. You  _know_ what I have done, correct? Yet you still want to be here, in my arms? How is that possible?" 

Then Amelie said something that Loki didn't expect to hear, especially from someone who couldn't  _possibly_ know of his world. 

"That wasn't you. Not the  _real_ you. The real you is... he's the one who held me when I was hurt. The one who kept fighting not to hurt me, even though I could see that you  _wanted_ to. Who else is inside your head, Loki? Who is torturing  _you_?"

 

 

 

Coulson's heels were teetering on the edge of the hole, and Fury was having an internal struggle. Should he call Stark in now and risk Coulson jumping just because he'd done so, or should he wait? 

"Phil... he  _did_ love you. That was the problem. What I told you before...it wasn't the whole truth. I---thought if I told you he was hell bent, then maybe you would--- nevermind, it's not important."

Fury sighed in resignation. He would have to tell Agent Coulson the truth. No matter how much it hurt him to do so. 

"You see, his bosses were getting impatient because he had become very slow in sending his reports. He didn't want to do his job anymore. Shield was monitoring the situation... we even tried to offer him protection, but he was too proud to take it. Phil, they were coming for him anyway. And if we had let him live, they would have killed you too." 

Agent Coulson's dead eyes leveled with Fury's. He was standing completely motionless, which both comforted and scared Fury.  _He could fall at any moment_. 

"You should have let them." 

At that moment, Fury watched almost as if in slow motion as Coulson held his arms out to his sides and leaned back just far enough to send him over the ledge. 

"Stark!  _Now!_ " 

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Steve wasn't concerned for Amelie's safety while she was locked inside the room with Loki. He knew she was safer there than anywhere else on the helicarrier. But he kept having these  _feelings_ every time he poked his head inside to make sure they didn't need anything. Feelings he couldn't quite identify.

Loki was still holding Amelie; tending her wounds in a way that only he could. His powers were quite remarkable- when he used them for good. It was the way Amelie looked at him. The way he looked at her. The way his hand brushed her hair; so gently, as if she were made of china and he was afraid the smallest motion would break her. Steve knew they were in love.  _Just like Peggy and I were, but there was no time for us._ Though he felt the sting of jealousy, especially since he'd grown so fond of Amelie himself, he vowed right then to make sure Loki and Amelie had their time. That what had happened to him wouldn't happen to them.

The parallel was not lost on him- Amelie would age in the course of just a few of Loki's heartbeats, and it would all be over. Almost  _exactly_ as it was happening with Peggy. He was still so young, while she lay old and weary. He idly wondered if Loki had the emotional fortitude to watch her wither away. It wasn't easy. He knew from experience. 

 

 

 

"Cap, we need your help. Just lock the door from the outside and leave them. We have a much bigger issue to tend to," Fury whispered shakily, interrupting Steve's dark thoughts. 

"Uh, yeah. What-- what's up?" 

Fury didn't answer, but Steve followed him to a hallway that contained empty cells where less formidible prisoners were usually kept. 

" _Why did you catch me, dammit? I wanted to die! What do I have left to live for?"_ The voice came from the very end of the hallway, and Steve had a feeling he knew who it belonged to. 

"Is that...?" Fury nodded solemnly. "What happened? Did he actually jump?" Another nod. 

"Shit."

Fury looked at Steve; completely taken aback. He shook his head, and Steve thought he saw the smallest quirk of his lip. _"Language."_

Then, as if it hadn't happened at all, the weariness returned to Fury's face.  

"Listen, Cap. I'm all out of words right now. Can you speak with him? He's... not well. And you just happen to be the best counselor we have. Stark certainly can't handle this." Steve almost laughed, but remembered where he was. 

"I'll do my best, sir. And listen, Amelie is safe. Loki is... gentle with her. Please just let them be for now." 

Fury thought for a moment, then nodded once more. "If you say they're okay, then I guess I trust your judgment." 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you going to answer my question?" 

Loki froze. He wasn't sure if he  _should_ tell her about the voice; not because he didn't think she'd believe him, but because of what the Other might do. He already  _knew_  how strong that voice could be.  _Could he make me hurt her?_ He couldn't risk it. 

"Amelie, my past is... complicated. You don't know me. You may  _think_ you do, but you don't. I'm not even sure I still know myself. I'm dangerous-- violent, even. I guess I just didn't want to hurt you. You don't deserve it. I'm not the one who was tortured."

She gave him a look that he knew meant she didn't buy it.  _Any_ of it. 

"Loki-- I don't even know your last name, or I'd use it right now... You're lying. You _are_  being tortured. Not in the same way I was, but it's there nonetheless. I want to  _help_ you. I want that so badly," she moaned desperately. 

Loki wanted to stand. To pace the room while he considered his options. But he didn't want to let go of her. She was so warm and soft pressed against his eternally cold body. She was also too clever; far too perceptive for her own good. 

"Odins--- No. No, it's Laufeyson. My surname is Laufeyson...and you already have helped, love. Since I've been this close to you, I haven't had any more...incidents. Possibly because I've fought so hard to protect you."

Amelie's face grew even more suspicious before she unleashed a barage of questions that made Loki's head swim.

 

 

 

 

 

"Agent Coulson, you don't deserve any of this. You...you were betrayed, and now you're suffering from some type of psychological disorder. We can _fix_ this," Steve pleaded, not believing his own words. 

Steve was still extremely angry at Coulson for his actions. He was angry because Coulson had done something completely unforgivable to Amelie. He was angry because Fury had tried to blame Loki, knowing that Coulson was the _real_ perpetrator. That alone had made Steve lose faith in the organization he had been recruited into. He was angry that, because of Coulson, he had to watch Loki and Amelie fall in love-- and long for that himself.  

Fury and Coulson were both well aware that Steve had lost Bucky so long ago. They were also very aware that Steve  _hadn't_ gone on a murderous rampage like he'd wanted to do. He wouldn't be human if he hadn't had the urge.  _Anyone_ would have wanted to  _hurt_ someone after feeling that kind of pain. But only a complete sadist would actually  _act_ on that urge. 

"You don't even believe yourself, Cap. You know I'm fucked up. You know I can't be  _cured_. I want to know why Fury's thugs had to kill Brian  _in our home!_ Why did they have to leave his body for  _me to find?_ Why did I have to  _listen_ as he died such a brutal death?  _WHY?_ " 

Coulson banged his fist against the protective glass in a very  _Loki_ way. 

"I-- I don't know, Phil. That is something you will have to ask him." 

 

 

 

 

"Why did you almost say something else? Did you used to have a different last name? Where are you from?"

These were questions Loki didn't exactly feel like answering at the moment, but Amelie deserved to know at least a few tiny details about the man who was holding her. He sighed in resignation, knowing there would be more complicated questions after he answered these. He wasn't sure he could handle them. 

"As I said before, my life has been... complicated. I grew up thinking I was Odin's son. But in reality I am not. I am... Laufey's son." He grimaced involuntarily as he said the name. "Hence the name  _Laufeyson_. I came here from Asgard." 

Loki hoped she would be satisfied with his answers, but unfortunately for him, she seemed even more intrigued and asked several more questions. 

"But...  _why_ did you think you were Odin's son? Wait! Odin? As in, _the_  Odin? You  _grew up_   _thinking you were his son?_ But...what changed? How did you find out you weren't  _his?_ And...what's wrong with being Laufey's son? Who is he?" 

Loki sighed deeply. He couldn't do this. It was all just too much. The sudden pain in his chest was too great. She was so innocent; so unaffected by everything that had torn his entire life apart. He couldn't decide how he felt about that. Did he even want to burden her with the details of his messy existence? Or should he just let her go? 

The thought of letting her go hurt worse than the thought of opening the Pandora's box of father issues he had locked away inside his dark heart. 

Amelie must have noticed his sudden change of mood because she reached out to stroke his cheek. "Loki...no. It's okay. I'm sorry. I-- I was just curious, that's all. Please, forget I asked. I can see it was the wrong thing to say." 

"It's alright love. I... I just have to find a way to explain it all. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the answers to those questions, so you deserve to know." 

 

 

 

Fury came to relieve Steve about an hour later, and Steve could see it would be a difficult visit. He decided staying close by would be for the best, even though he really wanted to check on Loki and Amelie. He didn't want anyone bothering them. They deserved to have their privacy after the debacle they'd been through. 

" _Why, Fury?_ Why did Shield have to kill him  _in our home?_ " 

Fury's face betrayed him. He had known Coulson would ask that question, and he did not have a good lie prepared. He hunched his shoulders as if preparing for Coulson's inevitable attack. 

"We had to make it look like random thugs. We never wanted you to know, Phil. Obviously, we failed." 

"I listened while your men  _tore my lover to shreds, Nick! I listened while he wailed in pain. I knew he was dead when those screams stopped._ Did you not think that would  _fuck me up too?"_

"And now I find out that he- he- he  _wanted_ to stop. He  _wanted_ to love me. He _did_ love me! He was the  _only one who ever loved me!_ And you killed him. You could have forced him under Shield protection! I know how it works! Instead, you slaughtered him and  _made me listen!_ FUCK YOU, NICK. Get  _out. Just get out of here!"_

 

 

 

 

Fury knew that continuing to speak with Coulson was not going to be productive. When he turned to leave, he was surprised to see that Steve was still standing in the hall.

"So why  _didn't_ you just force Brian under Shield protection if he really did love Phil? I mean, he could have been useful to you. Eventually he would have gotten over his arrogance and realized that you saved his life. You forced Bruce to come here. You practically blackmailed Natasha. It was Shield or death for her...And yes, I know  _Clint_ made that decision, but not without your influence. So why? What was your motive, Director?" 

Fury didn't speak for a long time, and Steve knew it was because he was steeling himself for something big. 

"I thought Coulson needed a push. He was unmotivated. He didn't seem too concerned with Hydra's influence. I thought that if...if he--" 

"You  _created_ him," Steve said, pointing down the hallway. "You  _made_ him into that monster! You gave him a push, alright. You deserve everything he gives you in return." 

Steve was so disgusted, he stormed away from Fury even though the director was calling after him.

Steve decided right then that when he was sure Amelie and Loki had made their escape, he was  _out_. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

When Steve was sure that everyone on the helicarrier was tucked away in their respective sleeping quarters, he left his own and went to the room where Loki and Amelie were staying. Two burly guards were stationed outside the doors, but they didn't pay him any mind. He was  _Captain America_ , after all. The implications of that title made him roll his eyes, especially after all he'd learned about Shield. The guards still wanted to know what his business was, but he knew they would let him pass. He simply told them that he had been charged with checking up on Loki from time to time. It wasn't a lie. Not really.

He stood just inside the doorway for a moment, watching Loki and Amelie. They were lying together on the couch; Loki's arms tightly wrapped around Amelie's small body. Steve couldn't help noticing that Loki had placed her on the inside- so that he was between the door and her. He couldn't understand how Fury still believed Loki would hurt her. It was obvious Loki would kill anyone who tried to touch this woman. 

 _"Loki,"_ he whispered, trying to get the god's attention without waking Amelie as well.

Loki laughed in the darkness.  

"You don't have to yell, soldier. I heard your footsteps coming down the hallway." 

Steve shifted from foot to foot and chuckled nervously. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you. I just needed to talk to you while no one else was around to overhear. Loki-- I want to help you. I want to help you and Amelie escape." 

This statement earned Steve a withering glare of disbelief from Loki, who still couldn't fathom why  _anyone_ was on his side. 

"It's just that...if Fury has any control over this, he'll make sure you are separated again. I don't want to see that happen." 

"I'm listening," Loki muttered, though he clearly thought Steve was up to something. 

 

 

 

 

Steve let out a huff of frustration. Negotiating with someone like Loki was  _exhausting_ , but it was also disheartening. He finally had someone on his side, and he didn't even know it. Steve wondered how long Loki had suffered the betrayals of others. Had Thor betrayed him? Did he have any real friends on Asgard before this little incident?

He knew that what he was doing would make him a criminal- most likely a fugitive- but he also knew that Fury wasn't planning to give Loki a fair trial. Fury saw Loki's potential just as well as Steve did, and he wanted to use it for _his_  own ends. 

"I know you've thought of at least fifty different ways to get out of here by now. Pick one. And tell me what else you need me to do." 

Just as Steve started to walk out the door, Loki managed to shove his pride to the side. 

"Find a way to get rid of that damn scepter. Otherwise, it will fall right back into my hands. I can't stop it."

"Wait. Don't you  _need_ that? Isn't it important?" 

" _No_. Don't bring that thing anywhere near me. If you do..." Loki glanced at Amelie, "I don't know  _what_ might happen." 

The look of defeat on Loki's face made Steve feel almost sorry for the god. It was obvious he hadn't wanted to ask for help, but something about that scepter made him do it. 

"Consider it done. I don't know how, but I'll find a way. Anything else?" 

Loki looked down at Amelie again, who was still sleeping soundly, his face softening. "Bring her violin to her. She misses it." 

"That one's easy. I'll be right back." 

 

 

 

 

 

While Steve was gone, Loki did his best to fold his big body around Amelie's once more without jarring her awake. The couch was too small for him alone, but with both of them, he was hanging off of it. He didn't mind though. Sharing the space with her was infinitely better than being alone in his cell. He still couldn't understand why such a sweet girl would allow him anywhere in her vicinity. Yet she continued to let him get closer and closer. 

Loki's mind wandered to earlier that evening when he'd been trying to get comfortable in the chair by the door. He had insisted that Amelie take the couch since her body was still healing and she needed rest much more than he did. His heart had nearly stopped when she'd pleaded with him to  _move closer_ to her. 

_"I know you won't be comfortable but will you...sleep next to me? I--feel safer when you're close."_

He'd wasted no time curling up on the couch with her, making sure not to hurt her in the process. He tried, and failed, to hide the grin on his face when she had let out a contented sigh as he wrapped his arms around her. 

_"Did you feel safe with...him?"_

_"Who?"_

_"The soldier...Steve."_

_"I-- I didn't feel unsafe, but... you make me feel...different. Protected."_

 

He kept going over those words in his mind. She felt safer with  _him_. How could that  _be?_ He was the trickster; the object of everyone's ire; the one everyone blamed when things went wrong. How could she possibly feel safe with him? 

Amelie had her back pressed against him, and her hair spilled over her shoulder onto his chest. Sleep was not going to return to him, so he simply lay there and enjoyed the feel of her pressed so tightly against him. Unfortunately, it was difficult for him not to entertain less innocent thoughts while she was this close. He'd never felt an ounce of guilt for fantasizing about a woman before, but now he felt ashamed of himself. He couldn't help imagining how she would look while he pleasured her. 

Loki shook his head to clear it. The evidence of his wandering thoughts was beginning to strain against his pants, and he certainly didn't want her to feel it. 

Never in his life had he attempted to hide his arousal from a woman. And she was  _sleeping_. He didn't even recognize himself anymore. Was this what real love felt like? He really didn't know. 

 

 

 

 

 

Steve stealthily walked through the hallways until he found Amelie's old room. He figured in all of the chaos, her things had been left there and forgotten by everyone but her. He idly wondered why no one had bothered to gather her clothing for her, instead giving her mismatched items that Shield had acquired over the years. That is, until he started to search her room. 

There was nothing. Nothing besides a violin case. Steve gingerly opened the case, making sure the latches were right-side up. He wanted to be absolutely  _sure_ her instrument was inside before bringing the case back to Loki. He sighed in relief when he saw the violin securely seated in its velvet nest. But just before he closed the lid, something fluttered down from the top of the case, landing on top of the strings. 

It was a photograph of three people; a man, woman, and child who bore a striking resemblance to Amelie, but its edges were blackened as if burned with a lighter. The odd sensation in Steve's gut made him hastily push the photo back into the top of the case and close the lid. He didn't want Amelie to think he'd been spying on her; or worse, searching her things as if she were a criminal. 

But that photo...Steve couldn't get it out of his mind. Who were those people? Why was the photo inside her case? And why were the edges of it so badly marred?

 

 

 

Loki finally drifted back to sleep for a while after Steve delivered Amelie's violin. He had begrudgingly thanked the soldier, silently wishing he'd been the one to fetch the instrument for her. It was trivial, he knew, but he couldn't help feeling jealous. However, when Amelie woke and saw the case sitting in the chair beside the door, she let out a yelp of excitement that both woke him up and wiped the bitter feelings away immediately. 

"Loki! Oh my God! You got my violin!" 

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Loki sat up and rubbed his face. 

"I suppose I did, love. Well, it wasn't really--" 

He was about to say  _me_ when Amelie threw her arms around him and kissed him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Loki was just about to open his mouth to speak when Amelie's soft lips landed on his own.

For a moment, he froze; her arms wrapped around his neck and her lips pressed against his. Every time he had been alone with her- every time he had been close enough to really  _look_ at her face, his gaze had drifted to those lips. And now they were exactly where he wanted them. When he finally willed his body to move, he reached one hand up to gently thread his fingers in her hair. His other hand grasped at her waist, slowly pulling her closer to him. As her body melded into his, her lips parted, allowing his tongue to trace each of them in turn. 

He couldn't help feeling a sense of pride when he felt Amelie gasp against his mouth. Her fingers dug into the back of his neck, gently pulling his hair and making him long for more of her. 

 _"Loki_ _,"_ she breathed almost into his mouth; her sweet breath making him feel dizzy with  _need_. 

Never had a woman said his name with such reverence before. He'd heard them scream his name. He'd heard them curse him. But he had never heard anyone caress his name in such a loving way. 

When they finally broke apart, Amelie's cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen. She looked even more beautiful than usual, and Loki held her face in his hands. 

"You kissed me back," she whispered, smiling. 

Loki sighed. 

"I lied to you, Amelie. When I told you that-- that I cared if I  _hurt_ you because I didn't want to be blamed for harming another mortal. The truth is..." He took a deep breath, steadying himself. "The truth is, I--- Amelie, I care about you.  _No_. I think I love you."

Loki was too afraid of her response to continue to look at her, so he dropped his head into his hands. He hadn't wanted to tell her another lie, so he decided to just tell her the whole truth. He wasn't entirely sure what love felt like; not romantic love anyway. So, the best he could do was to tell her he  _thought_ he loved her. 

Tiny fingers began pulling his hands away from his face, and he looked up to see her staring at him with tears in her eyes. 

"Why are you hiding from me now?"

"I've never said that to anyone. All I know is that I have never had these feelings before, so..."

"Loki?"

"Yes?"

His face was pinched; waiting for her seemingly inevitable rejection, but she simply smiled at him. 

"I think I love you too." 

 

 

 

 

Steve had  _no_ idea how he would get rid of Loki's scepter. He didn't even know if it was possible. All he knew is that Loki seemed almost  _afraid_ of it, and if  _Loki_ was afraid of it, it didn't need to be on the planet. To Steve, the thing looked like one of the Hydra weapons from World War II, but when he'd voiced that opinion, Stark and Fury had both dismissed his idea. He hadn't been around to witness Barton or Selvig's transformation, so he wasn't quite sure how the weapon worked, but he hoped it couldn't be used by just anyone. 

As he made his way toward the lab where Tony and Bruce were working, he wondered if either of them had even looked at the scepter. Tony was so arrogant, he probably just assumed he knew what the thing was made of and went on with his life. Steve didn't know how he would get it away from the lab or more importantly, how Tony would react to his presence after the drama in Loki's cell. He hoped Tony would greet him as a friend, but unfortunately, that was not the case. 

"Here he is. Loki's newest recruit! I know he didn't hit you with the scepter because it's been sitting here the entire time. So, what happened, Cap?" Tony yelled snarkily as Steve walked into the lab. 

"Shut it, Tony. We both know he didn't hurt her, so he didn't deserve to take the blame for it."

"What are you doing here? Have you come to stick your  _perfect_ nose in our project, see if we're doing anything you don't approve of?" 

Steve was having a hard time ignoring Tony's aggressive tone, but he knew if he challenged him, they would end up in a fight. 

"Actually, I wanted to take a look at that scepter. It's been seventy years, but as I said before, it reminds me of a Hydra weapon, and I want to know more." 

Tony scoffed at Steve, knowing he didn't have much experience with modern technology. 

"Look, don't touch. Then leave." 

"Hey what's the problem, Tony? Cap just wants a look at it," Bruce muttered without looking up from the data he'd collected. 

"The deal is...Cap here has decided that _Loki_... is the good guy. And  _we're_ the bad guys."

 Steve tried not to take the bait. He really did. He just couldn't  _not_ defend himself when Tony was so obviously misguided about his motivation for standing up for Loki. 

"Tony, you  _know_ that isn't the case. You're being very dramatic. I never said  _we_ were the bad guys. I just know he didn't hurt Amelie, and I knew that if someone didn't find out who  _was_ hurting her, that person would  _continue_ hurting her. Is that what you wanted? For Coulson to keep torturing her while Loki was being blamed for it?" 

Bruce seemed completely out of the loop because he finally looked up with wide eyes.

"Coulson was _torturing_ that girl?"

Steve nodded without giving Tony a glance.

"To what ends? Did she have information? I mean, not that it matters... that's not something we _do_ ," Bruce added as an afterthought. 

"Said he was trying to find out the location of the Tesseract."

Steve didn't continue. He didn't think it would be very professional of him to include the dirty details of Coulson's past, or the fact that Coulson was essentially torturing passengers because of it. Bruce would find out on his own eventually. Steve already had enough on his mind without spreading unnecessary gossip.  

 

 

 

 

Amelie lay on the couch with her head in Loki's lap; his long fingers stroking her scalp. They'd spent at least half of the afternoon wrapped in each others' arms, kissing and imagining all of the other things they wanted to do, but had stopped when they realized where they were. 

 _"Amelie_ , _"_ Loki had said, breathing heavily as she nipped and sucked at his neck,  _"_ I don't want to do this here. I _want_  to- Norns I want you so badly- but not here."

He reluctantly took her chin between his fingers to stop her before continuing to speak. He didn't think he control himself otherwise. 

 _"_ Do you think they would even notice? _"_ Amelie asked, speaking of the guards outside their room.

 _"_ It's not that, love. I want to make love to you. You may not understand this, but I've had many sexual experiences; none of which were special in any way. But I've never made love to anyone. And unlike everything else I've ever done, I want to do that right...for you."

"That may be the sexiest thing I've ever heard," Amelie whispered. "But what if we  _never_ get out of here, Loki? I don't want to die a- a..."

She stopped abruptly; blushing a deep crimson. 

"A what? You mean you're...Wait, how  _old_ are you, Amelie? You must have had  _some_ experience."

 

Amelie was so embarrassed, she had her hands over her face. She shook her head slowly, trying to keep herself from crying. It was all so  _humiliating_. She wished she hadn't said anything.  _But he would have found out at some point_. 

Loki was staring at her as if she were an oddity- like he was genuinely confused by her admission. She briefly wondered how old  _he_ was. Surely he wasn't much older than her. 

"I'm twenty-six. And no...I haven't. It's a long story, okay? I'm sorry I said anything. You don't have to  _educate_ me or anything. I know you're probably not interested anymore." 

 

It was then that Loki realized his mistake. He hadn't meant to hurt her feelings or humiliate her. 

"Oh Amelie, no. No, no, no. I-- " He paused, not knowing how to continue without making the situation even more uncomfortable. "I'm not sure how to say this. Darling, it would be an honor to...how did you put it... _educate_ you. It's just difficult to understand how a woman as beautiful as you are isn't already taken... _married_ , I mean." 

"I just...didn't have time." 

She started to open her violin case, and Loki was afraid she was shutting him out. Then she held up a photograph that she'd pulled from the lid. It was dirty; torn, burnt around the edges, and smudged with grey, but he recognized the girl in the photo. It was her. 

"This is my family. Or it  _was_. Minus my brother, who was away at University at the time."

Loki studied the photo before asking the inevitable question. 

 

"What happened to them, Amelie?" 

She pointed to the burn marks around the edges of the photo, then pointed out similar ones on her violin case that he'd never noticed before. 

"They died when our apartment building burned to the ground. The only things that survived were me, this photo, and my father's violin. That was seven years ago. I was nineteen. Since then, I've been living on other people's couches; surviving from gig to gig. Thank god my dad taught me a skill when I was a child, or I would be dead by now. I would have starved. Everyone claims to care about children, but after they've reached eighteen no one gives a damn. Trust me." 

"Norns."

It was all Loki could say. He knew the feeling of homelessness, but he also knew that if he had  _wanted_ to stay in Asgard, he could have. Amelie had no choice but to face her existence the way it was. 

"How old were you when this photo was taken? You weren't nineteen here."

"I was twelve. Dad and I had just had a violin lesson, and our family friend took this picture. He lived in the building too."

Loki's chest ached looking at the little girl in the picture who had no idea her life would change so drastically in just a few years' time. It was like looking in the mirror and seeing himself from just two years ago. How many times had he wanted to just yell at his former self?  _You feel different for a reason! They treat you differently for a reason!_

"Amelie, I'm so sorry love. I swear to you, you will never spend another night wondering where you'll sleep. I'm going to make sure of that."


	19. Chapter 19

After careful examination of the scepter- and a few more arguments with Tony- Steve sighed to himself and left the lab. He would need to come back after Bruce and Tony were gone, but he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to honor the promise he'd made to Loki after all. That scepter was well made- and it didn't  _want_ to be unmade. There were only a few people who might be able to help him, and they would be difficult to coerce, especially if they thought it would somehow help Loki. 

As he made his way toward Loki and Amelie's room, he thought about the small list of people who  _might_ be capable of getting rid of the offending object:

Tony, though his iron suit may not be strong enough to break the stone that powered the spear.  _And he wouldn't be willing to do it anyway_.

Thor- obviously that hammer of his could do some major damage, but could it do  _enough_?  _And would_ he _be willing to help?_  

Steve couldn't even bring himself to  _think_ about the next possiblity. It was  _far_ too dangerous to everyone onboard the hellicarrier. Plus, he didn't know if  _that_ possibility would even pan out in the end. 

And Loki himself, who'd said he didn't want Steve to bring the scepter  _anywhere near him_. 

 _Why was Loki so afraid of his own weapon?_ Steve vowed right then to find out the answer to that question before he proceeded with his mission. 

 

 

 

"Where is your brother? You mentioned he was at University when you...lost your parents."

Loki knew he wasn't very good with words unless he was talking his way out of trouble or working a crowd of subservient mortals, so he chose his words carefully so as not to upset Amelie. She looked up at him questioningly, but without hostiliy or hurt in her eyes, and he sighed inwardly. 

"He...well, he never came back." 

"What? You mean he doesn't  _know_?" 

She shook her head adamently. "Oh, he knows. He just doesn't care. You see, Christoph was adopted, and my parents made the mistake of allowing him to believe he was their biological son- until he was applying for colleges. They require immunizations and blood tests these days, and..."

"I think I know where you're going with this, Amelie. He found out on his own. And he was angry, hurt, and depressed. He felt as though his entire life was a lie. They had betrayed him. They had lied to him his entire life, so they  _must not love him_. And so...he left. He cast himself out." 

Amelie looked at Loki in shock. "H-how did you know all of that? That is almost  _exactly_ what he told me when I tried to reach out to him after they passed away. I needed him, and he just...turned me away." 

Loki took her hand to soften the blow that he was about to deliver. 

"Because love, I suffered the same fate. Only I was  _stolen_ from my home realm. I'm not even Asgardian. I grew up thinking I was born to be a king  _because they told me I was_. I spent over a thousand years trying to be the perfect son so that I could one day become king of Asgard, not realizing that I lacked the most basic characteristic needed for such an honor; not realizing that I was actually part of the enemy race. When I found out, I confronted my  _adoptive_ father only to learn that I was taken as a pawn in one of his political schemes. He never really loved me. I was just a tool. So I did exactly what your brother did. I cast myself out so they no longer had to deal with the flawed son they never wanted in the first place." 

Amelie didn't have time to ask any questions because they were interrupted by a knock at the door. 

"Steve," Loki muttered. "Everyone has a very specific knock," he said, answering her curious eyes. He felt a bit silly being proud that she looked impressed by such a ridiculously easy skill. Rolling his eyes at himself, he stood to open the door. 

 

 

 

"Sorry for bothering you two. I, um... can I have a moment?" 

 _Nervous_ didn't even begin to describe how Steve felt at that moment. Telling Loki he didn't think he could complete the mission he'd been given was going to be difficult enough, but surviving his reaction might be impossible. He was beginning to trust the god, but he also knew that Loki was ready to get away from Shield, and bad news was not something he took lightly. 

"You look concerned, soldier. Is there something wrong?" 

Loki  _looked_ calm- his posture was relaxed, he was leaning to one side just slightly. So Steve decided to just tell him the truth. 

"Loki, I'm going to be honest with you. I've been down in the lab...examining your scepter, and I-- I just don't know how I'm going to destroy it. It's not as if we can just throw it in a dumpster and walk away. It needs to be melted down. Or flattened. Or  _eaten_. I'm sorry. Do you have any idea how to get rid of it?" 

Steve let out a sigh. It wasn't relief; not yet. He was still very much afraid of Loki's reaction. It was a sigh of defeat. 

Loki tilted his head to the side; his face etched with something Steve couldn't quite place.  _Oh no... here it comes. Wrath._

"What is a-- 'dumpster'?"

Steve couldn't stop the nervous chuckle that bubbled up from his chest, and he could see from Loki's face that he should have tried  _much_ harder to do so. 

"Is that  _funny_ , mortal? You come here to tell me that you are basically  _useless_ , and then you have the audacity to laugh at me when I don't understand your terminology for Midgardian objects?" 

Loki was stalking toward Steve like a panther assessing its prey when Steve heard Amelie's quiet, almost sing-song voice from behind the door. 

 

 

 

"Loki? What's wrong?" 

It was as if someone had thrown a switch inside the god's brain. Suddenly, his entire demeanor changed as soon as he heard her voice. He shook his head like a child attempting to clear an etch-a-sketch, then turned to look at her as she approached them. 

"I-- I don't know."

"Exactly how much did you _handle_ that scepter, soldier?"

"A fair amount. Why?"

Loki didn't answer. He just stood there, lost in thought.  

Amelie reached out to touch his arm, and he nodded to Steve, indicating he should come inside the room. Steve was concerned to say the very least. Loki had seemed very... _Loki_ just moments ago, and now suddenly he wasn't. Nevertheless, he closed the door behind him and sat in the chair furthest from the god, hoping he could make a quick escape if the need arose. 

 

 

After a few seconds of total silence, Steve couldn't stand it anymore, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. 

"It's a large garbage receptacle..."

Loki cocked his head to the side, frowning. 

"You, uh, wanted to know what a dumpster was." 

For a moment, Loki said nothing, but Steve could see the wheels turning inside the god's mind. He wasn't sure whether Loki was storing the knowledge for later or putting together another really sophisticated insult for him. 

"Ah. So, you need these tiny bins for your waste as well as those large  _dumpsters_? You mortals create an awful lot of refuse."

"Well, we use these little ones inside, and then... you know what, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry I laughed earlier. I was actually afraid you would be angry that I couldn't destroy the scepter, and when you asked that question..." 

"Soldier-- Steve, that scepter cannot continue to exist. It is a link between myself and- and-"  

Steve watched as Loki struggled to speak. It was as if something or some _one_ was stopping him. He began to pant; beads of sweat forming on his face, and finally he clutched at his throat, gasping for air. 

"Loki! Just stop! Stop trying to speak!" Amelie yelled. "It's not worth it!" 

She grasped his shoulders in an attempt to connect with him, but he was already far away. His eyes were an icy blue, and the pained expression on his face told her that he wouldn't be placing a shield between them this time. This time _he_  would get hurt. 

 _"Loki!? Please, let him go!"_  

Steve watched as Amelie yelled at the ceiling; at the air around them. He had no clue who she could be talking to.  _Were they both mad?_  

Loki fell over in a heap on the floor, curling himself into a fetal position and groaning loudly. His face was pinched like a man in extreme pain- but from  _what_? 

Steve reached out a hand to touch Amelie's arm. "What is going on here? Tell me what's happening to him."

 

 

 

 

_Did you really think you could get away with this, Asgardian?_

Everything the Other said was punctuated by another psychic blow to Loki's head- in the same place Thanos had managed to crack his skull. 

 _What were you planning to do? Tell the mortal that you hear voices? One_ specific _voice? It's not as if they don't already think you're mad. 'That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him!' Yes, I believe that was the phrase. Maybe it is...after what he did to you._

It wasn't easy to crack a Frost Giant's skull. And it wasn't easy to heal either. Loki had been incapacitated for weeks after he had outright refused the mission Thanos thrust upon him. Incapacitated, but still forced to do whatever Thanos wanted. The threat of a slow, painful death will make even suicidal men suffer through torturous pain just to avoid it. In the end, he knew the titan would kill him if he didn't agree to the mission, so here he was being tortured again for trying to stop him.

_If you so much as utter one more word about the scepter to any of them, he will kill you. Slowly. He will make you beg for death._

 

 

 

Loki's head throbbed. He didn't think he could open his eyes. He felt that if he moved, he would surely die from the blinding pain. But he heard her voice. Amelie's voice. She was telling Steve what she  _believed_ was happening to him. And she was  _right_. She'd somehow known all along. 

"Steve, he doesn't  _want_ this. I know everyone else here thinks Loki wants to take over our planet, but that's just not him. He's being manipulated. Tortured, even. But whatever, or  _whomever_ is doing it is  _inside his head_. I...I think it has to do with that scepter. He's terrified of it."

She was kneeling beside him; her hands gently resting on his body. Her voice trembled, and Loki thought he heard her sniffling as she spoke.  _Don't cry love. Not for me._ He tried to open his eyes- to let her know he was okay, but the tiniest crack in his eyelids made his head pound all over again. He settled for reaching a weak hand up to take hers. 

 

 

"We have to get rid of that thing. Now." Steve said. 

"Who can help, though? Tony is out. Obviously Bruce could  _do_ it, but that's a last resort. What about Thor?" 

"Stay here and take care of him. Maybe Thor would help if he saw this."

 

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

Even though Loki was still in pain, he couldn't help the amusement he felt when Amelie refused to let Thor near him. He'd been lying in the floor when the soldier returned with his  _brother_ in tow, still unable to open his eyes more than a crack. 

"Are you certain this isn't just another one of my brother's tricks?"

Amelie's eyes had flashed to Steve's face just before she launched herself at Thor in Loki's defense. It was like watching a gnat try to body slam a gorilla. 

"Can't you see that he is in  _pain?_ " She screamed at him as her tiny fists hit his breastplate, boucing off harmlessly. Thor looked down at her, completely unconcerned with her anger and began to walk toward Loki. 

"Well, we need to make sure it isn't an illusion before--" 

" _No! You will not touch him!_ " She stood in front of Loki; arms spread wide as if she could stop the Asgardian wrecking ball in front of her. 

 When Thor tried to move her aside, she knelt beside Loki, draping herself over him so that his brother couldn't get any closer without going  _through_ her. 

It was then that he finally stopped and took notice of the tiny woman who was so protective of his wayward brother. Her brows were knit together in anger and frustration, and she was trembling from head to toe, but he knew right then that this mortal was not to be messed with. 

 

"You must be Loki's violinist..."

"And  _you_ must be his- well, I  _guess_ you're his brother. But why is this the first time you've come to see him since he's been here? Why didn't you come to check on him before now? I mean, I understand that he's adopted, and you call yourself his brother, but you certainly don't  _act_ like family.

By the way, my  _name_ is Amelie. Loki may call me  _his_ violinist, but I would appreciate it if you called me by my name."

Thor chuckled, then reached out to take Amelie's hand. He had every intention of kissing it and offering his apologies as he would have done with any maiden he had offended in Asgard, but she simply snatched it away. 

"My sincerest apologies, lady Amelie. I have no ill intent toward Loki. However, you must understand that he does this quite frequently."

Amelie continued to glare at him; hands on her hips, her jaw jutted forward in a move he had seen many times from Loki himself. 

"What do you mean ' _he does this quite frequently'?_ You mean he falls over in terrible pain on a regular basis? He grasps at his throat, completely unable to breathe or even open his eyes? That sounds troubling. Perhaps you should have had this  _frequent_ behavior checked out before now!" 

Thor could see that he was in a losing battle against this tiny human, so he turned and walked to the nearest chair, plopping down with a sigh. 

"Tell me what happened. It is obvious that whatever my brother has done..."

" _Don't you get it? He didn't_ do _anything!_ Something or some _one_ is torturing him through that scepter, and  _we_ have to find a way to get rid of it! Sweet  _mother_ you are dense!" 

 

Steve could understand both of their concerns, but he was growing tired of their bickering. So he decided to take charge of the situation before it spiraled out of control. 

"Alright, that's enough. Amelie- Thor is only trying to make sure Loki isn't pulling some kind of prank," he turned to Thor, " _Which he isn't,_ by the way. I watched the whole thing. And Thor, Amelie is...well, Loki and Amelie are...in love. She's not just his, um, violinist." 

For whatever reason, each time someone said  _"Loki's violinist"_ when referring to Amelie, Steve felt extremely uncomfortable. Mostly because before he'd actually met Amelie, he thought they were all using some kind of euphemism. Now that he knew she was an  _actual_ violinist, he felt badly for thinking Loki was receiving conjugal visits. 

When Steve's face returned to its normal color, he sat down next to Thor and proceeded to explain the situation to him. He hoped Thor would help him destroy the scepter because if he didn't, Steve didn't know who else to ask. 

 

Loki lay perfectly still while the three of them talked about him. Thor immediately thought he was doing something nefarious, which really wasn't surprising. Loki supposed he should blame himself, but even though Loki  _had_ been mischievous as a child, he knew Thor wouldn't have given him a chance anyway. Even if Loki had been the perfect brother- the perfect son that Odin had always wanted- Thor would still treat him in exactly the same manner. With suspicion. 

Steve explained the situation with the scepter while Thor made pig-like humming noises, and Amelie interjected with sweet words of worry for him. Loki couldn't help the tiny smile that spread across his face each time he heard her voice. It was like a balm to his battered soul.  

He might have felt badly about eavesdropping on their conversation if Thor hadn't been in the room. But when that oaf came into the picture, all bets were off. He knew he couldn't trust his older  _brother_ , especially around the Avengers. As far as Loki was concerned, Thor had become a traitor to him the moment he was brought onto the helicarrier. 

 

"So you're saying we have to get the scepter away from Stark and Banner so we can destroy it? How?" Thor asked, quickly becoming annoyed at Steve. 

"That's the problem. I don't know. Stark is already angry with me over the deal with Coulson. He barely let me get within a few feet of the thing. And then when I came back in here with Loki, I think...as crazy as this sounds...I think it may have affected him." 

"Affected him, how? You mean you think  _you_ affected him after being around it?"

Steve was hesitant to answer Thor because he knew just how insane he sounded, but he remembered the wild way Loki had looked at him when he'd entered the room after examining the scepter. Up until that moment, Loki had been fairly docile with him, but Steve had been afraid of him for a few long seconds while standing in the doorway. 

"I think it...rubbed off on me somehow. I don't know, Thor. I just know that Loki had been calm until that moment. And when I came to the door it was like he just switched," Steve punctuated his statement by snapping his fingers. 

"Mmm..." Thor's non-commital grunt told Steve that he thought differently, but Steve didn't really care. He knew Loki wasn't hostile toward him on a regular basis. 

"Can't you destroy it with that hammer of yours? I've seen what it can do. I mean, it can't harm my shield, but-" 

Just then, Amelie broke her silence. She'd been kneeling beside Loki, fiddling with a lock of his hair while the two men tried to sort things amongst themselves. 

"Wait. Aren't you supposed to be a  _god_? And isn't that hammer, like  _forged in the heart of a dying star_ or something? And it can't even harm  _his_ shield? Which was made by  _humans_? You've got to be kidding me! Steve... we just need to go with option number three. I mean, I know it's dangerous, but--" 

"Her name is Mjolnir. And she may not have been able to break his shield, but I would appreciate it if you showed her a bit more respect," Thor grumbled. 

Steve could see that Amelie had caught on to his plan. He had hoped that he could goad Thor into helping them by questioning his ability to do so. 

And it worked. 

"Take me to the lab. I must see this scepter up close." 

 

 

"Amelie," Loki whispered when Thor and Steve had left the room. 

She turned to look at him; surprise registering on her face. He hadn't meant to scare her, but he was glad everyone had believed he was still out the entire time. 

"Loki, are you alright? I was so worried!" She immediately began fussing over him as if he had physical injuries she could heal herself. Loki chuckled, but tried to remain as stern as possible. 

"Listen, darling. Is there anything onboard this, this... _thing_ that you need besides your violin? Anything you left in your room, perhaps?" 

Amelie recognized the tone of his voice, and she knew he was up to something. She began shaking her head at whatever mischief he was concocting. 

"Oh, no... No, no, no. Not now. Loki, we  _finally_ have someone on your side! Possibly  _two_ people. Do you really want to mess that up?" 

Loki placed his hands on her arms as if he could steady her racing thoughts that way. As he looked into her eyes, he wished he could see their situation the way she saw it, but he just couldn't. She truly believed that if they could prove he was being manipulated, he would be set free. She still believed in _justice_. He shook his head. He knew beyond any doubt that they would never get away from Shield unless they ran. 

"Amelie, you don't have to come with me, but I- I really want you to. I know it will be dangerous for you, but I promise to protect you with my last breath. Darling, if Thor succeeds, I will  _feel_ it. That is when I need to get away. Do you understand? They will  _never_ let me leave otherwise." 

Amelie sat staring into those deep emerald eyes for a moment wondering if she could ever let him go alone. The truth was, she didn't think she  _could_ , but she needed a few reassurances before she agreed to his scheme.  

"I want to go with you, Loki. I really do. But there's something I need to know first."

Loki pulled her to him, nuzzling his face in her hair and breathing in her sweet scent.

"Anything, love. What is it?"

Amelie sighed.

"If I choose to go with you, I need to know that you won't just...leave me behind later. I have already lost everything once. I can't bear the thought of losing everything again. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would rather not have you at all than have you for a while and lose you later. That's why I live such a lonely existence. I can't get close to anyone for fear of them disappearing like my brother or dying like my parents." 

A lone tear escaped her eye and made its way down her cheek. Loki brushed it away with his thumb as he contemplated his reply. 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Before Loki could formulate a proper response, Amelie looked into his eyes and asked a question that he didn't know if he could answer. 

"Loki, why do you love me?"

At first, he thought she was simply being self-deprecating, and he waved the question away; kissing her fingers. But she wasn't asking why he loved her in  _that_ way. She didn't want to know why he loved her so that he would list her good qualities. She wanted to know how he could possibly  _know_ that he loved her after such a short time being with her. She wanted him to make her trust him. She wanted him to give her a reason to go with him wherever he decided to go. 

He had always been such a liar; such a smooth-talking miscreant, that he didn't know if he could speak the absolute truth in a way that she would even believe. 

Amelie watched Loki's face as his temperament changed. When he realized exactly what she was asking, his expression shifted from playful to fearful in a matter of seconds. She couldn't imagine what had passed through his mind at that moment. 

"Loki?" 

She reached up to stroke his face, hoping that simple gesture would encourage him to speak. His eyes softened at the contact, but he still looked absolutely stricken. 

"If my answer isn't satisfactory, you'll leave and I'll be left to face this alone. I don't know if I can bear that, Amelie. When I said  _I think I love you_ , I was  _sure_ I loved you. I was just too afraid to admit it; afraid you didn't feel the same. Darling girl, honesty has never been my strong suit, but I will never lie to you. But Amelie, my lies sound better than my truths, so I am terrified that what I am about to say will not be good enough for you to stay...

When I first saw you, of course I thought you were beautiful. Who wouldn't? But when I heard you play, the sound was calming. It made me miss my home for the first time in- well, a very long time. And when you were brought to my cell here...your presence alone stopped the ever-present voice inside my head. Not just the one you know about, love. There is another, and I suspect it is even more dangerous than the one I am trying to be rid of."

Amelie's face showed her alarm, but Loki placed a hand on her knee and shook his head. 

"This one is not the voice of a torturer. It is my own. I am my own worst enemy, my love. I detest myself more than any of the Avengers or Odin or Thor ever could. But you- as soon as you came into my life- you made that stop as well. I forgot to hate myself because I was too busy loving you. Please don't leave me. I don't know how to speak the truth eloquently. I just know that I need you."

There were tears swimming in Amelie's eyes when Loki was finished, and he was afraid she'd decided she couldn't be with him- either because he didn't love her enough, or because she couldn't face his madness. But seconds later, she was in his arms and all of his fears fell away. 

"Oh Loki, I need you too. I just needed to...to hear that. I will go anywhere with you. Anywhere. As long as we're together, everything will be alright."

 

 

 

"Exactly  _how_ do you think this weapon is affecting my brother? Did he tell you that it had somehow forced him to do the things he has done?" 

Thor and Steve were making their way down the corridor toward the lab, and Thor hadn't stopped questioning Steve about the scepter for even one blessed moment. 

Steve closed his eyes and sighed. Thor was useful to the team in many ways, but he wasn't the brightest. 

"No, you don't understand. Loki didn't really  _say_ how the scepter connected him with...whoever has control of him, but if we can destroy it, we can destroy the connection, therefore setting him free." 

Thor stopped and turned to glare at Steve. 

"You can't be serious. Loki must face justice for the crimes he has committed. You and your _Avengers_ can't simply set him free. He'll--"

"No. That is not what I meant. I meant he would be free of the voice... the thing that is controlling him. Then maybe we could figure out what is actually happening here. We really need to find out who manipulated him into stealing the Tesseract in the first place.  _That's_ who needs to face justice. Loki is just another victim, really." 

Thor still looked unconvinced, and Steve suddenly understood why Loki behaved the way he did. He couldn't imagine how Loki must feel if his adoptive brother  _and_ his so-called father treated him with such suspicion.  _Had they treated him this way his whole life?_

 

 

 

 

When they rounded the corner and walked into the lab, Stark and Banner looked up from their work. Bruce smiled; obviously not too bothered by their presence. But Tony immediately stopped what he was doing to confront them. 

"What now, Cap? You know, I'm beginning to think you're coming here to spy on us. This is the third time you've been down here today, and all you've done is meander around. Did Fury send you down here to make sure we weren't up to something? Always Fury's enforcer, aren't you? The _perfect Captain_. Well, let me tell you this: I am  _not_ going to be under your surveillance. I'm already under Shield scrutiny, and I will _not_ be under yours too!"  

By the time Tony had finished talking, he was almost toe to toe with Steve. His attempt at asserting dominance was almost comical though, because Thor was awkwardly towering over both men; Mjolnir at his side. 

That didn't seem to bother Tony though. He just brought Thor into his tirade too.

"I guess one of you wasn't enough, was it? You had to bring the big guy too? Didn't want to fight me alone?" 

Thor began to chuckle. He glanced over at Steve with an incredulous look on his face.

"What in the Nine is he on about? Are you certain  _Loki_ is the only one affected by the scepter? This one acts as though he has been mind-controlled by something much less intelligent." 

Steve tried in vain to stop Thor before he said more, but he'd given away too much information. Tony had already assumed his usual arrogant position; smiling at the two of them like he knew something no one else did. He crossed his arms over his chest and began pacing back and forth in front of the scepter. 

"Hold up, Thunderstruck. Are you saying that your brother is being  _manipulated_ by his own weapon?" He grasped the scepter, picking it up off of the table.

"That big bully is  _scared_ of his own  _stick_?" He waved it around, testing its weight; almost threatening them with it. 

"Put it down Stark," Steve ordered in a level voice, knowing Tony wouldn't listen.

He was too far gone. He had finally found something to hold over Loki's head, and he planned to exploit it. 

"Oh  _hell_ no. I'm not taking orders from someone who wears a glittery spandex suit." 

 

With that, Tony left the lab carrying the scepter high above his head like a pike. Thor's attempt to retrieve it from him proved futile.  

Tony was ready to fight  _anyone_ who stood in his way- even someone who could break him in two. 

 

"I don't want to harm you, metal man!" Thor yelled as he pinned Tony against the wall and attempted to tear the scepter away from him. 

"You? You couldn't even hurt me when we were outside throwing all of our power at each other," Tony snorted. 

Thor's meaty forearm pushed into Tony's throat, causing him to cough.

"That was just a preview, and you aren't wearing your suit. Now give me the scepter before I show you how much I was holding back out there!" 

 

Tony smirked and shook his head at Steve when he tried to intervene. 

"Tell me, big guy. Do you  _really_ believe this thing is somehow forcing Loki to attempt world domination? I mean, just because _Captain Spangles_  here says so?" Tony choked out the words as Thor began loosening his grip. 

Steve gritted his teeth watching Thor's almost thoughtful expression. He knew Tony was persuasive when he wanted to be, but he had assumed Thor would want to help his brother. Apparently, he had been far too optimistic.

"Stark, just because you don't  _like_ me doesn't mean you have to make me out to be a liar. I've  _seen_ the effects of this thing on him. It needs to be destroyed, not waved around in front of him. Why would you want to taunt  _Loki_? Have you even _thought_  about this?" 

Thor had let go of Tony by the time Steve finished talking. He honestly had no idea who to believe anymore. The metal man, however arrogant,  _did_ have a point... but Steve said he'd seen Loki's reaction to the scepter first hand. Before he could make a decision one way or another, Tony had made it  _for_ him. 

"Yes. I  _have_." 

There was no stopping him. Tony was on his way to Loki and Amelie's room with the scepter, and neither man had any idea what he planned to do with it. 

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

Bruce stood behind his computer in the lab feeling extremely guilty for not intervening when Tony took the scepter. He could hear the other man's voice echoing down the hallway, and he knew he still had time to help Thor and Steve. But as much as he hated to admit it even to himself, Bruce was afraid.

He was afraid of involving himself in the skirmish because of what might happen. If he became even the tiniest bit excited- or angry- the  _other guy_ might make a surprise appearance. The repurcussions would be catastrophic. Not only could he hurt or kill his friends, he could possibly damage the helicarrier beyond repair. 

He had almost talked himself out of helping the others until he heard what Tony was saying to Steve. Then he realized he couldn't afford  _not_ to get involved. 

 

 

 " _Tony stop!_ You'll hurt someone. Or someone- Loki- will hurt you. Just stop. Please!" Steve yelled as Tony stalked down the corridor.

Steve would have promised anything short of his first-born child to stop Tony from going into that room, but it seemed as though he was determined. 

Tony stopped abruptly, squaring his shoulders. He glared at Steve and Thor as if they had caused him great personal suffering. 

"I want to know why  _Loki_ is allowed to stay in a private room with his fucking girlfriend while  _we_ are locked inside a laboratory like a couple of rats? Why  _we_ are the ones working constantly- searching for a cube that  _he lost_? Why? Has it occured to either of you that the reason Loki wants this thing destroyed is because  _we can use it to control him_? If someone else is using it to control him, then  _WHY CAN'T WE_?!" 

Tony whirled around and began walking again, but continued to yell back at the others. 

"When I use this to control him, he'll  _have_  to tell us where the Tesseract is!"

 _"Game over, asshole!"_ He yelled toward Loki and Amelie's room while holding the scepter high above his head like a pike. 

 

"Damn," Steve muttered. 

"Language, Captain," Thor chuckled. 

"If there were ever a time to swear...now is that time." 

 

 

 

Loki felt the pull of the scepter just seconds before he heard Tony's voice. " _Game over, asshole!_ " 

"Norns, what have they done? Amelie, darling you need to get out of this room.  _Now_." 

The frightened and angry expression on Loki's face gave Amelie pause. She didn't know what was happening, but she knew it was serious. She could hear voices in the hallway, but she couldn't make out exact words. However she knew his hearing was much better than her own, so he already knew the situation. 

"Loki, tell me what is going on. Let me decide if I want to leave." 

She knew Loki wanted her to obey him without question, but she wanted him to understand that she was capable of making her own decisions about her safety. She also didn't want to leave him, especially if he was in danger. 

Loki let out a huff as he glared at her indignantly. 

"The oaf and the soldier failed. The metal man has the scepter, and he's bringing it in here. For what reason, I don't know. All I know is that he  _thinks_ he has won some imaginary prize." 

Suddenly, Loki's eyes grew pleading, and Amelie almost buckled under the weight of his gaze. 

"Darling, if he brings that thing in here, I could hurt you by accident. I could  _kill_ you. I couldn't live with myself. Please go.  _Please_."

Amelie touched Loki's cheek; her fingertips lingering on his jaw for a few fleeting moments. 

"I trust you, Loki. You would never hurt me. Even when you were...not yourself, you didn't hurt me. I want to stay and help however I can." 

He grasped her wrist almost painfully, and she gasped. 

"You don't understand!  _I_ won't hurt you, but  _he will_.  _Through_   _me_. He'll use me to hurt you! Because he knows it will destroy me..."

Amelie  _did_ understand, but she had already made her choice. Loki would just have to be angry with her. 

"I'm staying. You can't make me leave. You  _need_ me, Loki. I can help you keep your head, remember?" 

 

Before Amelie knew what was happening, Loki had shoved her against the wall and pinned her with his big body. His face was just inches from her own; his cool breath mingling with hers. 

" _Fine_. But you stay right here. Promise you won't try to escape. You're all I have." 

He kissed her roughly, bruising her lips; his fingers cutting into her hips as he held her still. It was the most desperate, heart-wrenching embrace she had ever felt from him. Almost as if he was trying to convey a message. Almost like a painful _goodbye_. His eyes locked with hers for a brief second, and she could see that he was still  _there_ , but it wouldn't be long before he was lost again. 

When he released her, she found herself behind another one of his magical shields. 

  _"Loki!"_ She wailed, irritated beyond belief that he had basically chained her to one place in the room like a wayward puppy. 

"I had to, Amelie. I love you too much to risk your life. I'm far too dangerous to be close to you right now."

As much as she hated it, Amelie had to admit that Loki was right. His eyes were now starting to take on the icy blue color she knew indicated impending madness. Her heart ached knowing she'd been right. The  _goodbye_ she'd felt before was for him; because he knew he would lose control and he wanted a few more seconds with her in his right mind. 

 

 

 

As soon as Tony opened the door to Loki and Amelie's room, Bruce stepped out of the laboratory and ran toward Steve and Thor. He hadn't wanted to quarrel with Tony in the hall; deciding instead to join the other men and find out what their plan was. Unfortunately, they didn't have one. 

"Bruce, thank God! What's your plan? Tony is belligerent!" Steve was excitedly waving his arms as Thor tried to keep him from giving away Bruce's presence.

"I...don't know. Surely between the three of us, we can get that thing back without incident. But if he goes in there and pisses Loki off, we're screwed."

Thor shook his head. "It's not him you need to worry about now. Tony has lost his mind."

"And Loki just wants to keep Amelie safe," Steve muttered.

Thor rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything to the contrary.

 

 

 

"I would back off if I were you, metal man," Loki growled.

Tony was advancing on Loki with the scepter held in front of him. He was attempting to touch the blade to Loki's chest, but had not been able to catch the god since entering the room.

"What are you going to do, _kill_ me?" Tony swiped at Loki's chest, tearing a hole in his armor with the sharp blade. 

 _"Stop it! Please don't hurt him!"_ Amelie screamed at Tony from inside her magical cage. 

Tony turned and smiled coldly. "Really? You _really_ give a damn about him?  _Why_? You do realize that he is trying to take over your planet, right? He wants us all  _dead_. That includes you." 

Amelie shook her head. She didn't believe a single word of it. She knew that Loki had been manipulated. _He_ didn't want any of that. 

Suddenly, Steve, Thor, and Bruce came through the open door, and Amelie sighed in relief. Surely everything would be alright now.

 

 

"Tony, you know we can't actually use that thing. It doesn't belong on this planet. It won't work for us," Bruce whispered.

He'd mistakenly thought that keeping his voice low might help keep Tony calm. He was starting to wonder if that scepter hadn't had an effect on Tony as well as Loki. He'd noticed Tony's behavior while they worked together in the lab. Tony had been nothing short of aggressive, and even though Bruce hadn't said anything, he suspected Tony was suffering from some form of PTSD. He supposed the scepter could be feeding that disorder, making Tony more paranoid and aggressive than ever. 

"Actually, Bruce, no. I _don't_ know that. If  _he_ can use it, why can't  _we_? Why can't we use it to control  _him_? You know what I think Banner? I think you're scared. You're afraid of your _own_ monster, so you don't want to face anyone else's. Fury didn't bring you in to _help_. He brought you in here so you wouldn't freak the hell out and destroy yet another major city.  _That's_ why you're here." 

 

 

 

Loki tried to watch with only passing interest as Bruce and Tony began to shove each other around. But Tony was using  _his_ scepter to back Bruce into a corner, and it was pissing him off- no, it was pissing the  _Other_ off. 

 _Kill him. He deserves it for stealing_ your _weapon. You know he does. And he plans to use it on_ you _, Asgardian. Kill him NOW._

The voice slithered into Loki's consciousness, and as much as he tried to fight it, with the scepter  _this_ close, he could not. He lunged at Tony; his hands wrapping around the man's throat. 

In his peripheral, he could see Bruce attempting to come to Tony's aid, so he flung a ball of green energy at the other man, which sent him flying. Somewhere in the back of Loki's mind, he knew Bruce was not going to handle that well, but at that moment, he didn't care. He was no longer in control. 

The metal man was starving for oxygen, and Loki smirked at him; simultaneously loving and hating the look of sheer terror on the man's face. The  _Other_ was overjoyed. The tiny part of Loki that was still  _there_ was horrified, but he couldn't let go. 

_That's right. Do it. Kill him. But first, take back the scepter!_

"Give it to me. Give it to me NOW, metal man!" Loki yelled through gritted teeth. 

Inside, he pleaded for Tony  _not_ to give him that thing. He truly didn't want it. 

Stark lost consciousness from Loki's grasp on his throat, and suddenly dropped the scepter on the floor. Steve and Thor scrambled to grab it before Loki could, but someone else already had. 

 

 

"Oh shit! We have to get out of here! Go NOW!" Steve yelled. 

During the commotion, no one had noticed that Banner was sprawled across the floor fighting to remain human. Unfortunately for them, he lost the battle. 

Loki dropped Tony's limp body and turned to face the Hulk. "I said,  _give it to ME._ " 

"No, Loki! Don't! He'll kill you! Will somebody  _let me out of here?!"_ Amelie screamed from her magical prison. 

Thor moved to step in between Hulk and Loki, but Loki wouldn't budge. He simply back-handed his brother and shoved him out of the way. 

"Dammit, Loki! I'm trying to help you!" 

Bright blue eyes pinned Thor to his place, and he realized then just how mad Loki was.  _It really is the scepter..._   _and it's going to get him killed._  

Loki was advancing on Hulk, and Thor knew he had to do something. Anything. So he did the only thing he thought might work. 

He pointed to the scepter, nodded once, and said, "Hulk! Smash!" 

To his utter surprise, Hulk took one long look at the object he held in his gargantuan hand, and crumbled it into bits. The only thing that remained was the stone...the most dangerous part. And it fell to the floor at Loki's feet. 

" _No! You destroyed it,"_ Loki cried, and he lunged at Hulk. 

Thor wasted no time trying to stop Loki from attacking Hulk. He was just relieved that his brother hadn't noticed the stone as it rolled onto the floor. He quickly snatched it up, tucking it into his armor before re-joining the fight. 

 

 

Steve couldn't help trying to comfort Amelie while the others were fighting. He didn't trust the so-called _shield_ Loki had placed around her, so he held his own in front of her. He simply couldn't risk her getting hurt.  

"I need to get  _out_ of here, Steve! I have to help him. He'll listen to me!" 

"Amelie, I'm afraid you're stuck until Loki is in his right mind again. Besides, you shouldn't be here anyway. You could get hurt." 

"I know, but I... I can  _help_ him if I can just get out of here!" 

Seconds later, she realized that she  _could_ help him, and she didn't need to leave her makeshift cell to do it. She wondered whether Loki had intentionally caged her in that place; the chair where her violin lay. She didn't know exactly how the sound would travel through his magical shield, but she had to try. 

 

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

_You are more powerful than any of them, Asgardian. Kill them. Kill them all! All they want to do is destroy you. They hate you. They want you in a cage for the rest of your long life. They want to study you; to do their primitive experiments; to examine you like some lowly beast trapped in an exhibit. They will make their fortunes keeping you locked away, knowing all the while that you are the rightful ruler of their realm. Kill them._

Loki's head throbbed and his eyes felt like they were on fire. The  _Other_ was shouting at him over the noise inside the tiny room, and even though the scepter was nothing more than splinters on the floor, he couldn't ignore it.  _The stone is still intact_. 

Somewhere amongst the cacophony, he heard Amelie's voice.  _No! Please don't hurt him!_ He should never have allowed her to stay. She would be dead by the time this was over. 

_Oh, yes. By your hand, no less. The last string tying you to your sanity will be lost, and I will have complete control. You will **want** me to. _

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind and for a few moments, it worked. He was  _present_. The metal man was hanging by his throat- in  _his_ hands. 

 _He deserves it. He has the scepter! Kill him!_  

The next time Loki took control of his own mind, he was facing off with Hulk, and he knew he was going to lose. He stole a quick glance at Amelie, lunging at the green monster before it could get the first blow.  _Goodbye, my love. Maybe it's better this way. At least I can't hurt you if I'm dead._

 

 

 

 

As Amelie struggled to pull her violin from its case while keeping an eye on the melee at the same time, she prayed her music would calm the Hulk as well. If not, she would be putting Loki in even more danger.

She'd been paying close attention to the entire drama as it played out in front of her, and she had watched Thor tuck the stone into his armor. It troubled her because she didn't know what he planned to do with it next. She only knew that he  _had_ to get it away from Loki. She hoped he had realized that much by now. Loki was right, though. His brother  _was_ an oaf. 

She began to play the first piece that came to mind; one that Loki had particularly loved while he was in his glass cage. Unfortunately, her hands were shaking, and she was having difficulty making it sound as peaceful as it should. She was too busy focusing on Loki, Thor, and Hulk. After playing a few notes, she stopped. Loki needed someone else on his side, and she needed to convince Steve to stop protecting her so he could go fight. 

"Steve, Loki needs your shield more than I do right now. Please, go help him. I will be fine." 

"Amelie, no. I can't leave you with no way to protect yourself. You're just an innocent bystander--" 

Amelie cut him off, "No way to protect myself?! Steve, have you  _tried_ to get through one of Loki's shields? Touch it. See what happens." 

Tentatively, Steve reached out a hand to touch the magical barrier between them, but he didn't even make it that far. As soon as he  _decided_ to try to enter the space, he was thrown across the room and into the wall behind him. 

For a few seconds, all fighting ceased. Everyone in the room stopped to stare at Steve, who was lying in a heap on the floor, panting and beginning to chuckle. That is, until Loki turned his gaze in Steve's direction. Under the  _Other's_ control, it was clear that they were no longer friends. 

"Trying to get to my girl, are we Captain?" 

Loki's bright blue eyes were narrowed, and his hand shot out in front of him. Amelie realized what he was about to do, and immediately began to play again. She knew no amount of talking would help him. 

Unfortunately, as soon as he regained control of his own mind, Hulk came for him again. This time though, Thor was there; Mjolnir in hand. He swung the hammer, knocking Hulk to the floor, and swiftly placed the weapon atop the other man's chest to keep him from attacking again. 

Thor and Steve both sighed in unison, but Loki stood fixed in his place. His eyes frantically flicked from one man to the next before finally landing on Amelie, who was holding her violin as if she would play again at any moment should the need arise.

Amelie watched the emotions cross Loki's face; panic, relief at seeing her unharmed, anger at the situation, and finally regret. He waved his hand in front of the shield, and it fell away as easily as if it were made of water. 

She wanted nothing more than to run to him; to wrap her arms around him and tell him it was alright- that  _he_ was alright. The expression on his face told her that  _he_ needed that too, but not with everyone watching. So she waited. 

 

"Is anyone...hurt?" It was an odd question coming from the man everyone claimed was trying to take over the planet.

Thor cocked his head to the side, examining Loki's questioning face. He hoped his brother wasn't trying to pull off some elaborate trick because if so, he was now succeeding. 

"You really have no idea, do you? Loki, what  _happens_ inside your mind?" 

"Just  _tell me_. Is he alive? And why in the Nine was he trying to provoke me that way?" Loki gestured to Tony, who was just beginning to regain consciousness.

Loki was well aware that any talk of the scepter would lead to serious repurcussions for him. The problem was that none of  _them_ knew that. So his best option was to pretend to be furiously angry any time someone asked too many questions. 

"He-- well, he thought he could use it to make you tell us where the Tesseract is," Steve answered. He sounded quite embarrassed, and Loki almost felt sorry for him. 

" _What?_ You mean,  _that's_ why he was trying to touch me with it? That's why he almost ran me through with the blade? Because he thought he could  _control_ me? I thought he was supposed to be some sort of genius. If  _he_ is the brightest among you, your world is in far more trouble than you know. And  _not_ because of me. You'll destroy yourselves long before anyone else can." 

Steve knew Loki was in his right mind, but he still felt that he needed to clarify something before they went any further. 

"Loki, uh, I just wanted you to know...I wasn't trying to  _get to_ Amelie. She asked me to come to your aid, and I didn't know if she was truly safe. She's the one who suggested that I try to touch the barrier..." 

His words were awkward, and he stuttered a few times, but Loki knew what he meant. 

"It's true. I asked him if he'd ever tried to get through one of your shields, and that's when he tried to touch it. It's my fault, really," Amelie agreed. 

"I know, and I...apologize. Thank you for trying to keep my girl safe, Captain." 

"Well, I know now that I don't have to worry. That shield was... well, I think I'm starting to regain feeling in my limbs," Steve chuckled. 

 

 

 

Though the tension between Loki and Steve had broken, Loki still felt uneasy. He still felt the pull of the scepter, and he knew that the stone was inside the room with them. The voice of the  _Other_ was a low whisper in the back of his mind, and he was continuously pushing it back; fighting to keep his head. 

"Which one of you has the stone? I know it still exists." 

No one answered as Loki's piercing gaze fell on the other men. A stirring drew Loki's attention to the other side of the room, and he saw that the Hulk was gone. 

"Bruce is back," Thor declared cheerfully, removing Mjolnir from his chest. 

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to let the  _other guy_ out..." he muttered. 

Loki ignored the two men; instead examining their postures, trying to find whomever was hiding the shard. 

"Let's get you out of here before anything else happens," Thor said, slapping Bruce on the back. He ignored Loki's narrowed eyes as he led Bruce from the room, and sighed in relief when they had reached the hallway. He didn't want Loki to know that he had the stone- mostly because he still wasn't sure if the scepter was the cause of Loki's behavior- and he had something in mind. An experiment. 

As soon as they left the room, Loki could feel the power of the shard diminishing, so he  _knew_ that one of the two men had it. But before he could follow them, Tony started mumbling, and he felt compelled to stay. He had unfinished business with the metal man. 

 

 

 

 

"Awake now, I see," Loki whispered menacingly. He almost wanted Tony to believe he was still under the scepter's influence. It might make this easier. 

"You tried to kill me. When I tell Fury--" 

"But you won't. You won't tell him because  _you_ tried to use so-called alien technology to subdue me, even though you had no clue what you were doing, and you could have gotten everyone on this godsforsaken ship killed.  _Why?_   _Why did you do it, metal man?_ " 

Loki grabbed his shoulders and hoisted him up so that Tony was forced to look him in the eyes. 

Usually, in a situation where his life was threatened, Tony was angry. This time, he was pants-pissing terrified. Loki was  _calm_. He had thought the god was frightening when he was choking the life out of him. He had been so very wrong. Calm Loki was far scarier because Tony had no idea what would happen next. 

"I did it for revenge, okay?" 

Tony's head dropped, and Loki knew he was telling the truth, but he was confused.  _What had he done to the metal man?_

"What?"

Tony took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. Steve and Amelie were staring at them; not making any attempt at stopping Loki from breaking his neck should he say the wrong thing. It was disconcerting to say the least. He'd really fucked up this time. 

"For Phil."

Loki shook him. Not hard enough to hurt him, but just hard enough to make him realize he  _had_ to say more. 

"You wanted revenge for the useless piece of Bildgesnipe dung that tortured my Amelie? Why does he deserve  _anything_? After what he did, he deserved to be thrown from this floating fortress!" 

Loki's fingers were digging into Tony's shoulders, and he thought he felt blood running down his right arm. He shuddered, knowing that if he didn't make his case, he was  _done_. 

"I love him, okay? Is that enough for you? He doesn't know though, so I would appreciate it if none of you told him... you know, after this big fella kills me." 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

Tony crumpled onto the floor after Loki dropped him suddenly. 

"Are you actually saying that you and Coulson..."

"No. He doesn't  _know_ ," Tony interrupted, brushing himself off and getting to his feet. He reached up to dab at his arm, noting that Loki had indeed held him so tightly that he'd actually broken his skin. Blood oozed through his shirt, but now was not the time to mourn its untimely demise. 

"I've been a fool. All this time I thought he was with a woman. I thought she'd moved out of state! That's what he  _told_ everyone. I even offered to fly him up there to see her- all because I wanted to spend some time with him outside of work. I thought if he got to know me, then maybe...I mean, I thought he _might_ be attracted to men, but I wasn't sure. Then I found out he'd been lying to me. To all of us! His  _precious_ 'Brian' had been killed! And  _you_ , big guy. You pushed him over the edge. The man I love tried to kill himself because of  _you_." 

Tony had worked himself up into a fit of rage, and Loki could see that things were getting out of hand again. He wanted to argue with the angry metal man. He wanted to scream at him; tell him that Coulson had  _chosen_ to do the things he'd done.

Loki knew better than anyone how grief could destroy one's mind until there was nothing left but the burning desire to  _destroy everything_. And then, just when you think your plan can't possibly go any more awry, someone you love and respect looks not _at_  you, but _through_ you. You see the disappointment and regret in their eyes, and you just can't imagine a world where everything will be normal again.  _You_ will never exist again. Not the way you used to. From that moment on, you'll be something different. Something  _lesser_. And you can't stand the thought of being that person. That _thing_  you tried so desperately to escape. 

 _That's_ why Coulson chose to attempt suicide. Not because of Loki. Because of what he had become.

But Tony would never understand, so he didn't bother saying any of that. Instead, he shook his head and asked Steve to take the man away before things escalated once more. One ludicrous fight was enough for this day. 

 

 

Finally alone, Loki and Amelie sat on the floor holding each other. They'd both feared losing the other even though Loki thought Amelie was being ridiculous. 

"Amelie, darling, I am a lot more durable than you might think. There aren't many creatures that can kill me. Even the Hulk would have a hard time."

Amelie rolled her eyes at him, but felt slightly relieved at his confidence. She knew he'd been tested before, but she wasn't sure she wanted to know  _how_. The thought of  _her_ Loki hurt made her stomach churn. 

"So, now that the scepter is gone..." Amelie began, but Loki held up a hand. "It's not that simple, love. The scepter was broken, yes, but its power remains. I still feel it."

"Is it the stone? That glowing shard on the end of the scepter? Because Thor has it. I watched him tuck it into his armor." 

Loki smirked. "Did you now? Amelie, if he comes in here, I'm going to put you behind a shield again. Please don't be angry with me."  

" _Why?_ Thor isn't going to hurt me, is he?" 

Loki had been absentmindedly stroking her hair, but stopped when he realized she was indeed irritated with him. 

"Let's just say I don't think Thor believes in the power of the stone... yet. I have a feeling he will test it on me, and I don't want to leave anything up to chance." 

Her face was still stony, so he reached out to gently touch her cheek. 

"My love, just let me protect you from myself. Please. It's the least I can do." 

"Loki, you won't hurt me," Amelie insisted. 

"Your faith in me is so endearing darling, but I don't trust  _him_." 

Amelie knew Loki wasn’t referring to Thor, so she didn’t complain again. She simply agreed to being protected. If it made him feel safer, she would let him do anything he wished. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why haven't you at least gone to see him?" Steve asked Tony as they made their way down the hallway once again. 

"And say what, exactly? That I love him and I want to make him forget all about Brian? Ask him if he happens to have a metal kink? Or if he has any experience dealing with men who have anger issues and PTSD?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "He's  _not_ interested. Why would he be? I'm too... rough around the edges for him. He's so refined.  _Brian_ was an orchestral cellist for fuck's sake! And  _he_ probably never said the word  _fuck_ , ever." 

Steve stopped, gently grasping Tony's shoulder.

"You don't need to say any of that, Tony. The guy has been through so much, and now a lot of people are mad at him. He really needs someone to talk to. Someone who isn't Nick Fury. Just...I don't know...go tell him you were concerned about him. Let him know you actually care."

For a second, Steve thought Tony might react as a normal person would- a hug, a smile, something non-aggressive. But after Tony's initial look of shock, followed by a fleeting moment of  _actual feeling_ , the man simply shrugged Steve's hand away. 

"Damn, Cap. Are you sure  _you're_ not into me?" 

Steve rolled his eyes and walked away hoping Tony would consider his advice anyway. 

 

 

 

 

 

“Okay, so tell me again what you plan to do with that thing now that it’s _portable,”_ Bruce said, referring to the stone.

Thor chuckled. He felt sure that Bruce wouldn’t understand his need to test his brother, but he didn’t really care. 

“I’m going to hide it in my armor when I speak with Loki. That way, if he is truly affected by it- as he says- he will be affected even when he doesn’t know it’s there.” 

Bruce nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“You see, Steve and Amelie both believe Loki when he says this hostile plan is not his own, but I know my brother. He could have done this without help. He plotted to destroy Jotunheim without help from anyone. And he would have succeeded had it not been for my intervention,” Thor finished haughtily.  

“What are you going to do when he… _Hulks_  out on you? I mean, you saw him in there. If he really can’t control himself, you’re going to need help.” 

Thor considered Bruce’s offer for a moment, but declined.

“Nah. Honestly I think Loki is simply using this thing as his latest excuse. He’s a talented liar. Always has been.”

As Thor left the room, Bruce gaped at his back. For the first time, he actually felt _sorry_ for Loki. Growing up with someone like Thor had to leave marks on a person. 

 

 

 

Steve walked around aimlessly for a while before deciding to make his way back toward Loki and Amelie’s room. He wanted to make sure the two of them were alright, but he didn’t want to disturb them, especially after everything that had happened earlier. He felt awful that things had gotten so far out of hand and wanted to apologize, but he didn’t really know what to say. As he passed by the lab, Bruce stuck his head out the door and called to him. 

“Cap? Are you busy?”

Steve was taken aback by Bruce’s tone, not at all sure what the other man was about to say. 

“No. What do you need? Are you alright? I mean, after the _…fight,”_ he whispered the last word as if anyone could hear. 

“Trust me. I’m fine. I’m just glad the _other_ guy didn’t hurt anyone else. I was wondering if you could…stop by Loki’s room. Thor has the stone from the scepter. And he’s planning to go speak with Loki later. He said he wanted to _test_ him- to see if he’s really affected by the stone. I offered to back him up in case things got bad again, but he seemed to believe that Loki was just making it all up. I couldn’t let him go down there without telling someone, especially with Amelie down there," he paused momentarily, shaking his head.

"Honestly, Cap…I think Loki’s telling the truth.”

Steve took a deep steadying breath before answering. It took a lot to make him angry, but this really pissed him off. Not only was Thor endangering himself, but he was risking Amelie as well. Steve knew that Loki would never hurt her, but Thor didn’t. He was just trying to prove a point. He knew he shouldn't care so much about what happened to that girl, but he did, and he didn't want to look too closely at the possible reasons for that. It was all just too much at the moment. 

“Bruce, thank you for telling me. And just between the two of us, Loki _is_  telling the truth. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. That scepter…it’s connected to someone or some _thing_ out there,” he waved his hands toward the ceiling, “and Loki has to fight with every fiber of his being not to obey its commands. I guess Thor will find out soon enough.” 

Bruce looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking again. 

"So when you came down here for the scepter...you were trying to  _destroy_ it?"

Steve nodded almost imperceptibly. 

"How?"

"Any way I could. If we can get Loki free from that thing, maybe he'll tell us where the Tesseract is and we will be done with this mission." 

As Steve turned to walk away, he heard Bruce call out, "Let me know if I can help. Or if the  _other_ guy can." 

 

 

 

Just as Steve rounded the corner, he heard a piercing scream from Loki's room. 

 _Amelie_.  _Thor must have beat me there._

Steve broke into a sprint, hoping Loki had remembered to put his shield up once more. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

When Thor entered Loki and Amelie's room, he immediately noticed that Amelie was still behind Loki's shield. 

"Brother, are you ever planning to let your hostage free? Does she even _want_ to be here, or is she just a pawn in your master plan?"

Before Loki could respond, Amelie let out a huff of indignation.

" I am _not_ a hostage! Nor am I some pawn in anyone's plan! Loki was right. You _are_ an oaf!"

Thor took several steps back as if he were physically injured by Amelie's words, but Amelie didn't care. He'd crossed an invisible line, and she no longer held any compassion for him. She looked to Loki hoping Thor's words hadn't hurt him as much as he'd intended them to. Unfortunately, it seemed Loki had been right- Thor had brought the stone with him. Loki's eyes were burning with rage, and they were bright blue. 

" _Loki,_ " she whispered, attempting to distract him from his target. 

He wasn't listening though. His eyes were trained on Thor, and his fists were balled at his sides. 

 _"Loki,_ sweetheart...don't listen to... _it_." 

 

 

Loki could hear Amelie's sweet voice, muffled as it was behind his shield, but the voice of the  _Other_ was much, much louder. 

_How **dare** he come in here and accuse you of taking her hostage? He never loved you. He calls you 'brother,' but only when it suits his own needs. He's not your brother. We both know you have no brother. You have no one, monster. He knows you're nothing but a monster. He calls you brother just to drive the dagger in a little deeper. He calls you brother just to make you feel  **worse**. Kill him. Kill him and show him what you're capable of. Then there will be one less of them to stop you!_

Loki gritted his teeth, muttering " _No"_  over and over again under his breath, but the  _Other_ continued to torture his mind. Deep down, he knew one thing was certain: Thor really  _didn't_ see him as a brother; only as a threat. 

"Let her go, Loki. She can't help you with your little mission, and you know it," Thor taunted. 

_See? Even if you do manage to get free of him, your so-called family will never let you have her. Get RID of him!_

Between Thor's idiocy and the  _Other's_ lies, Loki couldn't take anymore. He let out a feral growl and launched himself at Thor, pulling a dagger out of its secret hiding place as he went. 

Through his hate-filled haze, he heard Amelie's scream, but couldn't seem to stop himself. He felt Thor's fist connect with his jaw, and he drove his dagger into his  _brother's_ side. 

 

" _Stop! Stop it, both of you!!! Please!"_

Amelie was crying as she begged them to stop their brawl, and as soon as Loki heard her whimpering cries, he shoved Thor away from him. 

"Get that shard  _away_ from me! Haven't you learned your lesson by now, oaf?!"

Loki's eyes were glowing, and his hands were shaking with the intense need to obey the _Other's_ orders, but he managed to keep himself in check because of her- his Amelie. He pulled himself up from the floor and moved over next to where Amelie sat inside her magical cage. 

"Please don't cry, darling. It's _okay...shhh..."_

"You stabbed me!" Thor bellowed.

 

"And you deserved it for the stunt you just pulled," Steve declared as he flung the door wide open.

"Bruce told me your idiotic plan," he turned toward Amelie, "I heard your scream down the hall. Are you hurt?"

Loki glared at him; his bright blue eyes narrowed. "She's fine. I've seen to that already, so stay away from her!"

Steve tried to ignore Loki's burning gaze as he turned to Thor. "You need to take that stone out of here now. He's not in his right mind. Can't you see that? Have you gotten enough evidence yet?!" 

"I just wanted to have a word with him, and he attacked me!" Thor lied. 

"Oh, bullshit," Amelie sniffled, "You came here with every intention of setting him off. I was  _here_. I  _know_. And I watched you tuck that thing into your armor during the fight earlier."

Steve grasped Thor's massive bicep and dragged him out the door. "Take the stone back to the lab, then come back here. We need to have words." 

 

 

 

 

Tony sat in his quarters thinking about what Steve had suggested. He just couldn't imagine any scenario where Phil would want  _him_. Sure, he was rich, but he'd made his fortune blowing people up. That's what he was trying to atone for now. Unfortunately, it seemed like he was just spinning his wheels. 

He didn't know how to show Phil that he cared. He didn't know what real love looked like. His own father had been an emotionally abusive asshole, so examining  _that_ relationship would gain him nothing. He tried to think of the most loving person he knew, and the face that popped into his mind wasn't what he expected. 

It was Steve. 

The gentle, friendly touch to his shoulder earlier. The way he always seemed to know when to offer help and when to back off. The way he just inherently knew when someone was in pain...Steve knew how to  _love_. 

 _Fuck_.  _I'm going to have to take his advice if I want anything to happen with Phil. He obviously knows more about this than I do._

Tony stood from his chair and checked himself in the mirror above the sink. If he was going to offer the love of his life some support, the least he could do was make sure he didn't have leftover steak stuck in his teeth. 

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment, and prayed to whomever was listening that Phil would understand his awkwardness. With any luck, he'd even find it endearing. 

 

 

 

 

As soon as Thor left the room with the shard, Loki felt the  _Other's_ presence diminish. He lowered the shield protecting Amelie, and she ran into his waiting arms. 

"Did Thor think you'd just left me in there this whole time?"

"I-- I don't know. Are you alright?" Loki asked, sounding shaken. 

"You know I am. I was behind that impenatrable shield, sweetheart. Are  _you_ okay? He hit you so hard!" 

Loki chuckled. "That was nothing. I can't count the number of times he's hit me with _lightening._ I probably deserved it though." 

Amelie didn't have much time to be horrified by his admission because Thor knocked on the door at that moment. 

"The  _mighty_ one has returned," Steve grumbled. 

"Come in,  _brother_ ," Loki called out, rolling his eyes. 

 

Thor sat down next to Steve, then awkwardly stared at him until Steve acknowledged his presence. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?" 

Steve let out a little  _hmmph_. "How about we discuss the fact that you endangered a lady with your little experiment? Or the fact that your continued taunts almost led to yet another brawl in here? Then I would like to hear you say, once and for all, that you  _believe_ Loki. Because he  _is_ telling the truth, whether you want to believe him or not!" 

Thor's head dropped, and he gazed at Amelie for a moment before taking her hand. 

"My lady, I apologize for putting you in danger. I meant you no harm. I was only trying to make sure my brother was being truthful." 

"You can let go now," Amelie huffed. Thor's usual charming way wasn't giving him any second chances with her. 

He then turned back to Steve and Loki.

"It was never my intention to taunt Loki. I simply wondered why he still had her in that cage. That is all. And... yes, I believe that stone is affecting him. To what degree, I am still unsure." 

"Can you not tell the difference between him  _now_ and  _five minutes ago?_ " 

Thor didn't get the chance to answer because Loki stood, making the others look up at him. His face was an emotionless mask until he began to speak. 

 

"I knew you would never believe me, even if I  _had_ told you the truth. That's why I didn't even bother. You  _never_ believed me. Even when we were children. Everything was always my fault. The punishments I took because of you, Thor...

Do you remember when you lost Odin's cloak? You had been playing with it, and I told you not to because I  _knew_ you would misplace it. You never cared about anyone but yourself. You lost it...and I found it later that night... _After_ Odin had already taken all of my books away. You told him you saw  _me_ with it earlier that day, so he punished  _me_. I never got those books back even though I gave the cloak back as soon as I found it." 

Thor looked like he was going to speak, but Loki stopped him. 

"Do you know  _why_ I sent the Destroyer that day? Because I  _knew_ you would never stop mocking me for what I was. As soon as you learned of my true heritage, you would tell all of Asgard that your  _brother_ was nothing more than the runt son of a Frost Giant. I was desperate, Thor. I would have rather lost everything than face that mockery for the rest of my life. Then, just as I had saved Odin's life from being killed by Laufey; just as mother was  _thanking me_ , you strutted in and ruined it all. You couldn't let me have  _one moment_ without destroying it. 

Everyone thinks  _I_ ruined your coronation, but it wasn't  _me_. It was  _Odin_. He pinned that on me so he didn't have to take the blame. Even  _he_ was afraid of what you'd do on the throne."

Thor gasped and shook his head in disbelief, but Loki continued to nod, reaffirming his claim. 

"Why did you do it, Loki? Why did you let go? We wouldn't be here if you'd just stayed." 

Loki's face never changed as he processed Thor's inquiry. He stood staring at Thor, completely emotionless. 

"Because I saw Odin's face. And yours. The two of you would have taken everything that had happened and made a mockery of me... _Because of my Jotun blood_. Nothing would have been the same again. How could I have gone on? How could I _live_ like that? 

I knew that once the _good people_ of Asgard found out my true identity, they would ostracize me. No one would ever _trust_ me again! Can you imagine? A _Jotun_  Prince of Asgard?"

Loki laughed without humor, but his eyes began to tear. 

"No one in Asgard trusted me as it was! And whose fault was that, Thor?! _Whose fault was it?!"_

 

He paused; a tear making its way down his cheek.

 _"_ What else could I do but let go?" Loki whispered. 

 

 

"You are right, brother. The fault is mine. I... I am so sorry." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

_I've fallen much further than that before..._

Amelie remembered hearing Loki's statement to Fury when they had first arrived on the hellicarrier. Fury had threatened to drop the glass cage, sending it plummeting to the Earth, and Loki didn't even blink an eye. 

_Why did you let go?_

Had Loki tried to kill himself? Amelie listened dispassionately as Thor tried to convince Loki that he hadn't meant to cause any trouble by bringing the shard back in their room. She really wanted Thor to leave so she could talk to Loki alone. She  _had_ to know what had happened. 

Finally, Steve looked over at her face, gave her a conspiratorial wink, and put her out of her misery. 

"Come on, Thor. Let's leave these two alone for a while. It's been a long day, and I can see that Amelie is getting sleepy. Mortals do that. We can head to the lab and figure out how to..." he made a tossing motion, indicating they should get rid of the stone. 

Thor begrudgingly agreed, and the two headed out the door. Amelie mouthed  _thank you_ at Steve when he glanced over his shoulder at her. 

 

Loki wouldn't meet her eyes, but she knew it was not out of anger. He was overwhelmed. She took his hands, holding them tightly. 

"Oh, Loki. I'm so sorry. I- I knew your childhood wasn't great but..."

"You want to know, don't you?" Loki choked out. 

He'd finally looked up at her, so she nodded. "I do, but only because I love you and I want to help. I can see in your eyes that whatever happened...it isn't over for you. You're still living it. Tell me sweetheart. It won't change my mind."

Loki gave her a long, slightly suspicious look. "You can't know that, darling. Not yet. You don't know what I've done. What I really  _am_." 

Amelie sighed, "No offense, but, you basically kidnapped me. You threatened to take over my planet. And you're being mind-controlled by some kind of psychotic alien life form. And  _you_ aren't even human! Loki... I  _love_ you! I'm not going  _anywhere_." 

He realized she hadn't raised her voice at him since their very first day on the helicarrier when she thought he had taken her violin. Now she was yelling at him because she  _loved_ him. And he was having a hard time believing her. After everything she had endured, he had no choice but to trust her. He knew that even if he didn't, and she left, it would kill him anyway. So he finally let go...again. Only this time he wasn't choosing death. He was choosing  _life_. 

 

He was silent for a few moments. He would tell her how he'd let go of Gungnir. He would tell her how he had fallen through the void. But could she handle the  _rest_? He looked at her face and remembered her confession about how her parents had died and how she had spent the last few years sleeping on friends' couches. Then he realized that  _that_ was the reason he'd been so drawn to her- because she _could_ handle anything. She hadn't even flinched in the hall when everyone else had ran from him. She'd stood up to Fury and Coulson even after Coulson had tortured her. She could handle this too. 

 

Loki drew in a deep, shuddering breath and began. 

"Odin and Frigga never told me what I was. They led me to believe I was their son- just like Thor. But I was never as good as Thor; never lived up to what Odin wanted in a son. At first I thought it was just because I was the youngest, but then...then the punishments became more and more unequal. The way he spoke to us was different. I worked  _so hard_ , Amelie. All for nothing. And  _he_ didn't even tell me himself. Not really. I found out what I was because of an idiotic mission- Thor's  _brilliant_ plan to protect the kingdom. I had to confront Odin to find out I was nothing more than a political pawn. 

When I thought back, I realized that he had wanted to use me to unite Jotunheim and Asgard during a _specific_ time- when I was much younger, but it didn't work out the way he'd planned.  _That's_ when he started to treat me worse than ever. When he realized he'd made a mistake- stealing me from my home.  _That's_ when he started to devise extremely cruel punishments for everything I did wrong."

"When he fell into the Odinsleep, I thought I could make up for everything. I-- I would destroy Jotunheim once and for all. That way, there would be no more conflicts with the frost giants, and I would finally be the hero that my brother had always been. I even drew Laufey, my birth father, into Asgard so I could  _kill_ him myself." 

Amelie gasped, and Loki stopped, knowing he'd finally made her realize who he really was. 

"You see, Amelie? You don't want me. I'm a monster. This face- this isn't my face. It's the face Odin gave me so that the people of Asgard would have a  _prince_ to look upon.  _I_ am the kind of monster who kills his own father." 

 

In nothing more than a whisper, Amelie spoke. "You did it because you wanted to be that prince."

"What prince?"

"You wanted to be the prince you'd always thought you were, so you tried to eliminate any trace of your true self..."

Loki's face clouded for a moment, and he couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was actually  _justifying_ his actions. 

"What if I  _didn't_ , though? What if I just wanted to commit genocide, Amelie? Would you  _still_ want to be with me?"

Amelie squeezed his hands tighter, rubbing her thumbs across them. "You didn't. I know you better than that, Loki. Stop trying to push me away because you're afraid. Now, tell me what else happened."

 

"Frigga- no,  _mother_ thought I had simply saved Odin's life. He was lying helpless after all. I was finally  _proud_ of something for once in my long life. Then, the oaf  _miraculously_ came back. He told her about the Destroyer. I couldn't face her, so I left and continued with my plan to destroy Jotunheim. But on the bridge, Thor and I- we fought... and he broke the bridge. Odin woke as we fell." 

Loki went silent for a moment, catching his breath and preparing for the worst part. 

"I was dangling from the end of Gungnir- his...spear... and I tried to tell him. I tried to tell him that I'd done it all for him. I just wanted his approval for _once_ in my  _miserable life!_ " 

A tear escaped Loki's eye and rolled down his cheek, but Amelie reached up to wipe it away. 

"But all he could say to me was  _'No Loki.'_ " 

"I can still see his eyes. So disappointed. I meant nothing to him. It was as if an artifact from his collection was hanging there, and the choice was to save it or let it fall. But the look in his eyes told me that I, the artifact in question, was broken beyond repair, so he no longer cared for it anyway. So...I let go."

Amelie was crying openly and without shame. She felt every emotion that crossed Loki's face as if it were her own. So much  _pain_. 

"Did you think...did you think you would..." She couldn't bring herself to finish, so she let the question hang in the air. 

"Yes, of course. I thought all of the torment, pain, and heartache would finally, mercifully be over. But that was only the beginning." 

"Oh, baby... what happened? And I'm sorry for my ignorance, but what is this  _bridge_ you fell from? I'm guessing it's not like one on Earth."

Loki chuckled without much humor. 

"No darling. It's much like what you would call a portal...it sends us to other realms. But, it shattered, and underneath is the void." 

"What's...the void?" 

"You would call it empty space." 

Once again, Amelie gasped. She couldn't imagine how Loki had survived such a fall. How had he survived without oxygen? How had he made it through _any_  planet's atmosphere? 

"I fell for... _days_ ,  _nights,_ possibly even  _weeks_ before," he paused. 

"Before?" 

"I-- I can't tell you that part. It would put you in danger. I  _can_ tell you that I still have nightmares about it. The void. There were pockets of bone-chilling cold. Temperatures cold enough to make me- a  _frost giant_ \- freeze. I would fall through them thinking I had reached my destination. Thinking I'd finally found death. But then I hit a pocket of air so dense with heat that my armor would melt to my flesh. Do you know what heat does to a Jotun body, Amelie?" 

"N-no," she stuttered, fearing the answer. 

"It boils the blood. I could  _feel_ it. It felt like I was being burned alive." 

"I fell through several atmospheres, hoping to land on an inhabitable world, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not use my magic to help me land. This," he glanced around the room, "was always my destiny." 

"Do you mean...?"

"You, Amelie. You're my destiny. If...if you'll still have me."


	27. Chapter 27

"So? What are your ideas? I mean, when I first saw the thing, I thought it looked like a Hydra weapon. Of course, Fury didn't--" 

Thor grabbed Steve's shoulders, almost shaking him as he interrupted his train of thought. 

"Do you think my brother meant all of that? That I... _drove_ him to do what he did?"

The desperate look in Thor's eyes made Steve feel like his own safety might depend upon his answer. But he knew deep down that the blond god standing before him would never actually hurt him. 

"I honestly can't answer that. I know he wasn't affected by the stone, so it wasn't that. But I don't know anything about your family. All I know is that I've seen Loki lie..." Steve let his last words hang in the air. They were heavy and oppressive, and he knew Thor understood what he was trying to say without actually  _saying_ anything. 

Thor sighed heavily, dropping his head. "You're right. He wasn't lying. He wasn't even embellishing. I am the reason for all of this. I could have influenced father. All this time, I allowed the abuse because I wanted to be his favorite. I never realised that I didn't have to hurt Loki for that title. Loki never had a chance. And he didn't even  _know_ it. He fought and he worked and he tried harder and harder each time father admonished him. When I look back now, I..." 

He paused, looked up at Steve with unshed tears in his eyes, and announced, "I'm taking the stone to Asgard. Odin will never believe in Loki's innocence unless he sees this himself. He will know what to do with it."

Steve was taken aback by Thor's sudden decision, but he couldn't argue with his reasoning. No one _t_ _here_ knew what to do with the shard. 

"Not to, um, question your father, but what if he can't find its origin? What if he _won't_? I mean, after what Loki has told us, it's obvious your father would only be doing this for _you_." 

Steve held his breath. He was tip-toeing, and he knew it. But he didn't want to risk Loki getting screwed because of his heritage- something he couldn't help.

Thor chuckled, "My friend, that's why I'm going to our _mother_ first. She is the one who can find the stone's origin. It will probably even speak to her in the same way it speaks to Loki- because they share a magical bond. And she will  _make_ father help Loki. Make no mistake, I have always been father's favorite, but I know beyond a doubt that Loki has always been mother's."

A dark look crossed Thor's features before he spoke again. 

"I stopped her when she tried to follow him."

Steve gave Thor a questioning look, and he dropped his head. 

"The night Loki...fell into the abyss. Mother was under protection inside the palace because of all of the disturbances. When father and I finally came back to her, and we told her what had happened, she... she ran out onto the destroyed bridge. I still remember the distress on her face. She searched frantically for him in the darkness. She must have cast hundreds of location spells. And when she couldn't find him, she jumped. I barely managed to grasp the edge of her dress to keep her from plunging into the void. I had to hold her down to keep her from trying it again...

She screamed at me for hours for saving her. Screamed until her voice was gone. She was so  _angry_. She'd thought she could find him if she just followed him into the void. She knew he wasn't dead. Somehow she knew. She wouldn't even speak to me for...months. I should have known then that this was my fault. Mother knew. She just didn't want to lose another son.

At least now I can go back to Asgard and tell her the good news."

 

 

Steve left the lab after Thor headed to the roof of the helicarrier. His mind was a jumble of horrific images; for once not from the war and not from watching his best friend fall to his death. He wiped his cheeks, hoping no one could tell he'd been crying. 

" _You_! You gave me the shittiest advice ever! Phil didn't want company. Phil thought I was coming down there to see him so I could mock him! I should never have listened to you- the man who's never even  _been_ in a relationship!"

Steve sighed, took two steps back from Stark- who had been standing toe-to-toe with him- and shook his head. 

"Not now, Tony. I did my best. I can't help it if you went in there like a raging bull and Coulson got the wrong idea." 

"Oh, and I  _have_ been in a relationship before...it was just a long time ago. Thanks for reminding me." 

Completely disarmed by Steve's attitude, Tony changed course. 

"Alright, Cap. Talk to me. Tell me what I need to do." 

Steve shrugged. "Actually, I can't talk right now. I need to relay some information to Loki. If you're still here when I get back, and you're not acting like a four-year-old, we'll talk." 

 

 

Loki sat staring at Amelie. She'd just made the single most difficult request he could imagine, and he had no idea what to tell her. 

He thought back on the conversation they'd had, knowing he wanted the same thing she did, but also knowing neither of them could have it until the stone was gone for good. 

 

 _"_ Of course I still want you, Loki. Don't you realize that if I'm your destiny, then you're my destiny too?"

She'd let her hand slide down his jaw onto his neck and he had shivered at her touch. 

"Let me prove it to you," she'd whispered. 

"H-how do you propose to do that, my darling?"

"I want you, Loki. Will you take me, please? Then you'll know I'm yours alone."

Her voice shook as she made her request. She was so innocent. Loki was far from that, but her simple words and wide-eyed nervousness made his lust for her that much more unbearable. 

 

 

"Amelie I...Gods I want you, but what if- what if  _he_ takes over my mind while we...? I can't risk hurting you that way. And are you sure you want your first time to happen in  _this_ room?"

Amelie lowered her head in disappointment. 

"I don't care where we are. I just want you. I'm sorry. I just...I wanted you to know that I belong to you."

Loki tilted her head back with his fingers and gazed into her eyes. 

"Oh sweetheart, please don't apologize for that...wait, are you  _embarrassed_?"

She nodded, tears forming in her eyes. She didn't know why she was embarrassed. She was old enough to have sex, for God's sake. It was being turned down that hurt. 

"Amelie, dearest. I'm absolutely  _not_ turning you down. Look at me."

He gestured toward his impressive erection, which was straining against his leather pants.

"I'm  _suffering_ , but I won't put you in danger my love."

Amelie giggled, wondering what she was going to do with all of that, but also fantasizing about _what she was going to do with all of that_ when Steve flung the door open. 

 

 

"Norns, Steve! We could have been..."

Steve blushed tomato red, but was not distracted from his mission.

"I just thought you'd want to know that the stone is gone."

"Gone? As in missing?" Loki asked, rising to his full height as if to prepare for an attack. 

Steve chuckled. "No. Thor took it to Asgard. Said he was going to get your mother to help him get rid of it."

Steve's tone was almost questioning, mostly because he wasn't sure whether Loki would be happy to hear  _that_ part of his news. 

A genuine smile broke out across Loki's face. It was so bright Steve couldn't help smiling back at him.

"The oaf finally developed some sense," Loki mused happily.

Steve decided that he would wait until later to tell Loki what Thor had revealed to him. He might even decide to keep it to himself.

"I'll leave you two to... do whatever you were doing before I... well, nevermind."

 

 

When Steve left, Loki wrapped his arms tightly around Amelie.

"It's gone, darling. _Gone_." 

Loki's soft, content voice in her ear made Amelie's skin tingle. She had never seen him so  _relaxed_ before. She would have to ask him how his mother could help- later. Now, she had a more pressing issue on her mind. 

"Does that mean?"

Loki winked. "Oh yes, my love. But first...a little change in decoration is in order."  

 

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

Loki winked at Amelie, making her heart race. She was far more nervous than she thought she would be, but she didn't want him to know. He flicked his wrist, locking the door from across the room. 

In a dark, sexy voice he whispered, "So my love, where would you like to be  _right now_? A big fluffy bed with green satin sheets? An excluded cabin on a snowy mountain? A tent in the forest?" 

Loki paced around the room, but came back to her to place soft kisses along her jaw, making her gasp. She could only imagine what those lips would feel like on her naked body. The thought made her blush furiously. 

"Are- are those options? Like, are you going to  _transport_ us somewhere?" 

"In a manner of speaking, love. And the options are endless. Anything you can imagine... where would you like your first time to happen, my darling?" 

"I...Loki, I really do just want you. I don't care where we are." 

 Wrapping his arms around her, Loki nuzzled Amelie's neck. She shivered, knowing what was to come. It was frightening, but she couldn't imagine this with anyone else. 

"I think I know the perfect place then, my love." 

 

 

 

 

 

Loki kept one arm wrapped tightly around Amelie while the other worked furiously to create the illusion around them. Her tiny surprised gasps each time a new object appeared made his heart beat faster. No one on Asgard had ever even cared about his talents- no one besides Frigga. The Asgardian women treated him as though he were untouchable. That is, unless they were stupid with drink and willing to bed literally  _anyone_. Those were Loki's only experiences. Drunk pub women who either did not acknowledge their trysts the day after or treated him as though he were just an object for them to use and discard. 

When the illusion was complete, Loki looked to Amelie's face. He wanted to know if he had made something that pleased her. 

Amelie looked around, blinking hard as though she couldn't quite believe her eyes. "Loki, is this  _real_?" 

It  _almost_ looked like the same room, but instead of a ceiling, there were stars. Actual stars spread across the night sky. Instead of the exam room worthy chairs and sofa that had been there moments before, there was a huge four poster bed adorned with a dark green comforter and pillows. Standing around the room were several pillar candles as well as a few bunches of the most beautiful flowers she had ever seen. 

"It's real enough, darling. Do you like it?" 

"I  _love_ it, but... how? How did you...?" 

Loki smirked at her, "Could we perhaps worry about that later, my love?" 

Amelie blushed and giggled. "Of course. Curiosity got the best of m---" She was interrupted by Loki's cool lips pressing against her own, and she lost her breath. Evidently, he'd been holding back during their previous times spent alone together.

" _Loki..."_

 

  

 

 

Loki gently lifted Amelie and carried her to the four poster bed, laying her down so that her head was propped up on the large satin pillows. 

"Are you sure you're ready, love? We  _can_ wait, you know. You needn"t feel pressured." 

Amelie smiled, then laughed at his sweet sincerity. "You're...very thoughtful, but...Loki, I should have done this a  _long_ time ago."

"No, love. I don't believe that. As hypocritical as this may sound coming from me, your purity means the world to me, and I am honored that- that you want to- " 

Loki couldn't finish. He was suddenly at a loss for words. He'd been with so many women over the centuries, he'd lost count a long, long time ago. And now, when he finally found someone who actually  _cares_ for him, he wished he hadn't. He wished this was the first time he would be taking a young maiden's virginity. Of course, those other times meant absolutely nothing to him, and he had no clue whether the women remembered him or not. A small part of him hoped they did simply because his vanity wouldn't let him feel any differently. However, a much larger part of him hoped they had moved on a long time ago. 

He leaned over her on the bed; his elbows taking his weight so he didn't hurt her by accident. 

"Amelie, do you remember when I told you that...that I have had many, many sexual experiences, but I've never actually  _made love_ to anyone? This will be a first for me as well. I want to make love to you."

 

 

  

 

Amelie sighed at the feel of Loki's mouth moving so slowly down her throat. His hands gently grasped her waist as he worshipped her with his lips.

He hadn't realized just how inexperienced she was until he took his armor off, leaving his tunic and leather pants on. Amelie's hands trembled as she started to remove her own clothing, but Loki took her hands in his own, stopping her. 

"Not yet, love. Not until you're comfortable. You're trembling...are you afraid?"

Her eyes went wide as if she were afraid he would stop everything. 

"N-no...just a bit nervous. I want to please you, Loki."

"I only took this off because it is heavy and it could hurt you if I'm not careful," he gestured to the breastplate he'd removed.

"Oh," she whispered. 

"Besides, it is I who should be pleasing  _you_ tonight darling."

Loki took her in his arms, stilling her trembling lips with his own, and she felt herself growing slick with desire. It was intoxicating and slightly embarrassing all at the same time. She knew she shouldn't feel ashamed of her own arousal, especially when she could feel his so  _prominantly_ pressed against her belly, but she was still self-conscious. 

As his hands roamed over her body, she found herself relaxing and enjoying his touch more and more, and before she knew it she was raising her arms so he could lift her dress over her head. 

Breathing heavily, she looked to his face hoping he liked what he saw. Loki's eyes were dilated and almost cloudy with lust. They took in every inch of her nearly naked form. Resisting the urge to cover herself, she dropped her gaze. 

"Amelie, you are the most magnificent creature I have ever seen. Of all the beauty I have seen, yours is the fairest. Your sweet face; your delicious curves; everything else pales in comparison." 

Though his words were strange, and reminded her that he was not human, they were utterly sincere. She suddenly felt more courage than she'd had before, so she tugged at the bottom of his tunic. She wanted his bare skin against hers so desperately she could hardly bear it. He slipped the soft shirt over his head and tossed it onto the floor before taking her hands and pressing them against his bare chest. 

His skin was cold and pale, almost like a newborn's, but when she ran her hands down his chest toward his stomach, she felt the muscles underneath. There was nothing but taut, hard lines there. When her hands had explored every inch of his torso, she noticed there were some thick pink scars- battle wounds, she thought. It was then, while she stared at one particularly gruesome looking scar that she realized just how long she'd been distracted by his body. When she finally glanced up at Loki's face, he smirked in satisfaction. 

"Do you like what you see, love?"

"You know I do," she blushed. Feeling a bit more courageous, she whispered, " _Touch me, Lok_ _i_." 

 

Loki moved slowly, knowing he would eventually hurt her and hating that he would have to. He'd never worried about that part before. In fact, in his younger days, the more a young maiden cried out, the more he smirked to himself. He suddenly felt ashamed that he had caused so many women pain without giving a damn one way or another. 

His hands slid up her sides, taking her bra with them and sliding it off over her arms as he lavished each nipple with his tongue. Amelie's soft panting breaths in his ear were making him so hard, he waved a hand to unlace his pants just to give himself some extra room. Kissing down her stomach, he moved his hands toward her hips and pulled her lacy panties down. He wondered idly if she would be self-conscious, but it seemed as though she had grown very aroused and no longer cared to be nude in front of him. 

Amelie lay there wanting to believe she was doing everything right; trying to concentrate long enough to touch  _him_ too, but as soon as his hand brushed the inside of her thigh, she knew she was a lost cause. As his fingers worked their way up, she arched away from the bed; her body begging him for something even she didn't understand. And when he finally touched her  _there_ , she let out a low cry from the sensations she felt. 

Loki dipped his fingers into her warmth just far enough to spread her arousal, but not so far as to break her. Then he began to rub, gently. 

"Tell me what you like, love," he whispered. "What do you do when you're alone?"

Amelie had no answer for him. "I...don't... I don't know." 

But whatever he was doing was making her feel something she'd never felt before- something low in her belly. Something she didn't want to end. She gripped the sheets with one hand; his shoulder with the other. 

" _Loki..."_ It was almost a question. What was happening? 

"Just let go, love. Let yourself fall," Loki whispered. 

When she did, every muscle in her body tightened, and she cried out in pleasure. Her breathing was ragged by the time she looked up at him again. 

"By the Norns, was that your  _first_ orgasm?"

Amelie simply nodded, still out of breath. Tears swam in her eyes. 

"I want you, Loki. I want you now," she panted. 

 

Loki removed his pants and carefully positioned himself between Amelie's legs. Looking down into her eyes, he saw nothing but blind trust. It warmed his heart to know that at least one being in all the Nine Realms actually  _trusted_ him. But it was hard knowing he was about to hurt her, even though she wanted him to. 

"Amelie, I don't want to hurt you. I swear I will do everything in my power not to..."

Her tiny hand cupped his face, and she smiled. 

"Loki, I  _want_ this. I  _want_ you. Please, take me." 

Taking a deep breath, he moved to her entrance. He rubbed himself against her and watched as she bit her bottom lip nervously. As he gripped her hips and began to push himself inside her, he dropped his head to her shoulder. He felt the resistence inside her; felt the tension in her body. She began to whimper, and even though her body felt  _so good_ around him, he almost couldn't handle it. 

"I'm so sorry darling. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

When he had fully sheathed himself, he risked a look at her face. Her eyes were screwed shut, and there were tears on her cheeks. He kissed them away and waited for her to regain her composure. She took a deep breath, and he knew she was alright. 

"I was wrong Amelie... you were the one breaking me. Not the other way around. I'm so sorry I hurt you, my love. Let me make you feel good now."

As Loki began to move inside her, Amelie felt the pressure ease and the pleasure begin to build. His mouth was on her neck, her breasts; kissing her deeply. She had never felt so loved. So  _taken_. Each movement, each push of his hips made her moan, and she found that she'd forgotten the initial pain just as he said she would. 

Before long, Amelie gasped Loki's name, coming apart in his arms once again and he found that he couldn't stop himself from following her. His choked  _I love you_ was everything she needed to hear as he spilled himself inside her. 

They lay without speaking for several moments before Loki slowly withdrew from her. He conjured a soft cloth and used it to clean the small amount of blood from her as well as himself. 

"What did you mean when you said I was the one breaking you?" Amelie asked quietly. 

Loki ran his fingers through her hair and nuzzled her forehead. 

"I-- well, I was thinking about being your first... and not wanting to hurt you when I  _broke_ you. But darling, when I heard you whimpering and I saw the tears on your cheeks, I knew that you had broken me long before this night. I am yours."

 

 

 

 

 

Standing on the roof of the helicarrier, Thor suddenly remembered that his ride back home was... _missing._  With the bridge destroyed, his only hope of bringing the shard to Asgard was by use of the Tesseract. He had no idea what he would do without the cube, but he did know that this time... _this time_ he would not fail his brother. 

"Heimdall! I know you can hear me! I need your help."

He stood there waiting...praying to whatever deities would listen that Heimdall would know not to send his father. Loki would never forgive him. 

 

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

Heimdall received Thor's desperate message, and he debated how to proceed. If he  _didn't_  inform the Allfather of Thor's return, he would likely be charged with treason. However, Odin had not been exactly sane as of late, and Heimdall was not convinced he would react well to Thor's discovery- or believe it.

Lately, the Allfather had become convinced he'd heard Loki's voice. He'd become paranoid that the trickster was coming to take the throne. Heimdall found it ironic that Odin was right about Loki being alive, even if he wasn't exactly  _well_. He wondered what else had escaped his watch while Loki had been gone. How had he missed the fact that Loki had been alive the entire time? Where had he been  _before_? Was there someone out there playing with Odin's mind?  _Who was powerful enough to break into the Allfather's mind?_ Besides Loki, himself? Because as much as Heimdall didn't want to think about that possibility, he knew it was there. 

Taking a deep breath, he made his decision. He didn't get along with the God of Mischief, but he had to admit the trickster had style, and he intended to take a page directly from his book.  

Sending the guards to retrieve Odin was no problem for Heimdall. He had full access to the Allfather. Being all-knowing had its advantages, after all. Managing to trick Odin into leaving Asgard for a few days was going to be the difficult part. He supposed he would simply have to improvise. That was where his centuries of watching Loki  _should_  finally pay off. 

Heimdall needed  _days_  to pull off the act of treason he was about to commit, but he really only had hours. So the first thing he did was call Odin's guards to him. 

"There is an urgent matter I wish to discuss with the Allfather. It is of utmost importance and time is of the essence." 

Odin was brought to him in less than ten minutes. Clearly, he had been waiting for some news. Heimdall just didn't know  _what_  news, so he fabricated something vague. 

"I do not believe the youngest prince of Asgard has perished in the void, Allfather. I must apologize if I am bringing you false hope, but I have observed some magical anomolies in the realm of Vanaheim that lead me to believe he might have tricked us."

When Odin started to shake his head in disbelief, Heimdall reminded him, "It would not be the first time Loki has slipped my watch. As much as I do not like to admit it, he has the power to do so." 

Heimdall wasn't dense. He knew Odin was playing a game. Though Odin  _acted_ like he didn't believe Loki was still alive, Heimdall had seen his behavior. He'd witnessed the Allfather pacing his study throughout all hours of the night; researching the void, researching magic- but not just any magic,  _Loki's_ magic. Odin was positively  _paranoid_ that Loki would return unscathed and ready to take his place. 

The Allfather nodded slowly; gravely, then gave Heimdall a look of determination. 

"If he is there, I will find him. I shall take my leave now. Tell the guards to watch over Frigga in my absence." 

Heimdall felt distinctly proud of himself for pulling off such a scheme- but this was only the beginning. Now he had to tell Frigga the  _truth_. 

 

 

Odin had  _known_ that Loki was alive and well- and most likely plotting his demise. The crazed look in his eyes as he'd hung from the Bifrost that night had chilled him to the bone. His only response to that look had been a muttered  _No, Loki_. But those two words had been just enough. Just enough to push Loki over the edge. 

He'd known Loki would let go. Loki had sought- and seemingly failed to obtain- Odin's approval for so long. Sure, Odin admired Loki's talent. _Feared_ it, even. That was the very reason Loki had to go. It had been for the good of Asgard. If Loki had stayed, there would have been an uprising. Everyone in Asgard would have surely found out about Loki's heritage, and Odin would have been made a fool. It was almost as if Loki had _planned_ to put him to sleep inside that vault. Taking the throne allowed him such freedom. Freedom to make underhanded deals with his kinsman. Deals Odin still knew nothing of. 

Of course, none of that had been planned. Loki did what Loki always does. He mucked everything up. Odin's plan had been to allow the Frost Giants entry during Thor's coronation. It had been a kill-two-birds-with-one-stone approach. Thor was obviously not ready to become king of Asgard, so that had been thwarted for a while. And Loki...well, everyone  _thought_ Loki had allowed the Jotnar into the palace. He'd suddenly be a traitor. That, alone would have been cause to throw him in the dungeons. But Loki just  _had_ to trick Thor into going to Jotunheim. That's when everything began to fall apart. 

Odin almost wished Loki  _had_ perished in the void. Then he wouldn't have to waste his precious time searching Vanaheim. His only real comfort was that as soon as he found the trickster, he would lock him in the dungeons. Everyone in Asgard knew he was unhinged anyway. No one could fault the Allfather for wanting to keep his son safe from his own self-destructive tendencies. 

 

 

Thor stood there for what felt like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes before he sensed a familiar tug on Mjolnir. Tentatively, so as not to get his hopes up, he raised the hammer up over his head, and in seconds he was pulled through the blackness of the Unknown. This was how he'd managed to land on Midgard in the first place- through the Unknown. He detested it, but if it brought him back to Asgard, he was willing to suffer through the suffocating blackness around him.  _Please don't bring me to father. Please._

When he finally hit solid ground and the dark spaces cleared from his eyes, Thor heard his mother's voice. It was so close to his ear, he jumped. 

"Thor! What news do you have? Heimdall said you had news from Midgard... he wouldn't tell me specifics. He simply said that- that your father couldn't know." 

Thor blinked a few times, then rose to his feet. He took a hesitant step forward, flinging his arms tightly around his mother. 

"Thank the Norns! Father would never under--- nevermind. Can we go somewhere else? Your study, perhaps?" 

Thor had never been permitted inside Frigga's study. He had his suspicions about Loki though. He always knew Loki was her favorite, and he did not begrudge his brother that one simple gift. 

"This news. Is it...that sensitive, son?" 

Thor nodded gravely, and Frigga took his arm, leading him toward the palace gates. 

 

 

When they had reached Frigga's study, she hesitated outside the door. Taking Thor by his shoulders, she gave him a weak smile. 

"My son, I must warn you...things have been a bit... _off_ around here, so please don't mind the clutter." 

Thor cocked his head to the side wondering what she could possibly be talking about. When she opened the door, he suddenly understood. Every surface of the room was covered in candles, incense, and- photographs of Loki. Some of the tables even had his belongings spread across them. 

Tears formed in his mother's eyes. "I tried everything. I know he's out there, Thor. I just know it..." 

Frigga was surprised to see Thor smiling. It was a triumphant smile that she'd seen only after he had won a large battle. 

"What...?" 

"I found him, mother. He's safe- well, relatively safe. He's on Midgard, and he's, well, he's fallen in love." 

Frigga's look of disbelief passed quickly.  "Take me to him! Take me to him now. I need to see him for myself."

Thor hesitated. "I will. But...I need your help first."

"Anything. Anything I can do, my son. Just please... "

Thor gently removed the shard from his breastplate, placing it in Frigga's gloved hand. 

"I need you to destroy this. Forever." 

The expression on her face changed drastically, and she began shaking her head. "I- I don't know if I can do that." 

"Mother, you  _must._ This thing has been controlling Loki's mind! You must get rid of it! You're his only hope." 

"Thor, where did you get this?" She whispered. 

He paused for a moment to study her stricken face. "It was on the scepter he had when he landed on Midgard. Why?"

"Because...because your father has one almost identical to it in his own study. He- he," she began to cry in earnest, " _talks_ to it." 

 


	30. Chapter 30

Thor stared at Frigga for several moments; his expression completely blank. The implications of her confession were endless. 

_Had Odin been communicating with Loki? Had he been communicating with whatever has control of Loki? Why was he talking to the stone?_

"H-how long has he had the shard in his possession, mother?" 

Frigga shook her head. She looked so tired in that moment, Thor knew things had not been as they seemed when he'd been back in Asgard. 

She sighed, "A while. He had it before..." 

Thor's narrowed gaze forced her to continue, even though he knew she would rather not. 

"Before Loki fell," she sobbed. "He took it everywhere; wouldn't let it out of his sight! He insisted even  _I_ wasn't allowed to touch it. Thor... what  _is_ that thing?" 

Thor couldn't answer her. He suddenly felt his entire world crashing down around him. Even if Odin  _hadn't_ caused Loki's breakdown, he definitely didn't  _help_. He fell to his knees and let out a roar of pure anguish. 

Loki had been telling the truth. Odin  _had_ let the giants in during his coronation. He didn't need any further proof. He felt it in his soul- Odin's betrayal. 

 

 

Loki and Amelie were tangled together in a confusing mass of naked arms and legs. Amelie was fascinated by Loki's ability to create such realistic looking objects out of thin air, so he continued to do so; showing her images of Asgard and its creatures. He couldn't remember the last time he had the luxury of  _time_. Time to lay on his bed and conjure anything that crawled across his mind. 

While he'd been captive, Thanos had  _forced_ him to use his magic, but it had been extremely unpleasant to have someone prodding inside his head trying to find the right button to push. He remembered crying out in pain each time the titan had used him in that way. 

Amelie's giggling suddenly brought Loki out of his memory, and he looked up to see that the creature she was staring at had started to fade, making it appear as though it were full of bright stars. 

"How did you  _do_ that?" She marveled. 

"Oh, I- well, the illusion I created for us earlier is more permanent than these, so when I started to think of other things, this one faded." 

Amelie blushed. "What other things, sweetheart?" 

He hadn't meant  _those_ other things, but the sexy look on her face told him that she was definitely thinking of those things. So he ran his hand down her hip, kissing her deeply. 

 

 

"Mother... it  _must_ be destroyed, or Loki will never be free. He is suffering. Did...did father speak with  _him_ through the shard?" 

Thor was grinding his teeth. He wanted badly to be alone; to send his rage into the sky, pulling the lightening down from the heavens. He wanted to feel the buzz of electricity burning his hatred away. But he knew that was not possible. This mission had to be completed. 

Then, he would go find his father. Then, he would demand an explanation. 

Frigga met his eyes with her own. She had a faraway look that told Thor she was trying to remember what she'd witnessed. Tears still streaked down her face as she began to speak. 

"I wasn't allowed inside his chambers. I- I thought he was entertaining a... guest. So I used my Seidr to send an apparition inside- one he could not see. I remember his eyes glowing as he held the stone in his hands. It was as if he was holding the rarest diamond. Then...there was a voice. A harsh, gutteral voice. It took me a moment to realize that it was  _his_ voice. He was whispering to the stone, telling it to  _do_ something. Then, he mentioned pain..." 

"Was there anything else, mother?" Thor asked in a hushed tone, trying to keep his mother calm. 

"Oh, there were many, many nights like that one. But I was never able to understand what was happening because Odin eventually found me out. It wasn't until the time he left that I could escape my own chambers." 

Thor bristled. "He kept you  _prisoner_?" 

Frigga couldn't speak, but her stricken face was all he needed in the way of a reply. 

 

 

Loki was lying on his back, gently encouraging Amelie to take the lead. He'd taken her several times already, and as much as he loved the feel of her soft body writhing underneath him, he felt selfish.

He needed to give her this. 

"Loki, I don't know what I'm doing... I can't..." she whispered, blushing furiously. 

What she didn't realize was that she was already doing everything beautifully. She straddled his hips giving him the most glorious view of her breasts; her dark hair tumbling over her shoulders. Though their bodies weren't yet joined, he was in Valhalla already. 

"Amelie, my love, just do what feels good to you. It will feel good to me too,  _trust me_ ," he winked. 

She smiled; her hooded eyes meeting his in a gaze so sexy he groaned aloud. Leaning down, she rubbed her nipples down his chest simultaneously sliding her slick wetness along his swollen manhood. He'd almost slipped inside her, and it made him want to grasp her hips and take control, but he held himself back. Instead, he focused on the sound of her heavy breathing. 

 

 

As Odin made his way through Vanaheim, he reflected on the last few months. He'd known Loki was nowhere in the vicinity; he was on Midgard, and he was carrying out the orders Thanos had given him. Odin also knew that Thor and Heimdall had betrayed him, but he didn't know  _why_.

Why had they wanted him out of the way so badly that they would send him to Vanaheim on a false mission to find Loki? Thor  _knew where Loki was!_ Thor had even  _interracted_ with Loki. Odin had heard him through the shard he held in his hands. It had only been a few words here and there, but Odin knew his son's voice. 

He stood amongst the trees wondering how he would ever complete the task Thanos had given him. How would he ever keep his throne if Loki failed?

Had Loki recognized him through Thano's disguise? Had he heard Odin's voice even though Thanos had agreed to mask it?

 

 

Frigga stared at the shard in Thor's hand. Everything was connected somehow. She knew it, but she needed to find out how.

Thor couldn't think rationally in these situations. He reacted with anger and rage- which was why he was such a great warrior- but probably wouldn't make a great king. She had voiced those concerns to the Allfather many times, but he never listened. He just wanted Loki and his past to go away. He never wanted anyone to know what Loki really was. After the incident between Loki and Heimdall,  _everyone_ knew, and Odin had been furious. 

 

Thor stood staring at her; his face hard and filled with contempt. If things were different and Loki was in his place, she knew that Loki would have comforted her somehow. Loki would have his arms around her. She felt her eyes well, but stopped them. 

"I think...your father wanted Loki to..." She took a deep breath. Thinking the thought and saying it aloud were two very different things. 

"I think he  _wanted_ Loki to fall. And I think he was using the stone to communicate with someone." 

 

Without conscious thought, Thor slammed the stone onto the nearest table. A split second later, Mjolnir came crashing down upon it, but nothing happened. 

" _I_ think father has been communicating with  _Loki_. Controlling him somehow. This thing  _must be destroyed!_ "

 

Frigga picked up the stone and glared at Thor when she realized her table had cracked from the trauma it had recently received. 

"My son, if we're going to destroy it, we cannot use brute strength. We're going to need the other stone." 

 

 

 

Loki laced his fingers with Amelie's as she rocked her hips; slowly at first. The trepidation in her eyes melted away when he let out a soft moan. He wanted her to know how good she felt on top of him. Watching her take control- watching her slide herself down on him- it was the sexiest thing he had ever experienced. 

She moved a little faster, and her lips parted in the prettiest 'O' shape. Loki couldn't stop staring; not at her breasts or her beautiful curves, but at her face as she made love to him. Her eyes fluttered closed and her cheeks grew cherry red.

He slipped his fingers between their bodies and continued to watch her face as he gently rubbed her. Her hips moved faster, and her breathing grew ragged. Loki felt her body go rigid as she threw her head back and gasped his name. 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

The stone had spoken to Frigga. Not like it had with Odin or Loki. It had  _shown her_ how to destroy it. 

That was the only explanation Thor could come up with for his mother's behavior. She was utterly serene. She just  _knew_ that they needed the other stone in order to destroy the one in her hand. 

"Mother, did that thing...speak...to you?" Thor asked hesitantly. 

Frigga gave him a look that he'd seen on Loki's face many, many times.

_If sarcasm could kill..._

"If it had, do you think I would still be holding it, my son?" 

"So, how do you know we need the other stone?"

Frigga sighed. However powerful Thor may be, he was never gifted in Sight or Seidr. Though he had held the stone all the way from Midgard, he hadn't realized that it was connected to another more powerful stone- the stone that Odin possessed. She was certain that if Loki hadn't been under its spell, he would have noticed the connection immediately. 

"This stone cannot be destroyed without its counterpart. The other stone is vastly more powerful than this one, and it gives this one strength. They are like entwined particles, except because the other particle is so strong, this one cannot be harmed without the other being harmed first. I need you to find your father, wherever he may be. Bring that stone back here no matter how you have to do it." 

Thor nodded, but Frigga wasn't finished. 

"My son, you must not fail. Your father will be expecting you. By now, he knows of your betrayal. You must find a way to bring the stone to me with or without him."

He shuddered at the words left unspoken.  _With or without him_ actually meant  _bring him back here alive, stone in hand, or leave him for dead._

 

 

 

Steve was done with Tony.

He'd had enough. All he had done since Thor left was listen to Tony belly-ache about Coulson; how Loki had  _"most assuredly fucked Coulson up more than anyone."_

And how Tony would give anything to have just a few hours alone with Coulson-  _without_ the sterile feel of his locked-down room. 

So what had Steve done?

He'd managed to talk Fury into allowing Coulson a few hours of "free" time. With supervision, of course. And who better to supervise him than Tony Stark? The man who could  _fly_ if Coulson decided to fling himself from the helicarrier again...

Steve hadn't really wanted to help, but he knew if he didn't, he would never get away from Tony. However, now that he  _had_ , he was feeling useless and lonely. He was dying to know how Loki and Amelie were doing, but he certainly didn't want to interrupt if they were doing what he suspected they might be doing...

Shaking his head to clear the graphic images, he quietly made his way down the hallway toward their door.

He would knock. If he didn't get an answer, or if he _heard...things,_ he'd run down the hall and not look back. 

He had something he wanted to tell Loki anyway. During the last two days, he'd had a lot of time on his own, and being a fairly trusted member of the team, he had done some snooping. He hadn't told anyone else what he had found because he no longer knew who he could trust, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Loki hadn't had a hand in  _this_.

This was spear-headed by Fury. 

 

 

Loki lay on his back staring up at the ceiling while Amelie slept curled into his side. He told himself she needed her rest, even though he needed her company. Not necessarily the kind they had been sharing for the better part of the last 48 hours, but  _real_ company.

He needed to just  _be_ with her. Being mind-controlled had taken its toll on him in ways he had never known possible, and now he felt as if he were trying to shake off a terrible hangover; one caused by Asgardian absinthe or something even stronger.

He'd only ever had that liquor once, and he'd vowed never again. For someone like Thor, who thinks of nothing but the battles he's won, the hallucinations are quite happy, but for Loki...his mind had turned against him almost immediately. Perhaps those who already have vivid imaginations should stay away from stiff, hallucinogenic drink. 

A knock at the door shook Loki from his musings.  _Steve._  

He waved a hand across Amelie, dressing her in something far more modest than the frilly bra and panties she'd been wearing, crossed the room, and opened the door with a wide grin. 

 

 _"The soldier._ Come in," he smirked.

Steve immediately looked to the bed in the center of the room, saw Amelie's sleeping form, and blushed crimson. 

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to interrupt."

Loki chuckled, "Do you _really_ think I'm that kind of guy, Steve? She's  _asleep_." 

This made Steve blush even more, and he finally just took a seat on the couch. 

"No, I guess not. I didn't mean to... I just...  _shit._ " 

Loki was far more entertained by Steve's discomfort than he'd been while staring at the ceiling and thinking of his past. It was just too  _easy_ to ruffle his feathers. Loki idly wondered exactly how long it had been since Steve was with a woman, if ever. The thought was a bit depressing. 

"What can I do for you, Captain? Please do get comfortable. You are not interrupting anything. She needs her rest, and I need the company." 

 

 

Steve was certain those were the kindest words he had received from Loki the entire time they had known each other, even though he considered the god a friend. It made him feel good for a moment, until he remembered why he came. 

"I wanted to share some intel with you," Steve said. 

Loki looked almost amused by his statement, as if no one had ever  _shared intel_ with the God of Mischief before. Steve shrugged to himself. Maybe they hadn't...Still, he continued. 

"Loki, Fury has been using the Tesseract to build weapons."

Steve watched Loki's face scrunch in confusion. 

"What? _Why?"_  

Loki rolled his eyes. He couldn't understand mortals' thought processes. Why would you build a weapon you could not control? A weapon that could fall into the hands of another mortal who wanted to control  _you?_ Were they that arrogant or just that stupid? He was shaking his head when Steve answered. 

"I don't know, exactly. But I don't like it. I found a few of their prototypes while I was searching through the weapon vaults...doing a little undercover investigation of my own." 

Loki smirked, "You were snooping, weren't you Captain?" 

The soldier was more like him than he'd ever admit. But that may just be what saved them all. 

"I might have been," Steve said without pride.

Loki could tell he was slightly ashamed of himself for not obeying the "rules." Loki would have to help him get over that. He grinned at the thought. 

"Who else knows?" 

 _Norns, please don't tell me that cretin metal man knows about this. He'll sell them to everyone. But at least then_ I _won't be blamed for Ragnarok._

"Just you and me. I don't know who else to trust with this. Loki, these are  _just like_ the weapons Hydra was using during the war."

Loki sat in silence for a few moments before leveling his gaze at Steve. 

"Can you sneak one in here?" 

 After shooting one very panicked look at Loki, Steve nodded. 

"I think so. Just so you know, I  _trust_ you. Don't make me regret it." 

Loki chuckled, but didn't answer. 

 

 

Thor was confused, heartbroken, and mentally exhausted, but he was in Vanaheim and searching diligenty for his father. 

 _Was_ Odin still his father?

Technically, yes, but something in Thor's heart told him that Odin was not the same man he'd once looked up to. Something inside him told him that Odin would kill him if he had to.

He fervently wished Loki was with him at that moment. Loki  _always_ knew what to do, even if it was the wrong thing to do... it was the right thing. Even if they broke every law in Vanaheim, Loki would not fail. 

_Loki would not fail._

That thought brought Thor to another conclusion, and he stopped dead in his tracks. 

 _Loki had_ wanted _the Avengers to catch him in Stuttgart._ _He_ wanted _to fail._  

"Brother, I am so sorry..." Thor muttered aloud. 

Had Loki known what was happening to him all along? Had he known he needed to find people to defeat him? 

Those two thoughts tormented Thor as he searched because if Thor knew one thing about Loki, it was that Loki  _hated_ being defeated.

Loki  _always_ won.

Even as children, when Thor overpowered him during training, Loki found a way to make him look like a fool later on. He found a way to  _win_.

When Odin praised Thor for something he'd done- a battle won, or some other now insignificant triumph- Loki found a way to get their father's attention, whether it be good or bad. He found a way to  _win_. 

This time, he had chosen to lose, and that broke Thor's heart. But it also gave him hope that Loki  _had a plan_. 

 

 

Odin pulled the shard from his pocket. Over the last few days, he'd become confused and disoriented. He couldn't figure out why he had come to Vanaheim in the first place. He  _knew_ damn well that Loki  _wasn't_ there, so how had he been tricked into believing he was? How had he been manipulated so easily? 

Thinking back to the last time he had spoken with Thanos, he remembered the Titan's threats: 

 _Your_ son _is far more intelligent than you are, All-father. And you know which son I am referring to. He has found a way to ignore you. He has found a way to resist your commands, just as he did the last one. Do I need to replace you too? I thought, since you_ are _his father...that you would have more control over him, but if not, you can be disposed of as well._

 

_No! That won't be necessary. I can do this! It's the girl. She's the one who is helping him. I'll make him kill her..._

 

_Ah...I like the way your mind works, Odin. Let's see if you can pull this off._

 

He hadn't, and things had been a bit strange since. Odin had felt as if his memories were fading; he remembered Loki falling into the void, but there were times when he thought his son had perished and times when he actually remembered the mission. It was almost as if the Titan were playing with his mind... 

He knew exactly where Loki and the girl were. Maybe he would just have to prove his loyalty. Maybe he would have to go kill her himself. 

It was, after all, his only option. Thanos had promised to make sure Loki never stole his throne, but now Odin was certain he'd been tricked. Thanos had orchestrated the whole thing; from convincing Odin that Loki would die in the void to providing him with the shard... to giving Loki the staff... to forcing Odin to betray Loki in the worst possible way. But Odin had no choice. He couldn't overpower Thanos, so he had to make absolutely certain he did whatever the Titan asked of him, even if it meant Loki's demise. 

At least maybe he would remain King of Asgard while the rest of the realms fell. 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

Steve didn't know why Loki would want one of the prototypes, but he knew that Loki had experience with the Tesseract, so maybe he had a good reason. He  _hoped_ Loki had a good reason. As he snuck through the hallways, Steve began to count all the things he'd recently done that could be considered traitorous. It was a pretty extensive list, and this was at the top. 

When he came to the room holding the weapons vault, he was shocked to find that the door was already open.  _Oh shit...someone knows I've been down here..._

Heart pounding in his throat, he soundlessly walked through the open doorway. 

"Fuck, Cap... don't you ever knock?" 

It was Tony. And Coulson. 

"What are you two doing down here?! I thought you were supposed to be spending some time---" Steve realized his mistake the second the words were out of his mouth. They were both a bit mussed; Tony's hair wasn't exactly pointy anymore, and Coulson looked like he had been rolling around on the floor. 

"This is the  _second time_ today. Guys... I.... nevermind." Steve turned and hightailed it back down the hall. He was fed up with catching people making out, having sex, or basking in the after-glow. 

Now he would have to find a way to get that prototype some other time- when no one was using the room for extra-curricular activities. Steve shook his head, rolling his eyes. He had unintentionally set himself up to fail. 

 

 

Thor knew his way around Vanaheim, but finding your way around a realm and finding someone who doesn't wish to  _be found_ are two very different things. He wished he could have asked Heimdall for his particular wisdom on the subject before leaving Asgard, but he knew he had already asked too much of the seer. If things did not go perfectly, Heimdall would stand trial for treason with the rest of them. Thor had no intention of making that worse. 

He wondered not for the first time how his mother would destroy the two stones, and how it would affect the Tesseract. Would it affect Loki or Odin? He had no real way of knowing whether the stone had any lasting influence over those who had held it. But he trusted his mother's magic and her instincts more than anyone else, so he knew she would do the right thing.

Thor knew that walking through the forest would probably only get him so far in his search for Odin, even if Odin was hiding there, so he opted to head towards one of the small villages he had visited before. He would stop at the local tavern and see if he could eavesdrop for information. That kind of intel gathering was usually Loki's forte, but since his brother wasn't there, he would have to do it himself. He just hoped he wasn't as much of an oaf as Loki always said he was.  

 

 

Steve wondered if Amelie was still asleep. He needed to tell Loki that he would have to wait for a little while longer to get his hands on one of those prototypes. But he didn't want to interrupt anything else. It wasn't that he felt any ill will toward couples. It was that he felt so out of touch. He was  _so old_ , yet he was stuck in this young man's body- with a young man's mind, and far more terrible experiences than he ever wanted to recall. 

When he reached Loki's door, the god opened it before he could knock, which made him feel a lot better. Earlier that day, Steve had questioned Loki about the sudden appearance of new furniture and decorations in the room. He'd been shocked to see that Loki had somehow added a bed and several very lively potted plants. Loki merely smirked and said something that sounded an awful lot like  _illusions gone wild_ , so Steve didn't ask any more questions. 

"Loki, I'm sorry. I went down there again, and Tony and Coulson were..." he pursed his lips awkwardly without continuing. Loki laughed, making Steve jump. 

"So, they were being affectionate? In the weapons vault? That sounds like Stark." 

Steve was relieved to see that Loki wasn't angry about the prototype, but the look on his face turned from amused to thoughtful in just a few seconds. 

"Captain, why don't you...ah...have a  _companion_?" Loki obviously didn't know whether Steve liked men or women... or both, so he stuck with a more neutral word. 

"Well, when you're almost a century old, and you've been frozen for most of that time, the women you used to know are all--" 

"Dead?" Loki finished for him. Steve flinched. "No, not exactly. She just, I mean, they are or were all married, and now they're--"

"Old. _Really, really old,"_ Loki finished again. Steve sighed, but nodded. 

"Wait.  _She?_ Was there someone special, Steve?" 

Steve didn't know why Loki was suddenly so interested in his non-existent love life, but as he observed the god's facial expressions, he didn't see any signs of impending mockery. All he saw was honest curiosity. Possibly even  _empathy_. 

"Why do you want to know that?" 

"Because I'd like to... repay your kindness for everything you have done here. It can't have been easy." 

Steve's apprehension must have shown on his face because Loki began explaining himself. 

"If you tell me who she was or what she looked like, I can create an illusion... one you can interact with for a short time.  _I don't mean like that,"_ he finished, noticing Steve's scandalized expression. 

"You could, I don't know, hold her... watch television... anything that doesn't require too much verbal interaction on her part. After all, she can only do so much," Loki chuckled. 

Steve didn't know how to feel about such an offer, but he knew that he had missed his date with Peggy. He also knew that seeing her again- young and virile- would probably break him. 

"I don't know, Loki." He shook his head. 

"Just let me show you what I can do, and if you don't like it, I can make her go away..." 

 

Steve sat on the tiny couch in Loki and Amelie's room contemplating Loki's rather strange offer. He had to remind himself that if he accepted, she would only be an illusion. He wasn't really doing anything unethical. And he really only wanted to  _dance_ with her. He'd wanted that since before the plane crash. Peggy...in his arms, swaying to music. He knew he could never have her in this lifetime, so what could it hurt?

 

 

As Thor sat down on a stool in the grubbiest tavern in Vanaheim, he listened for snippets of conversation that might lead him to his suddenly wayward father. Surely, if someone had spotted the All-Father, they would  _say something_ , especially in this rat hole. He downed an ale, then asked for another without skipping a beat. 

"AY! Aren't you...Yes, yes he is. Look who we have here!" The barmaid called out as loudly as she could muster. "It's Thor!"

Thor closed his eyes for the briefest of moments before all Hel broke loose. He thought that _maybe_ he could go to a shabby little establishment on the outskirts of town and not be bothered, but he had been so wrong. He could already hear Loki mocking him.  _You should have worn that dress... you know the one we used to get your hammer back from the giants?_

A ragged voice came from the corner of the room, but it was too dark for Thor to make out the man's face. 

"We was told to watch out fer you. Some ole man came in here. Said you'd be traipsin through here. You lookin to start somethin?" 

Thor knew that Odin was very adept at disguising himself. Maybe not as well as Loki, but close, so there was no way the townspeople in the tavern would know it was him. But Thor knew. 

He held his hands up. "I am not here to cause trouble for your people. I just want to find my father. He has been missing for a few days now. We think he may be in trouble."

"The All-Father? In  _trouble?_ What kind of trouble? He's probably  _causing_ trouble here," the barmaid commented. 

"Did you happen to see where that old man went? He might be able to point me in the right direction," Thor said, hoping he could get some answers without tipping them off. 

 

 

"Can we dance?" Steve asked nervously. 

Loki smirked. "Well, I guess since Amelie is asleep, she can't be jealous...and you  _are_ a strapping young lad."

Steve rolled his eyes. "You  _know_ what I mean... Peggy. Can I dance with her?" 

"Yes, I believe I can set that up Captain." Loki smiled. 

Steve took his wallet out of his suit and pulled her picture from the protective sleeve inside. He hadn't even looked at it since Fury came to him with news that they'd managed to recover some of his belongings from the crash site. It was just too strange and painful. But for whatever reason, he couldn't resist the idea of being able to see her standing before him.

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Are you certain, Captain? It was only an offer. I will not be offended if you turn it down."

"Yes, yes I'm sure."

 

 

Odin watched from the trees behind the tavern. He sighed long and low. It had been over a week since he'd heard the voice from the stone in his left hand, and he wondered if he had become the enemy. He wondered how everything had gone so far out of control. All he had wanted was reassurance that Loki wouldn't be able to overtake his throne. It had been  _so simple_. He had known all along that Thor would respect his wishes until he was ready to give it up. But Loki... Loki had  _ambition_. 

Odin almost felt as though Thanos had  _used_ him to get Loki under his own control. How had Thanos known that Loki would survive the fall from the Bifrost? How had he known that Loki would live through falling into the void? And how had he known  _exactly_ where to go to find him once he had landed? 

When Odin thought back, he only had a foggy recollection of  _before_. Before he'd found the stone that was now in his hand. Before he'd started to worry about Loki's burning desire for the throne of Asgard.  _Before he'd tried to kill his adoptive son._ Had Thanos  _planted_ that stone for him to find? 

 

 

"Father," Thor's voice rang out behind him. 

Suddenly, he forgot everything he had been thinking, and all he could hear was Thano's voice. 

_Don't let him have the stone. He will kill you if you do._

 

 

It really was her. Steve stared at Loki's illusion of Peggy for a moment. She was dressed in her uniform as if she'd walked straight out of his memories and into the room with them. So beautiful his eyes began to tear.

"Peggy. I'm sorry I missed our dance..." he whispered, knowing she couldn't _really_ hear him. 

He held out his hand to her and to his surprise, she took it.  

 

 

 


End file.
